The Midnight Confessions Movie Show #16: "The 2016 Christmas Special!"

Join Moronic Mark and yours truly as we talk over another clusterfuck of Christmas crap! Happy Holidays!






Hey, did you know we have a podcast? Because of course we do. Be sure to check out the Midnight Confessions Podcast...

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We're now on Stitcher! - Stitcher Version

Moronic Mark's Satan's Screener on YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/user/moronicmark

Reverend Phantom's blog:
http://www.reverendphantom.com

The Midnight Confessions Movie Show #15: "The Devil Master (1977)"

Join Rev. Phantom, Moronic Mark and myself as we talk over THE DEVIL MASTER (aka THE DEMON LOVER). This movie has it all: Blood, boobs, sacrifices, a karate dojo, a Sasquatch/demon hybrid, lots of mundane talking, Leatherface with a perm, donuts, a rubber band, a curvy man in a dress, loud talking, LOUD NOISES, Paul from Cheers, Frank Zappa’s dimwitted clone, people with incredibly annoying voices and much, much more!




What IMDb says it's about: A group of teenagers hanging around a cemetery get involved with a satanic priest who calls up a demon from hell. (Ok...sure.)






Hey, did you know we have a podcast? Because of course we do. Be sure to check out the Midnight Confessions Podcast...

Like "Midnight Confessions" Facebook Page: Midnight Confessions Podcast

Follow us on Twitter @MC_Podcast!

Subscribe on iTunes! - Midnight Confessions

Visit our archive stuff - MC_PodcastVault

We're now on Stitcher! - Stitcher Version

Moronic Mark's Satan's Screener on YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/user/moronicmark

Reverend Phantom's blog:
http://www.reverendphantom.com

The Midnight Confessions Movie Show #14: "The 2015 Christmas Craptacular!"

Join the Midnight Confessions Crew as we talk over a clusterfuck of Christmas crap! Happy Holidays! 






Hey, did you know we have a podcast? Because of course we do. Be sure to check out the Midnight Confessions Podcast...

Like "Midnight Confessions" Facebook Page: Midnight Confessions Podcast

Follow us on Twitter @MC_Podcast!

Subscribe on iTunes! - Midnight Confessions

Visit our archive stuff - MC_PodcastVault

We're now on Stitcher! - Stitcher Version

Moronic Mark's Satan's Screener on YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/user/moronicmark

Reverend Phantom's blog:
http://www.reverendphantom.com

The Midnight Confessions Movie Show #13: "Hands of Steel (1986) aka Atomic Cyborg"

Join Rev. Phantom, Moronic Mark and I as we talk over HANDS OF STEEL aka ATOMIC CYBORG. This movie has it all: Cyborg assassins, sweaty truck drivers, John “Motherfuckin” Saxon, Dr. Butcher M.D., Garfield, shitty graphics, Hillbilly Jim, arm wraslin’, acid rain and tubes…lots and lots of tubes. Where do they go? What does it all mean? Why? WHY?

What IMDb says it's about: A cyborg is programmed to kill a scientist who holds the fate of mankind in his hands. He fails and hides in a diner in a desert run by a woman who likes him. The people who sent him are after him and so is the local arm wrestling champ. (Well shit. Is that what it was about?)






Hey, did you know we have a podcast? Because of course we do. Be sure to check out the Midnight Confessions Podcast...

Like "Midnight Confessions" Facebook Page: Midnight Confessions Podcast

Follow us on Twitter @MC_Podcast!

Subscribe on iTunes! - Midnight Confessions

Visit our archive stuff - MC_PodcastVault

We're now on Stitcher! - Stitcher Version

Moronic Mark's Satan's Screener on YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/user/moronicmark

Reverend Phantom's blog:
http://www.reverendphantom.com

The Midnight Confessions Movie Show #12: "Heavy Metal Massacre (1989)"

Join Rev. Phantom, Moronic Mark and I as we talk over HEAVY METAL MASSACRE (1989). This might be the holy grail of bad movies, folks—and I’m using the word “movie” lightly. If long shots of people doing nothing, scenes of nothing and someone playing with camcorder effects for an hour and twenty plus minutes is something you’re into, well this “movie” is for you. Remember that movie THE NEVERENDING STORY? Remember 'the nothing'? This “movie” is the nothing and there ain’t no furry flying dragon gonna’ save your ass from it. You have been warned!

What IMDb says it's about: A killer goes on a killing spree at a heavy metal club. (No…it’s about nothing.)






Hey, did you know we have a podcast? Because of course we do. Be sure to check out the Midnight Confessions Podcast...

Like "Midnight Confessions" Facebook Page: Midnight Confessions Podcast

Follow us on Twitter @MC_Podcast!

Subscribe on iTunes! - Midnight Confessions

Visit our archive stuff - MC_PodcastVault

We're now on Stitcher! - Stitcher Version

Moronic Mark's Satan's Screener on YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/user/moronicmark

Reverend Phantom's blog:
http://www.reverendphantom.com

The Midnight Confessions Movie Show #11: "Aenigma (1987)"

Join Rev. Phantom, Moronic Mark and I as we talk over Lucio Fulci’s AENIGMA. This movie has it all: A birdlady in a coma, Gerard Depardieu in drag, a female soul-patch, oily sex, Ronnie James Dio as a cleaning lady, Boston college students without a hint of accent to be found, Tom Cruise, Snoopy, Yoda and snails….SNAILS….SsSNnNnAaAIiILlLSsSsS!!!

What IMDb says it's about: The spirit of a comatose teenage girl possesses the body of a newcomer to her girls boarding school to enact bloody revenge against the elitist, lingerie-clad coeds responsible for her condition. (blah, blah, blah did we mention lingerie-clad coeds?)





Hey, did you know we have a podcast? Because of course we do. Be sure to check out the Midnight Confessions Podcast...

Like "Midnight Confessions" Facebook Page: Midnight Confessions Podcast

Follow us on Twitter @MC_Podcast!

Subscribe on iTunes! - Midnight Confessions

Visit our archive stuff - MC_PodcastVault

We're now on Stitcher! - Stitcher Version

Moronic Mark's Satan's Screener on YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/user/moronicmark

Reverend Phantom's blog:
http://www.reverendphantom.com

The Midnight Confessions Movie Show #10: "Back to School Special"

Join Rev. Phantom, Moronic Mark and myself as we talk over a classic After School Special entitled What Are Friends For? accompanied by two "educational" short films. It’s funny how some things designed to educate young minds can scar you for life and these films will do just that. Want to see a young girl with down syndrome learn about her period? Want to see a girl high on acid murder a hot dog? Want to see pre-teen girls have a voodoo ritual in a bathroom? Of course you do, you sick freex!

What IMDb says it's about: Two 12-year-old girls going through a divorce make a pact never to divorce their friendship. (A pact using demonic forces...they forgot to mention that)




Hey, did you know we have a podcast? Because of course we do. Be sure to check out the Midnight Confessions Podcast...

Like "Midnight Confessions" Facebook Page: Midnight Confessions Podcast

Follow us on Twitter @MC_Podcast!

Subscribe on iTunes! - Midnight Confessions

Visit our archive stuff - MC_PodcastVault

We're now on Stitcher! - Stitcher Version

Moronic Mark's Satan's Screener on YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/user/moronicmark

Reverend Phantom's blog:
http://www.reverendphantom.com

The Midnight Confessions Movie Show #9: It's Alive! (1968)

Join Rev. Phantom, Moronic Mark and myself as we talk over IT'S ALIVE! This is not the more famous Larry Cohen movie about a monster baby. No, this one features less monster babies and more sexy Grandma’s with irritable bowel syndrome. It also has a murderous pig man, a rubber suited monster that doubles as a racist stereotype of WW2 Japanese people, a flashback that goes on forever…and ever….and ever….and ever….and ever….and ever…


What IMDb says it's about: In this sci-fi film a loony farmer finds a prehistoric monster hiding in a cavern on his land. To feed his newest critter, the farmer kidnaps three people. The three desperately try to escape and finally, one of them succeeds….one of them succeeds at telling the longest flashback in the history of film as well.




Hey, did you know we have a podcast? Because of course we do. Be sure to check out the Midnight Confessions Podcast...

Like "Midnight Confessions" Facebook Page: Midnight Confessions Podcast

Follow us on Twitter @MC_Podcast!

Subscribe on iTunes! - Midnight Confessions

Visit our archive stuff - MC_PodcastVault

We're now on Stitcher! - Stitcher Version

Moronic Mark's Satan's Screener on YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/user/moronicmark

Reverend Phantom's blog:
http://www.reverendphantom.com

The Midnight Confessions Movie Show #8: The Psychotronic Man (1979)

Join Rev. Phantom, Moronic Mark and myself as we talk over THE PSYCHO-TRONIC MAN. This movie has it all: A sleepy barber, aliens....maybe(?), loud music, loud sideburns, driving, 35 MPH chase scenes, all the parts of Chicago that no one has any interest in, a vomit inducing sex scene--did we mention it has driving? Well it's got dancing too. It also has a fat cop that won't stop eating because that funny...right? RIGHT?!


What IMDb says it's about: A man discovers that he has psycho-tronic powers--the ability to will people to die. He begins exercising that power....and he drives a lot.




Hey, did you know we have a podcast? Because of course we do. Be sure to check out the Midnight Confessions Podcast...

Like "Midnight Confessions" Facebook Page: Midnight Confessions Podcast

Follow us on Twitter @MC_Podcast!

Subscribe on iTunes! - Midnight Confessions

Visit our archive stuff - MC_PodcastVault

We're now on Stitcher! - Stitcher Version

Moronic Mark's Satan's Screener on YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/user/moronicmark

Reverend Phantom's blog:
http://www.reverendphantom.com

The Midnight Confessions Movie Show #7: Escape From Galaxy 3 (1981)

Welcome to episode No. 7 of Midnight Confessions Movie Show. Join Rev. Phantom, Moronic Mark and I as we talk over the sci-fi abortion known as, ESCAPE FROM GALAXY 3 (aka STARCRASH 2).

This movie has it all: stupid costumes, christmas lights, things that go pe-too pe-too, things that go wheeeeerrrrr, things that explode, things that fly by the screen really fast so you can’t see how much of a cheap effect it is, awkward sex, a race war apparently, people that really need to wear pants, a song where a woman that bellows “I love yooooooooooo” and much much more.

IMDb says this film is about:
The crew of a space ship confronts an evil (and fabulous) galactic ruler out to rule the universe.




Hey, did you know we have a podcast? Because of course we do. Be sure to check out the Midnight Confessions Podcast...

Like "Midnight Confessions" Facebook Page: Midnight Confessions Podcast

Follow us on Twitter @MC_Podcast!

Subscribe on iTunes! - Midnight Confessions

Visit our archive stuff - MC_PodcastVault

We're now on Stitcher! - Stitcher Version

Moronic Mark's Satan's Screener on YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/user/moronicmark

Reverend Phantom's blog:
http://www.reverendphantom.com

The Midnight Confessions Movie Show #6: Night Fright (1967)

Welcome to episode No. 6 of Midnight Confessions Movie Show. Join Rev. Phantom, Moronic Mark and myself as we talk over one of the worst movies of all time, NIGHT FRIGHT. [Not to be confused with FRIGHT NIGHT, that really good vampire flick from the 80's]. This movie has it all: hair helmets, parking, driving, middle-aged teenagers, a framed cock, three-point turns, waiting, more driving, more parking, a bald-headed gorilla doing the Humpty Hump, people with orange skin, people with red skin, white people trying to dance, French Stewart, more driving, more waiting, even more waiting and well...that’s about it.


IMDb says this film is about:
A government space experiment into the effects of cosmic rays on animal life goes horribly wrong, creating a mutant monster that terrorizes a rural community [...by doing the Humpty Dance].




Like "Midnight Confessions" Facebook Page: Midnight Confessions Podcast

Follow us on Twitter @MC_Podcast!

Subscribe on iTunes! - Midnight Confessions

Visit our archive stuff - MC_PodcastVault

We're now on Stitcher! - Stitcher Version

The Midnight Confessions Movie Show #5: Scream Bloody Murder (1973)

Welcome to episode No. 5 of Midnight Confessions Movie Show, where the MC Crew are talking over SCREAM BLOODY MURDER (1973). A movie where the 70's decor is scarier than the movie's killer. This movie has it all: tractor homicide, a dog neutering gone wrong, a manchild with a hook hand, mother issues, acid freakouts, the Tall Man from PHANTASM with glasses, a kung fu Grandma, drunken sailors, shitty paintings, an avocado green bedspread, daytime television torture, an Artist Supply store, angry food spitting, aggressive urban candy salesman, oral phone sex and much, much more.

The Midnight Confessions Movie Show #4: Death Machines (1976)

It was reviewed on the podcast last year, but Reverend Phantom and Moronic Mark now do a bit of riff commentary on 1976's DEATH MACHINES. As for the lack of subtitles for Dragonlady's dialogue - well, I'm sure the boys are very sorry about that. Enjoy the show!

The Midnight Confessions Movie Show #3: Memorial Valley Massacre (1989)

Welcome to episode No. 3 of the Midnight Confessions Movie Show. Join Rev. Phantom, Moronic Mark and myself as we watch 1989's MEMORIAL VALLEY MASSACRE. If you were ever curious about what happened to the Feral Kid from MAD MAX 2--well here is your answer. Sad really.

IMDb says the movie is about this: Campers on a holiday are terrorized by an axe-wielding maniac. (Yeah that's about covers it)

The Midnight Confessions Movie Show #2: Action U.S.A. (1989)

Welcome to episode No. 2 of the Midnight Confessions Movie Show. Join Rev. Phantom, Moronic Mark and myself as we endure this 80's cheese fest--er, we mean classic. Who knew Freddie Mercury was such a bad ass?

Midnight Confessions Movie Show #1: For Y'ur Height Only (1981)

Here's the first episode of the Midnight Confessions Movie Show. The Rev, Moronic Mark and I pretty much do "commentary" for the very fun FOR Y'UR HEIGHT ONLY. We had a blast watching this and recording our first impressions of the film. Hope you have a blast as well!

[Satan's Screener] Child Bride (1938)

 

My buddy, Moronic Mark [of Midnight Confessions Podcast fame], has returned after a long hiatus to continue his journey of watching some of the worst films ever to save his soul. Unfortunately, his return is for a film that almost broke Mark - 1938's controversial CHILD BRIDE. Watch as Mark deals with watching this infamous movie in his own quirky way. You're a braver man than I, Mark.

My 5 Underrated Horror Films [Video]

Something totally random: A video response to Justin's [Rhine1988] Deadly Blessing DVD YouTube contest, in which I have to list my 5 horror films that I feel are underrated and should be talked about more. What are yours?

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013) [Video Review]

DIRECTED BY
Tommy Wirkola

STARRING
Jeremy Renner - Hansel
Gemma Arterton - Gretel
Famke Janssen - Muriel
Pihla Viitala - Mina
Derek Mears - Edward

Genre - Action/Comedy/Supernatural/Witches

Running Time - 88 Minutes


Here's Tommy Wirkola's take on a classic fairy tale starring Jeremy Renner, Gemma Alterton, and Famke Janssen. While fun, silly, and a big budgeted B-movie, this film could have used more sugar when it came to the screenwriting department. Pretty much a rental. Just dumb popcorn entertainment and nothing more.

Video Review: The Thing (2011)

DIRECTED BY
Matthijs van Heijningen Jr.

STARRING
Mary Elizabeth Winstead - Dr. Kate Lloyd
Joel Edgerton - Braxton Carter
Ulrich Thomsen - Dr. Sander Holvorson
Eric Christian Olsen - Adam Finch
Adawale Akinnuoye-Agbaje - Jameson
Jorgen Langhelle - Lars

Genre - Horror/Science Fiction

Running Time - 103 Minutes


I do my thing about THE THING (2011). And watching THE THING (2011) is not such a bad thing. So watch this video thing about THE THING (2011) and tell me what you think about this thing.

Thingy thing thing. (: