Hibernating

December is not our favorite month. 

It's cold, we have to spend too much time indoors, and

there's simply not enough daylight. 

I suppose I could use the extra inside time to keep this blog updated, but no.

Our current default state is hibernation.

 Alex has found a temporary solution to our couch-is-too-small problem

by claiming the upholstered coffee table as her own.

The few toys you see in the above picture are about all that remain 

relatively in tact out of the three dozen or so she grew up with.

She has decimated the others, with a little help from Smooch.

The upside is she doesn't chew on any of my stuff. Yet.

 

Hockey has been our saving grace this winter. 

I splurged on a season TV pass so I can follow my Washington Capitals,

which means it's hockey night in New Mexico two or three times a week.

Alex finds herself in the penalty box whenever she gets too rough with Smooch.

You may have noticed an absence of all things Christmas in my house.

These geraniums are as red and green as it will get around here.

I don't do Christmas any more. I've never been a big fan of the holiday, 

and Christmas music sends me right over the edge. 

If you're thinking along the lines of "she must be so lonely and depressed," please stop.

I'm not! I just don't like all the hoopla, and out here in nowheresville, it's really easy to ignore.

I might add that nowheresville doesn't seem as remote since my phone 

can pinpoint my location right down to the room I'm standing in. How creepy is that?

All the animals are healthy and happy, which is the best gift of all

any time of the year.

When Alex isn't chewing up her toys, she's fixated on the feral beast.

Have your social media feeds been overflowing with ads from ruggable? 

Mine have, and I was powerless against their marketing tactics, which basically involve 

a lot of dogs. Check out their instagram feed. You'll see what I mean.

But you know what? Their rug system is effin' awesome and we are madly in love,
and they're not paying me to say that.

You: Is this post ever going to end? She goes silent for a couple of weeks 
and now she won't shut up.
Me: One last thing.

I received this gift from someone who knows me too well. Thanks, Ethel!
If the text on the video is too small to read, here's what it says:
Whenever things don't go so well,
and you want to hit the wall and yell,
here's a little dammit doll
that you can't do without. 
Just grasp it firmly by the legs
and find a place to slam it.
And as you whack the stuffing out
yell "Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!" 

(view with the sound on, but not too loud if you're at work)

It should come as no surprise

 It probably comes as no surprise to any of you

that Alex no longer sleeps in the crate that used to be an armoire.

 She now sleeps in my bed, curled tightly against my back,

 sometimes under the covers, depending on how cold it is.

 We asked Smooch for permission before the transition,

and she was okay with it. Smooch still prefers sleeping in her easy chair

next to the bed but will sometimes join us, putting me in the middle.

Think mom sandwich.

Good thing the bed is big enough, because the couch isn't.

 

I wanted a bigger couch anyway

 It seems that Alex is allowed on the couch now.

 Smooch doesn't seem to mind, although I do.

There's barely enough room left for me.

No longer a contender

I've taken myself out of the running for "last person standing without a smartphone."

For years, I've never been able to justify having a smartphone because:

1. Cell service at the ranch is a crapshoot. 

Sometimes I get one bar of service; most times there's no service.

2. I rarely leave the ranch. Having a monthly bill for something 

I would use the 8 hours a month I'm not here seemed ridiculous.

3. My burner phone has served me adequately on the rare occasions I've needed it,

and it's fun to pretend I'm Walter White. 

Then my ipod died and I could no longer listen to audiobooks.

Then I wanted to use Instagram, which doesn't play well with my desktop.

Then my friends started harassing me. 

I'm talking about you, Ethel and Brigitte and Danni.

And Danni. And Danni. And Danni. She was relentless on her recent visit

and convinced me that a smartphone would be useful even without cell service.

I could run it off my wi-fi and be less of a Luddite.

On the left, my burner phone, with its history of numbers written in silver Sharpie on the case,

because no way in hell could I remember them, or how to answer a call for that matter.

 On the right, my new-to-me iphone 6s, in its Barbie-doll-esque case. 

(Rose gold is a lovely color on a metal phone, not so much on plastic.)

I spent too many hours last weekend setting it up.

It now does everything but let me call someone.

One needs a SIM card for that, which won't get here for another week,

because one can't order a SIM card until one actually has a phone with an IMEI number

to provide to a carrier who sells SIM cards. 

Did you hear how loudly I typed that sentence?

Danni calls it "angry typing," having borne witness to
a live chat session between me and the ATT guy.

But who cares about using a phone to make calls when you can use it to listen to audiobooks

while walking your dogs, say nothing of taking pictures of your dogs at the same time.

Too bad there's not an app for untangling leashes.

 Alan: Your finger is covering the lens.

Me: Don't be a smartass. I'll get the hang of it eventually.

 The camera quality is good enough for internet things, and

Alex is getting very good at her sit-and-stay, don't you think?

We still have a ways to go on the leave-my-stuff-alone command,

as well as how to use the iphone camera in low-light conditions.

 One weekend with a smartphone and I've already turned into one of those people

who gets so distracted by the stupid thing that she forgets what's important,

like supervising her puppy.

Smooch, Alex and the octopus

I can't stop taking pictures of my dog

Convalescing

 This is Alex on drugs.

 She was spayed on Thursday.

The procedure knocked the stuffing right out of her...

  ...for about 12 hours.

 She's wearing the cone so she can't lick the incision...

 

...and to serve as a reminder to all of us that

her activity is supposed to be restricted for two weeks.

 

Yeah, right. 

 

Alex's family secrets revealed

What do you get when you mix a Boston Terrier, a Shih Tzu, 

a Siberian Husky, an Australian Cattle Dog and a Chihuahua?

You get Alex.

I received the results of Alex's Wisdom Panel canine DNA test yesterday: 

 

The biggest surprises to me were: 1) 0% pit bull and 2) 25% Siberian Husky?!

Then I started googling and learned about the tail of a Siberian Husky –

"curves upward in a sickle shape when excited or interested in something...

the tail can curl enough to touch the back."

Yep, I do believe the breed results are accurate.

The test also looked at genetic trait markers, which appear to be spot on, too,

except for the ear thing:

Leg length
Alex’s legs should be relatively long in length, based on this marker.

Ear carriage
As far as we can tell, Alex probably has perk or upright ears. 

This type of ear is recessive (which means you need a copy from each parent to show it).*

Common breeds with upright ears include German Shepherd, Chihuahua and Husky.

* Alex's mom has floppy ears so I think this might mean Alex's will stay floppy.

Furnishings
Alex does not carry any copies of the gene for ‘furnishings’ (which would give them 

a fuzzy beard and eyebrows). This means Alex probably has smooth, short facial hair.

Coat length and type
Alex’s coat is probably on the short side.

Coat color subtypes
Alex carries one copy of the gene for white spotting so might have a fair bit of white in their coat.

Coat color main possibilities
Alex appears to be mostly dark in color (either black or brown). 

Either that or they’ll have ‘tiger’ striping (called ‘brindle’). 

They also have the gene for a ‘mask’ pattern on their face. 

Who could have imagined that such an odd mixture of breeds

would result in such a perfect, say nothing of photogenic, dog? Not me.

Alex gets promoted

 I tried to show you Alex's new tag in yesterday's video,

but it was too small to see clearly.

 She is now an official member of the 7MSN security patrol.

Beware the badass deputy.

 

She still has much to learn from the sheriff, but she's getting there.

 

p.s. Both tags came from Fetching Tags.

Down the road with Smooch and Alex

Today's music is "Eight-Paw Waltz" by Tim Neumark.

A meet and greet with Alex and Steve

It was mid-morning Friday, and Alex and I were headed down the driveway for a walk.

Apparently, turtles must smell because Alex followed her nose into the grass

 and found him long before I saw him. We ran back to the house to get the GoPro.

Let the guessing games begin

Alex and I ran into a neighbor yesterday, 

who of course asked me, "What kind of dog is she?" 

I gave my standard reply – "Valencia County Terrier."

However, in a few weeks, I should have a better answer 

because today I'm mailing Alex's DNA to the lab.

Since probably half the dogs in Valencia County, New Mexico, are pitbulls 

and the other half are Chihuahuas, logic says Alex must be half of each.

We'll see. My money is on a little bit of Chihuahua, maybe some Jack Russell Terrier,

a smidgen of pitbull mixed in with some generic hound dog,
and I won't rule out a bit of Boxer.

On the left, Alex at 11 weeks and 10 pounds; on the right, Alex at 23 weeks and 19.8 pounds.

 

On the left, me at 3,312 weeks and no way would I ever publish my weight.

Same goes for on the right.

(this calculator is so useful)

p.s. If you weren't around in November 2010 for Smooch's DNA test results, here's a link.