Lunar Cycle - September 2025

Since I don’t have as much time to write longer reviews than I used to, I figured I would just post shorter reviews for horror/cult films that I feel deserve your attention.

Director: Francis Lawrence 

Starring: Cooper Hoffman, David Jonsson, Garrett Wareing, Tut Nyuot, Charlie Plummer, Ben Wang, Judy Greer, Mark Hamill

Genre: Horror/Science Fiction/Thriller

Run Time: 108 Minutes

Plot: 

In a dystopian, alternate-America ruled by a totalitarian regime, 50 teenage boys take part in a deadly annual walking contest, forced to maintain a minimum pace or be executed, until only one survivor remains.

Review: 

Based on a 1979 Stephen King novel of the same name [under his pseudonym Richard Bachman], THE LONG WALK was passed around for a long time before this film adaptation was actually filmed and released. From George A. Romero in 1988, to Frank Darabont in the 2000s, to both New Line Cinema and then eventually Lionsgate for the actual release, this adaptation for such a simple story took its sweet time getting its moment in the spotlight. And it was definitely worth the wait, as THE LONG WALK is one of 2025’s best horror films.

There’s not much to say about the film without really spoiling what happens [for those who didn’t read the novel, which I’m sure is quite a few], but THE LONG WALK is very well-made visually and tightly structured from a narrative standpoint. It’s a simple story with a group of young men walking for their survival in order to gain money and a single wish. And Francis Lawrence’s direction captures that really well, as the film isn’t all that stylish or distracting with unnecessary visual effects. From what I understand, the film was shot chronologically meaning the day scenes and the night scenes were all environmentally legit - which is a great touch and convincingly showcases the characters’ struggle to keep going during each day of the walk. While the death scenes are shot well and are visceral, considering how close we get to the characters and their stories, that wouldn’t happen if Lawrence just lets the story and the actors do most of the work for him, elevating a pretty simple point-and-shoot affair.

And boy - are the actors really great here. While each of the young men contribute something to the narrative, whether we grow to love them or despise them, the film is strongly carried by the central duo of Cooper Hoffman and David Jonsson. Considering his father has passed away in the story, it’s easy to see Hoffman using the pain of his own paternal loss [the late, great Philip Seymour Hoffman] as a catalyst for Ray’s motivations to win the walk. And Jonsson has become a young actor I’ve been really enjoying onscreen lately, carrying himself with the charisma and confidence of someone beyond his years. And an unrecognizable Mark Hamill as The Major adds some ironic humor to a serious story, bringing much needed levity.

I wish THE LONG WALK had done better at the box office. But considering how non-flashy it is, it’s easy to see why many would probably wait until digital or streaming to check it out. And I hope audiences do when the time comes because it’s a super solid Stephen King adaptation that deserves a cult status in years to come. THE LONG WALK has the endurance to be in my Top 10 of 2025 Horror Films for sure.

SCORE

3.5 Howls Outta 4

(9 out of 10)

Director: Justin Tipping

Starring: Tyriq Withers, Marlon Fox, Julia Fox, Tim Heidecker, Jim Jefferies

Genre: Horror/Mystery/Supernatural/Sports

Run Time: 96 Minutes

Plot:

After suffering a potentially career-ending brain trauma, Cameron Cade receives a lifeline when his hero, legendary eight-time Championship quarterback and cultural megastar Isaiah White, offers to train Cam at Isaiah’s isolated compound that he shares with his celebrity influencer wife. But as Cam’s training accelerates, Isaiah’s charisma begins to curdle into something darker.

Review: 

Maybe besides TRON: ARES, no other trailer really got me hyped for a film like 2025’s HIM. For one, it was produced by Jordan Peele, who has had a great track record since joining the horror genre. Two, we rarely get horror films involving sports, making it stand out. Plus, a bonkers Marlon Wayans in a serious role? Sign me up as this couldn’t fail.

Yeah… about that. Man, talk about cinema disappointments of the year but HIM is definitely Him when it comes to that description. HIM is a film with so many ideas and so many things it wants to be and wants to say that it ends up saying not much at all. Watching this with one of my best friends who is more of a football fan than I am [even though I do watch and follow], I feel he got more of a commentary than I did. Yet, he felt the same disappointment that I did. What is this film about? CTE? Drug use in sports and how hard men have to live up to a certain status as they get older? Daddy issues and the shadow of the patriarchy? The rumors that the Illuminati controls how the sport is run with a cult-like mentality? There’s so much going on that I was pretty overwhelmed and underwhelmed at the same time watching this. 

I felt the first half of the film was the more interesting portion, as it seemed to focus on Cade’s struggle to live up to who his late father wanted him to be. He sacrifices his individuality and his own health to achieve his [and/or his father’s dream] to be a pro football player. Cade even gets to train with Isaiah, who is his hero - yet, at the same time, his rival and the man he’s supposed to replace because of Isaiah’s age catching up with him. There seems to be a slight tug-and-war in how the two interact. It looks friendly on the surface, but Isaiah obviously has nefarious plans for Cade with randomly taking blood from him, giving him mystery drugs and even strange training where other players are brutally punished for missing plays. You start to feel for Cade a bit because you realize this isn’t exactly what he signed up for.

But then it starts becoming more supernatural and the film goes into a tired direction I had expected and was really disappointed by. Let’s say it goes from grounded to BLACK SWAN or a mixture of THE SUBSTANCE with MIDSOMMAR. The film becomes so surreal that it just loses its way towards a predictable ending. What do these random images mean? Why is the pacing so weird? And is that really the answer to the mystery [which I pretty much predicted]? I was more frustrated than entertained.

What saves HIM is that Justin Tipping directs a beautiful film that makes interesting and sometimes breathtaking visual choices. A lot of the film feels like a Jordan Peele homage in terms of framing, editing and sound choices. But Tipping lacks the restraint and voice that Peele does, making the film kind of a visual mess as it goes along. With so many random images popping up, you’re just wondering what they have to do with anything. I don’t think even Peele could have saved this visually, as the script feels like a first draft that needed another edit.

The cast is probably the highlight of HIM. Tyriq Withers holds his own in the lead role, making the best of whatever’s thrown at him. Julia Fox and Jim Jefferies add some quirkiness and humor to the surrealism. But Marlon Wayans is the standout here, stealing the spotlight from Withers in every scene. I like seeing Wayans in serious roles because he obviously has range, which HIM definitely proves. He’s sympathetic. He’s manic and out-of-control. He’s sometimes terrifying. And he’s great.

If you’re a Marlon Wayans fan, then HIM may be worth checking out. He’s really the only reason to see this, despite a game cast and interesting visuals that fall apart due to a script that needed more edits and doctoring. It’s nice seeing more sports-centric horror films though, as HIM shows a lot of promise but never lives up to its Game Day potential. 

SCORE

2 Howls Outta 4

(5 out of 10)

Director: Renny Harlin

Starring: Madelaine Petsch, Richard Brake, Rachel Shelton, Gabriel Basso, Froy Gutierrez, Brooke Lena Johnson

Genre: Horror/Thriller/Slasher

Run Time: 96 Minutes

Plot:

When The Strangers learn that one of their victims, Maya, is still alive, they return to finish what they’ve started.

Review:

For those who read my review for THE STRANGERS: CHAPTER 1 last year, you knew how much I hated the reboot for a franchise that didn’t even warrant one. The characters had no agency. The lead characters were two of the dumbest, most useless protagonists I’ve seen in a horror film in a very long time. And even when action happened, it wasn’t all that exciting. CHAPTER 1 felt like a weaker retread of the 2008 film. In fact, CHAPTER 1 was my Worst Film of 2024 in any genre.

So of course, I watched THE STRANGERS: CHAPTER 2 because I was so excited for it.

Yes, that was sarcasm if you couldn’t tell.

I will say this for THE STRANGERS: CHAPTER 2: the trailer gave me slightly more optimism than CHAPTER 1’s trailer did. I knew CHAPTER 1 would be terrible from the trailer, but at least CHAPTER 2 seemed to have more action, stalk-and-slash and an interesting side story that hadn’t been done in the franchise yet. I wasn’t expecting greatness but even a sequel that ended up being “mid” would have been enough for me. 

Calling THE STRANGERS: CHAPTER 2 “mid” would be extremely generous, as this sequel is just an extension of last year’s garbage. Our Final Girl still lacks a bit of agency, despite what happened to her and knowing the threat that’s coming for her. The new characters add absolutely nothing to the movie, with some not even getting more than a single scene before they’re taken out. The backstory for two of the Strangers, while welcome, still manages to be fairly generic and done better in many other movies. And the script tosses so much random and weird stuff for our leading lady that I’m wondering if anyone read the script before thinking it was okay to fund and film this. Like seriously… who are these movies for?

That being said, CHAPTER 2 at least tries to be better than CHAPTER 1. The opening hospital sequence, while not HALLOWEEN II, is at least an attempt to create tension and thrills as the Strangers chase Maya within the building. Yes, Maya still makes really dumb choices or doesn’t react to much at all at times. But at least she’s fighting back stuff and taking some control of the situation whenever the film sees it fit. 

There’s also a random scene in the middle of the film involving a CGI wild boar that attacks Maya for, like, five minutes that had the entire audience laughing at how ridiculous it all was. This scene honestly should have made me walk out of the theater and demand a refund on my AMC A-List Membership. But it was so random and so bizarre that I wish more of CHAPTER 2 was this weird. At least it would have shown that Renny Harlin and/or whoever had a say in this project was willing to take wild chances that would have given CHAPTER 2 a reason to exist and be memorable. This is, without a doubt, the thing I will take away from this movie and I can’t hate this sequel for that.

While Renny Harlin does infuse the film with more tension, action and strange CGI animals, nothing Harlin does visually can save an awful and sloppy screenplay. The film looks polished and the opening sequence has promise. But Harlin has directed so many better films than this and there’s nothing stylish about this film that makes it stand apart from any other horror film of this kind. 

The actors really try here and I feel bad that they’re in this movie. Madelaine Petsch is way better here than she was in the previous movie. But the script makes her character so dumb and frustrating that I keep wishing for the Strangers to end her journey sooner than later. Richard Brake gets nothing really to do as a shady sheriff [his role seems bigger in, sigh, CHAPTER 3] and Gabriel Bosso is creepy but it never really goes anywhere. Like, at all. These actors could have had interesting characters. But I couldn’t tell you what made any of them sign up for this besides a nice paycheck. 

Saying CHAPTER 2 is better than CHAPTER 1 is like saying that Chlamydia is better than Herpes. While just a tiny bit better, it’s still an awful sequel that only fans of this franchise or anyone who has to see every horror film ever made [like me] should give any attention to. And yes, I’ll be there to suffer through, sigh, CHAPTER 3. I’m hoping the third time’s the charm, but I’m not holding my breath.

SCORE

1 Howl Outta 4

(3 out of 10)

Director: Mercedes Bryce Morgan

Starring: Maddie Hasson, Alex Roe, Marco Pigossi, Andra Nechita

Genre: Horror/Thriller/Comedy/Mystery

Run Time: 94 Minutes

Plot: 

A couple’s romantic vacation at a secluded lakeside estate is upended when they are forced to share the mansion with a mysterious and attractive couple. In this darkly hilarious and seductive horror story, a dream getaway spirals into a nightmarish maze of sex, lies, and manipulation, bringing terrifying secrets to light and triggering a bloody battle for survival.

Review:

With a title like BONE LAKE, you’re expecting a horror film involving a lot of sex. Or at least, a film sort of making fun of sexual exploits in a horror-comedy fashion. The trailer, which would play every time during the previews for the past month or so, had me intrigued with its teases of salacious manipulation and promise of some sort of sex-thriller that we’ve haven’t really seen much of in mainstream horror since the 1990s really. Luckily, I was able to see this before its wide release date to see if the film lived up to what the trailer promised.

Unfortunately like most trailers, they swerve the audience in presenting one thing but giving you another. BONE LAKE is no exception, as it’s a film that’s not the sex-thriller romp I was expecting. While the opening scene does have both male and female nudity and there are sexual scenes once every blue moon, BONE LAKE is pretty conservative for the story it wants to visually tell, making it somewhat of a disappointment of something more interesting. It’s not unlike anything you could watch on a Lifetime or on a Tubi - a messed up game involving two random couples who just end up at the same lakeside estate due to a double booking. But as the film rolls along, one of the couples seems to be much more than they appear, making their own rules and manipulating the other couple for reasons that are revealed in the final act. The revelation, which I was indifferent to, will probably divide audiences - although I did feel like it made one of the couple’s motivations to be at the estate interesting enough.

So while the story is pretty basic and predictable, I did think Mercedes Bryce Morgan’s direction had some style to it, while the visuals popped with vibrant colors [even at night] and with, of course, some nice eye candy for everyone. The use of special effects for the horror elements and gore are done surprisingly well for an independent flick. There’s an opening kill involving an arrow through someone’s testicles as they escape [the audience popped for that one] and there are a bunch of amputations during the film’s final act involving an axe and a chainsaw [a bit of an EVIL DEAD tribute in particular moment]. Not a bad looking nor badly paced feature.

The actors are fine. Maddie Hasson looks like Florence Pugh and is quite good as the more conservative Sage. She has nice flirtatious chemistry with all of her co-stars, regardless of gender. Alex Roe plays the attractive and manipulative bad boy, Will, having the film’s more humorous moments. Andra Nechita brings sex appeal as the seductive Cin, while Marco Pigossi plays, what some may call the Beta Male, Diego perfectly. Since the film focuses on such a small cast, I thought these four actors did what they could with the simple and expected material to not make it boring. So kudos to them.

Honestly, I was expecting BONE LAKE to be more provocative and sleazy considering what the trailer teases. But it’s just a predictable and fairly conservative mystery that’s not all that sexy, scary or laughs-out funny. But it entertained me for 94 minutes and I was along the ride to see how it would all end. A theatrical watch could be a tough one, but definitely a good time on streaming.

SCORE

2.5 Howls Outta 4

(6 out of 10)

The Damned (2024)

THE DAMNED (2024)

Directed By: Thordur Palsson

Starring: Odessa Young, Joe Cole, Siobhan Finneran, Rory McCann, Turlough Convery, Lewis Gribben

Genre: Horror/Drama/Mystery/Supernatural

Running Time: 89 Minutes

Plot:

A 19th-century widow is tasked with making an impossible choice when, during an especially cruel winter, a ship sinks off the coast of her impoverished Icelandic fishing village. Any attempt to rescue survivors risks further depleting the starving villagers’ supplies.

Review:

In 2024, the movie season started with the terrible NIGHT SWIM - one of the several Blumhouse disappointments of 2024 that I don’t even remember or even want to rewatch. Fortunately things picked up throughout the year, but man did 2024 start out rough.

At least 2025 is kicking things off slightly strong with the independent horror film, THE DAMNED - a film I knew nothing about before blindly buying a ticket for it yesterday. Didn’t watch a trailer for it. I never looked at reviews. I just wanted an excuse to go to a theater, considering it’s a dead weekend, and this seemed like the only choice.

THE DAMNED has some good things going for it. The acting is pretty solid, especially lead Odessa Young. The cinematography by Eli Arenson is strikingly beautiful. Considering the film takes place in Iceland, you definitely feel the cold while admiring the gorgeous snowy location. And director Thordur Palsson crafts such a layer of a bleak and moody atmosphere that it would give Robert Eggers a chub the size of Nosferatu’s dong. 

I also liked the themes of grief, guilt and isolation throughout, which is represented when the characters start seeing apparitions that may or may not relate to some local legend that haunt those who have sinned in some way while at sea. But then you start wondering if the ghosts even exist or is this all psychological due to hunger and cabin fever. THE DAMNED wants to create this rollercoaster of emotions for the characters, which really comes into fruition during the third act.

It’s a shame that the narrative is so thin and not all that interesting. The characters, besides Young’s “Eva” and Joe Cole’s “Daniel”, are pretty interchangeable at times. Hell, I don’t even know their names and I just watched this movie. The first act is pretty strong, but once the inciting incident happens, the middle portion of the film is such a slow burn that you’ll end up falling asleep. I personally had trouble keeping my eyes open during this portion. Thank goodness for those jump scare stingers to keep me from napping. And there are some unresolved things in the story as well that I wish were explained or explored more.

There’s even a twist at the very end that I’m on the fence about. The twist itself is not overly surprising, but there’s no real resonance when it happens. Certain characters react to it but then, the film just rolls into the end credits. Instead of feeling the effects of the reveal, you’re just left telling yourself - oh, that happened.

But THE DAMNED is a beautiful looking film that may please those looking for a slow burn horror-mystery with a short runtime. Just be in the mood for it and drink a lot of caffeine in case your eyes get drowsy during that middle portion. Worth checking out if this is your bag. Better start for the year than NIGHT SWIM at least.

SCORE

2.5 Howls Outta 4

(6 out of 10)

Thanksgiving (2023)

DIRECTED BY

Eli Roth

STARRING

Patrick Dempsey - Sheriff Eric Newton

Nell Verlaque - Jessica Wright

Addison Rae - Gabby

Jalen Thomas Brooks - Bobby

Milo Manheim - Ryan

Rick Hoffman - Thomas Wright

Gina Gershon - Amanda Collins

Tomaso Sanelli - Evan

Gabriel Davenport - Scuba

Jenna Warren - Yulia

Karen Cliche - Kathleen

Ty Olsson - Mitch Collins

Genre - Horror/Slasher

Running Time - 106 Minutes

PLOT

An axe-wielding maniac terrorizes residents of Plymouth, Mass., after a Black Friday riot ends in tragedy. Picking off victims one by one, the seemingly random revenge killings soon become part of a larger, sinister plan.

REVIEW

Back in 2007, Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino released a double-feature called GRINDHOUSE - an unfortunate box-office miss but a huge cult classic that showcased Rodriguez’s PLANET TERROR and Tarantino’s DEATH PROOF, as well as fake trailers that ended up being discussion points all their own. Probably the most popular trailer was for Eli Roth’s THANKSGIVING, a homage to old school slashers focused around popular holidays. It gained enough buzz that Roth teased it would become an actual film.

For a while, hope for a THANKSGIVING movie lost traction as Eli Roth was more focused on other projects either as a director, actor or producer. But soon enough, Roth confirmed it was happening and we started getting photos and footage of the production. So after 16 years, THANKSGIVING was finally released in time for the actual holiday. But was it worth the wait or a total disappointment?

I can happily say that not only is THANKSGIVING worth the wait and a very cool slasher movie, but it’s also one of Eli Roth’s best films - at least his best one since probably CABIN FEVER. THANKSGIVING is a slasher that knows what it is, playing as a old-school whodunit slasher rather than your modern self-aware slasher film like SCREAM. And honestly, that’s actually refreshing in this modern horror scene. I was happy to see archetypal characters hitting those expected tropes, with a nice bit of depth to each of them as well. Add in a mystery to our Killer Pilgrim and we got ourselves a fun, little slasher flick here.

I appreciated the simplicity of the story, as it’s your typical revenge slasher film where the mysterious killer is targeting the protagonists due to being part of a sin, or crime, that the killer feels must be dealt with. In THANKSGIVING, the first ten or fifteen minutes involves a Black Friday event gone really wrong, as frustrated customers rush into a store for a free waffle iron while pushing, attacking, trampling and killing random people inside the store. One of the victims is a close friend of the killer, causing them to want vengeance on a bunch of teenagers who snuck into the store [the Final Girl’s dad owns the establishment].

Unfortunately, I figured out the killer’s identity right when the inciting incident happened. But the film does play it smart in making a few of the characters red herrings. The Final Girl Jessica has two love interests - one who was injured during the Black Friday incident and disappeared for a while before returning, and another who has money and looks down at some of her friends - both who have motive. The former manager of the store makes it known he wants to take the corporation down, especially since his wife was murdered during Black Friday. We have the owner of the store [Jessica’s dad] and his greedy new wife. We have the Sheriff of the town who was there. We also have an A-hole jock and his more heroic A-hole jock friend. There’s also a new Deputy who doesn’t mind wearing the Pilgrim mask from time to time. The characters have enough depth beyond their archetypes to give each one of them reason to want revenge on what happened. 

And the film plays out like an old school slasher should. We have characters acting stupid and doing dumb things that get them into trouble. We have characters who seem villainous who are actually misunderstood. We have characters who seem heroic but are just hiding secrets that relate to the Black Friday fiasco. There are side characters who are just there to increase the body count. And there are some great murder sequences - including someone getting baked inside a giant oven, impaled through the head, sliced in half by a dumpster and even fire. Some of the kills from the original 2007 trailer do make it in, like the Thanksgiving Parade decapitation. The trampoline scene is here, but it’s done differently and not as impactful. And no human turkeys get sexually assaulted, as times have changed since 2007. I do wish the double decapitation bit from the trailer was included though, as that was some of the funniest stuff in the trailer. But this version of THANKSGIVING plays things more seriously, so I can understand why it’s not included.

To say that THANKSGIVING is Eli Roth’s best looking and most polished film is an understatement. There’s a confidence here, as Roth probably had this film playing in his head for almost two decades, knowing exactly what shots he was gonna do and how he was going to visually play the story out. The gore looks great. The flow is pretty much exceptional. There’s actual tension and suspense. And when humor is used, it’s actually pretty funny. Roth also uses locations well, making them characters of their own. And as you watch, it’s obvious he was inspired by other slasher films. The opening is a take on the opening scene of the original HALLOWEEN. The Thanksgiving Parade is straight out of 1997’s I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER. There’s a Thanksgiving dinner scene that’s obviously a homage to 1981’s HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME. And we have a love angle that seems to be inspired by 1981’s MY BLOODY VALENTINE. Just really cool how Roth incorporated all of this to make a fun throwback slasher.

The cast is good as well. Nell Verlaque is solid as Jessica, the Final Girl who is smart and aware of bad things when they happen. Verlaque is sympathetic and likable. Patrick Dempsey returns to horror as Sheriff Newton, portraying a convincing authority figure who sometimes seems over his head when it comes to the slashings. Jalen Thomas Brooks is good as Bobby, Jessica’s returning ex-boyfriend. While he comes across as reliable and likable, some of Brooks’ actions for his character make you question his true motives. Same goes to Milo Manheim as Ryan, Jessica’s current boyfriend who seems to have a chip on his shoulder, making you wonder what his deal is. Addison Rae, Gabriel Davenport and especially Tomaso Sanelli are good as Jessica’s friends - especially Saneilli, who plays a jock who you wouldn’t mind getting picked off for how he behaves and treats other people. And it’s always cool to see character actors like Rick Hoffman and Gina Gershon in supporting roles.

THE FINAL HOWL

THANKSGIVING is worth the 16-year wait, as it plays by the old school slasher rules and has a good time doing so. With a solid cast and your typical whodunit slasher mystery, the movie ends up being a fun ride due to archetypes that have a bit more depth than expected, wild gore sequences and a strong use of locations and set pieces that build a lot more tension and atmosphere than I was expecting. It’s also nice to see an engaged Eli Roth direct one of his best movies in his filmography, playing homage to many familiar slasher movies while putting his own twist on each one. The film looks good, the pacing is solid and the humor actually works in the movie’s favor. Plus, this John Carver villain has a great look and could be a cult icon if the film becomes more successful to create a franchise out of. THANKSGIVING doesn’t reinvent the slasher wheel and the villain’s identity is pretty easy to figure out, which took away the mystery aspect for me. But overall, I had a lot of fun with a movie I’ve been waiting a long time for and it didn't disappoint for the most part. THANKSGIVING will probably be an annual movie tradition for me every end of November.

SCORE

3 Howls Outta 4

(8 out of 10)

Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021)

DIRECTED BY

Darren Lynn Bousman

STARRING

Chris Rock - Detective Zeke Banks

Max Minghella - Detective William Schenk

Samuel L. Jackson - Marcus Banks

Marisol Nichols - Captain Angie Garza

Daniel Petronijevic - Detective Marv “Boz” Bozwick

Genre - Horror/Mystery/Thriller/Crime

Running Time - 93 Minutes

PLOT

Working in the shadow of an esteemed police veteran, brash Detective Ezekiel “Zeke” Banks and his rookie partner take charge of a grisly investigation into murders that are eerily reminiscent of the city’s gruesome past. Unwittingly entrapped in a deepening mystery, Zeke finds himself at the center of the killer’s morbid game.

REVIEW

With the return of the SAW franchise with SAW X this weekend, I’ve been going back and rewatching the entire franchise from the beginning. If you’ve been following this blog for many years, you know I’m a big fan of the first three films, as well as the surprisingly solid SAW VI [the one dealing with health insurance]. The rest of the installments stem from being a bit above average to just dull or awful, with convoluted storylines and messing with the timeline to repetitive effects. While not many loved it, I thought 2018’s JIGSAW was a step in the right direction after the awful SAW 3D, which wrapped things up in a clumsy, cheap note. But the film didn’t set the box office on fire, so Lionsgate decided to go into a different direction for the series’ ninth installment.

2021’s SPIRAL: FROM THE BOOK OF SAW is the only film in the franchise I hadn’t watched prior to rewatching every single film in the series this month. It’s not like I didn’t have a curiosity about it. After all, getting both Chris Rock and Samuel L. Jackson in a SAW movie will pique anyone’s interest. What amazes me is that SPIRAL was an idea by Rock himself, being a huge SAW fan and wanting to contribute to the franchise by taking things into a different direction while still maintaining elements that make the franchise what it is. Jackson joined because horror wasn’t a genre he was specifically known for and wanted to try things he hadn’t done. Other actors, who were fans of the franchise, won out roles that weren’t meant for them by impressing Lionsgate executives.

With this much level of care and focus, you’d think SPIRAL would kick off a new era for the SAW series with some self-contained stories not involving John Kramer aka “The Jigsaw Killer”. Making SPIRAL more of a police procedural and mystery with “torture porn” elements included should have brought new life into a franchise that was, let’s be honest, long in the tooth by this point and had pretty much milked itself dry. Unfortunately, SPIRAL had a few things going against it.

One, it was released in the summer of 2021. Theaters had just started to really open again after COVID-19 had pretty much shut everything down for over a year. People were still too scared to head inside a theater with other people, feeling a movie was not a good reason to get a life-threatening illness - especially when vaccines had just started to roll out for it.

Two, there probably wasn’t much interest in another SAW film at the time. Despite the stunt casting and a new take on a tired story, fans probably figured they could just wait until the film hit streaming and digital. 

And three, SPIRAL isn’t that good of a movie. Critics were mixed on it. Fans didn’t really have much positive feedback to provide. And after watching it, SPIRAL is a film that has a ton of potential and interesting ideas, but doesn’t really know what to do with any of them.

After two years of hyping myself to finally sit down and watch SPIRAL, I couldn’t believe how disappointed I felt once the film concluded. There was so much potential here to make the film something special within the franchise. Considering the capable cast, a returning director who helmed two of the best entries in the series, and a good idea to reboot a tired franchise, SPIRAL should have been better than it actually is. While I don’t think it’s the worst entry in the series [it’s super close though], even the worst movie [SAW 3D] had a goofy, awful charm about it that makes it sort of rewatchable. I don’t think SPIRAL even has that, despite the film being better made.

Let’s get the good stuff out of the way. I appreciate and respect the fact that SPIRAL wants to be its own thing, while taking what was established into a new direction. It’s definitely the right move to make, considering that the main villain has been long dead and all these apprentices that were never revealed until the story finds it convenient just makes the newer installments lesser than the films that came before it. Having a copycat Jigsaw killer with their own puppet, going after corrupt cops for a believable reason that’s revealed in the final act, is a fascinating idea that could have set up several films. You can kind of understand the villain’s motives, which could have been extended into other movies if SPIRAL had done better. While the script itself isn’t great, the narrative idea is interesting and should have elevated the franchise.

I also thought the traps, while not as elaborate as previous ones in the SAW series, weren’t too bad. Considering this was a copycat who wanted revenge on crooked police officers, there is less focus on morality and trying to help others appreciate their lives. So these traps were definitely intended to really hurt, or even murder, the victims. I thought the first trap with the tongue was good, especially the gory aftermath. I even liked the glass one near the end. The rest were fine, I guess. The wax one was kind of lame, but the trap that stretched out parts of the body was an interesting concept. These were probably the weakest traps in the entire series, but I like the intent for each one.

I also thought some of the cast were good in their roles. Samuel L. Jackson was probably the best, playing a subtle version of the role he usually plays. He’s not in the film a whole lot, but makes the most of every appearance. And his acting in the film’s final act is pretty good. I also liked Riverdale’s Marisol Nichols as the police captain. She had the right mix of toughness and vulnerability that made her believable. And Max Minghella was good as the rookie detective who unfortunately gets caught up in this whole copycat scenario. He carried himself well for the most part.

As for the rest, what the hell happened here? The screenplay is not good at all, with cringey dialogue and the biggest group of unlikable characters I’ve seen in this series yet. Despite Chris Rock’s Zeke supposedly being the protagonist of the film, he comes across as bitter, overly angry and just a person you would never want to know. I understand bad things have happened to him due to his crooked co-workers, but there’s no sympathy for a man who acts like a jerk to pretty much everyone. Even when he’s given choices to be a better person, he still acts like a prick. If Rock had intended his character to be the main hero of a new trilogy or something, then I’m glad SPIRAL didn’t do well at the box office.

Let’s not even talk about his co-workers, who all hate Zeke for snitching on one of their own. For police officers, they only care about themselves and their brotherhood rather than doing the right thing and helping their lead detective solve the mystery of a new serial killer ruining lives. None of them are likable, always acting or looking shifty as hell. In fact, most of the detectives in this franchise seem like the worst people to know in this universe. None of these characters have any depth either, which makes me not care about any of them. The only likable person is the rookie Schenk, because he genuinely cares about solving this mystery and listens to Zeke to make that happen. It makes him stick out from the rest.

It also doesn’t help that you can solve the mystery within the first half hour of the movie. I pretty much called who the new Jigsaw was pretty early on, with only the motive being questioned. For a movie trying to build a mystery and shock its audience with a twist in the final act, it’s very underwhelming when you call it almost at the start. I thought the motivation and reasoning for the copycat was pretty good, but I wish I was more surprised by who it was.

I also thought Darren Lynn Bousman’s direction wasn’t all that good either. I’m really surprised since I enjoyed his previous films in the franchise, as well as REPO! THE GENETIC OPERA. But I wasn’t feeling it here. The editing is really weird, especially the ending of the film that pissed me off so much, I actually lowered the original score I was planning on giving this movie. The most action-oriented scenes don’t feel exciting. The traps aren’t shot in a way that would make you cringe or feel a certain way other than pretty bored. There’s like no tension or suspense at all, which is terrible for a mystery-thriller. I thought the gorier stuff was shot well and the quieter moments were stronger than most. But as a complete movie, it felt very off to me. Maybe that was intentional to make it feel separate from the main SAW films while maintaining its position as part of the series. I just found Bousman’s direction bland, which is alarming because I think he’s one of the better directors to work on this franchise. 

As for Chris Rock, I really wanted to like him in the main role of Detective Zeke. But I think he tried too hard to be this bad ass cop that it made his performance unintentionally amusing for all the wrong reasons. When he tries to act tough, it doesn’t feel real. It’s like he’s doing a skit on Saturday Night Live or something. His attempts at humor feel really dated. A TWILIGHT joke, really? In 2021? Even when he tries to act afraid, something about it just comes across as phony to me. I do think he has good moments with Marisol Nichols, Samuel L. Jackson and Max Minghella, only because he’s acting natural in those quieter one-on-one scenes. While I appreciate Rock for wanting to be part of a series he loved and his attempt to create something fresh to keep the franchise going for a new generation, I think he was severely miscast in the lead role. 

And despite being part of the SAW series, I thought SPIRAL felt pretty tame considering having traps that were more gruesome than the ones in JIGSAW. At least JIGSAW had a constant energy going for it, keeping me engaged the entire time. SPIRAL seems to be figuring out its own identity throughout its runtime, which doesn’t make for a pleasant experience watching it.

THE FINAL HOWL

Despite a capable cast, a director who helmed two of the better installments, and a story idea that could have been the focus of future entries if it had succeeded commercially, SPIRAL: FROM THE BOOK OF SAW just comes across as a massive disappointment. I respect Chris Rock and Lionsgate for wanting to take the series into a new, fresher direction while maintaining what makes the franchise what it is. I appreciate the producers for wanting to build a new mystery that builds on The Jigsaw Killer. While probably the weakest traps in the franchise, I still like most of the concepts and thought the aftermath of each were pretty memorable. And some of the actors [Samuel L. Jackson, Marisol Nichols and Max Minghella] were quite good in their respective roles.

But man, SPIRAL has a disappointing mystery you can solve within a half hour of the movie. Ninety-five percent of the characters are so unlikable, including the film’s really frustrating main character, that you don’t care about any of them. Darren Lynn Bousman’s direction isn’t the greatest either. With odd editing, no suspense or tension [this is a thriller, right?], and an ending that made me so angry that it caused me to lower my original score, this is surprisingly not Bousman’s best turn as a filmmaker. And Chris Rock, despite him trying to play things as serious and tough as possible, just doesn’t come across as believable as a detective who is trying to solve a crime without much help from his crooked co-workers. This is one of the biggest miscasts for a lead actor I’ve seen in quite a while.

Thankfully the hype and positive reception to SAW X has kept my appreciation for this franchise intact, because SPIRAL almost destroyed that once those end credits rolled. Close to the worst film in the series, as far as I’m concerned. The epitome of wasted potential.

SCORE

1.5 Howls Outta 4

(4 out of 10)