I’ve been doing a lot of thinking abut 2009 and 2010. What happened? What have I learned? What do I want out of this next year?
The answers have been somewhat surprising.
This time last year I was eight months pregnant and anxiously (miserably) awaiting the arrival of my second baby, Dresden, wondering how it was going to affect my life, my family, and my writing.
My goals for 2009 were centered on the desire to get something ready for submission, to overcome weaknesses, improve my blog, and generally just survive as a mother of two.
I feel like I failed in my writing goals, for the most part. I didn’t write anything I was comfortable querying, nothing I loved enough to polish, and rewrote the first half of one novel so many times it would make you puke.
But some wonderful things did occur this past year. I started Agent Spotlight and my blog sort of blew up. I joined SCBWI, Publisher’s Marketplace, spoke with agents who loved what I was doing, had people interview me (1, 2, 3), and became thoroughly ensconced in the writing and kidlit community. Not to mention had that baby (late!), got married, became a reader for a lit agent, and yes! survived as a mother of two, and managed all that I wanted to manage and more.
Despite not achieving my main writing goals for the year, there’s a lot to celebrate there, so I’m dubbing 2009 “The Year of the Blog.” Lit Rambles has been a vehicle for much love and success, and 2009 has been absolutely amazing if I stop and try to count all of its blessings.
And all of you are among those blessings! That’s a lot!
For this next year, one would probably expect me to keep on trucking towards the goals I didn’t achieve in 2009, and in some ways I will, but there is something that is going to set the pace of 2010, and there are some things I’ve realized that will really affect my goals.
Things, things, things.
This year I find myself anxiously awaiting something come January again. Not a baby, thank goodness, but school.
Yes. I’m going back to school, continuing my education. And I find myself pondering the same questions. How is school going to affect everything? Can I manage? What will suffer?
Family, House, Work, School, Interning, Writing, Blogging, Spotlights, Reading, Critiquing, Networking, Socializing, and so on and so forth, and all those other things that happen in a natural year.
That’s what I’m looking at having to manage in 2010.
I have a feeling something is going to fall to the wayside or have to go away completely, if not more than one thing, and it’s not going to be my family or house, of course! But what? I can’t imagine letting any of that go.
So I’m not going to just yet. I’m going to remain optimistic and see how I handle it all, but there are some things that do need to change slightly. Namely, my attitude, my main goals, and one of my blog features.
See, in all this thinking I’ve been doing, I realized something big. I went about my writing goals all wrong in 2009. I was focused on word counts and finishing and submitting and succeeding. It was all hurry, hurry, more, more, now, now and I lost sight of the goals that really matter to me.
I honestly don’t want to publish just to publish. If I’m going to do this, I want to publish novels that I love absolutely and can get behind 100%, novels that mean something to people, that matter. If I can’t do that, consider me out of the running. I don’t think I could handle the pressures of being a published author under any other circumstances. And as much as I hate to admit it, I don’t think I can write those kinds of novels yet, YET, but I AM happy to know this about myself.
Which brings us back to goals.
I have to stop focusing on word counts and getting to the finish line and get back to focusing on craft and quality. I have to stop all this hurry, hurry, more, more, now, now and go back to being satisfied with the slow, steady climb to my cloud of dreams.
So, my friends, I won’t be focusing on word counts this year, I won’t be doing writing challenges, and I won’t be doing NaNoWriMo. Yes, that means I won’t be doing Wednesday’s Words either. It’s been an amazing tool this past year, and I appreciate every one of you that has participated and encouraged me, but I’ve decided it's not what I need anymore. However, if you'd like me to keep posting WW for you, I’d love to do that, and I’d love to keep encouraging everyone that has been a part of WW in the past. Just let me know in the comments. I might put it up occasionally, anyway, to keep you updated on my writing. I just won't be keeping track like I was.
So… after all that, what are my goals for 2010?
1) Manage school with everything else.
2) Learn to prioritize better.
3) Focus on craft and quality.
4) Be a source of support and encouragement for all of you.
5) Allow this writing thing to take as long as it needs to.
Now, how about you? Have you given much thought to the past, present, and future? Have you considered that you might be focusing on the wrong things, and letting the rush, rush get to you? What did you learn in 2009? What are your plans for 2010?
Please answer one or all these questions or tell me something else entirely. After reading my (long) ramblings, I’d love to know what’s on your mind!