Certain words are so dull to their core,
They induce me to beg: “Please, no more!”
“Nonetheless” makes me sore.
I’ll go further — full bore:
Let’s take “furthermore.” Say it? I’ll snore!
Archive for the ‘Behavior & Personality’ Category
Wordy Limerick
Tuesday, September 9th, 2025The Hoarder (Limerick)
Friday, July 25th, 2025Keeping order’s impossibly hard
When your husband, a hoarder, stands guard
To ensure “priceless” crap’s
Not thrown out while he naps.
So my odds of success? Not one shard!
The Flunky (Limerick)
Saturday, June 28th, 2025A young man who’s employed as a flunky
For a funky, eccentric old junky,
Is often confused
And even bemused
By commands like: “Make things dory-hunky.”
NOT “Mr. Personality” (Limerick)
Saturday, May 31st, 2025An old man (who just died) was an ass;
Rather nasty and given to sass.
He, alas, wasn’t tactful.
His gibes were impactful.
(NOT packed full — his funeral Mass.)
The Naïf (Limerick)
Wednesday, May 14th, 2025“You’re too trusting! Stop being naive!
You’ve been conned. You’re a snap to deceive.
I can tell from one look
That your boyfriend’s a crook.
Your credulity’s hard to believe!”
Bad Audition (Limerick)
Tuesday, May 13th, 2025A fine actress who’d hoped for the lead
In an upcoming film failed to heed
The advice from her spouse,
Who had warned, “Never grouse
At auditions and don’t read on speed!”
Clutter Conflict (Limerick)
Tuesday, April 8th, 2025An old fellow who’d putter all day
Would refuse to throw refuse away.
When his wife tried to deal
With his clutter, he’d squeal
As he rescued his rubbish array.
The Pissed-Off Boss (Limerick)
Sunday, April 6th, 2025“You are constantly spouting some beef,”
Said his boss. “It’s non-stop. No relief!
Your complaints (mostly petty)
Don’t stick. They’re spaghetti.
Do your job and stop giving me grief!”
Boorish Limerick
Saturday, March 29th, 2025An old boor who believes that he’s hot
Is considered decidedly NOT.
He’s called “too cool for school”
And an “arrogant fool
With less charm than your average bot.”
Haiku Trio
Monday, January 6th, 2025My Wordy Admission (Limerick)
Friday, December 27th, 2024I’ll admit it: I’m one of those nerds
Who enjoy learning obsolete words,
Like “forswunk” which (I’m told)
Means exhausted. I’m old
And yes being forswunk’s for the birds.
The Shrieker (Limerick)
Friday, May 17th, 2024A young woman who talks a blue streak,
Has a voice that’s a maddening shriek.
But although she is yappy,
Her hubby seems happy.
(It must help that the man’s an antique.)
My Skewed Views (Limerick)
Friday, May 10th, 2024When instructed to “Look over there”
At an elephant, artwork, or chair,
I will look the wrong way,
At some other display.
Will I see what I’m meant to see? Ne’er!
I don’t mean to look elsewhere, I swear.
Yet perversely, I can’t help but stare
To the left, when the right’s
Where I might see the sights
That my hubby’s attempting to share.
Hyper Pete (Limerick)
Wednesday, May 8th, 2024“I’m exhausted,” said Pete. “Must unwind
And relax, to escape from the grind.
I’ve been moving non-stop.
On a couch I should plop,
But I can’t: That’s not how I’m inclined!”
*****UPDATE: CURRENT LIMERICK-OFF DEADLINE EXTENDED INDEFINITELY***** (See Details Below in my May 29th Comment.) Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SLIP or SLIPPED at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: New Date TBA)
Saturday, May 4th, 2024It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SLIP or SLIPPED at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to DECEIT, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best DECEIT-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
BOTTLE, DARK, GUITAR, RELEASE, SCOLD.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa, and use any other variant of the random words. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on June 2, 2024, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, June 1, 2024 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my SLIP or SLIPPED-Rhyme Limerick:
The young oboist tried not to slip
While adjusting her reed; a small snip
Was essential — that’s all!
The reed cracked! Did she bawl?
No, she still kept a stiff upper lip.
And here’s my DECEIT-Themed Limerick:
You have taken advantage of me,
Yet again, said a gal to “pal” Leigh.
I’m feeling abused,
Betrayed and misused,
And I’m betting a court will agree.
You’ve frequently borrowed my spouse
To repair things that break in your house.
It appears that “repair”
Is code for “affair.”
How dare you have sex with that louse!
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
Do not bottle up feelings, we’re told,
But that sort of advice leaves me cold.
Were my feelings released
I’d turn into a beast;
An express-it-all, ornery scold.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
The Dancer (Limerick)
Monday, April 29th, 2024A convivial fellow from France
Took the stage and performed a short dance.
He was graceful and masked.
“Did you like it?” he asked.
Though most clapped, I said, “Next time, wear pants!”
Happy “International Dance Day!” (April 29th each year)
The Moper (Limerick)
Wednesday, April 24th, 2024A fellow who frequently mopes,
Moaned, “Ev’rything dashes my hopes!”
He even bewailed
A self-hanging that failed:
“The NEXT time, I’m learning the ropes!”
A Hairy Tale (Limerick)
Friday, April 19th, 2024I went gray at a premature age,
But embraced it and hoped to look sage.
For a lawyer sans penis
Back then? Mars v. Venus!
Young, female, and short — NOT the rage!
A Critical Difference (Limerick)
Thursday, April 18th, 2024Though it’s rare that I cavil or carp,
And on errors, I try not to harp,
I am ditched by my filter
When pitch is off-kilter;
My critique will be harsh — flat-out sharp!