Drunken Limerick 
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A guy who was drunk and lacked smarts…
Here’s mine:
Drunken Limerick (Drunken Limerick Audio)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man who was drunk and lacked smarts
Was playing a bar game of darts.
His dart throw went wild
And he injured a child.
He should stick to a card game like hearts.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
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Tags: Accidents, Bars, Card Games, Darts, Drinking Limerick, Hearts, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
A guy who was drunk and lacked smarts
Surprisingly broke many hearts
Gals would claim he was hot
Though he clearly was not
They just liked his house in St. Barts
A man who was drunk and lacked smarts
Was trying to get rid of some warts
The barmaid said, “It’s
Just a couple of zits,
Don’t you know that from Liberal Arts?”
A man who was drunk and lacked smarts,
Thought himself a modern Descartes.
“I exist cuz’ I think.”
“I don’t smell, but I stink,”
He is full of more than just farts.
A man who was drunk and lacked smarts
Was trying to light up his farts
The noxious explosions
Caused burst of emotions
He’s lucky he kept all his parts
A guy who was drunk and lacked smarts
Mistakenly thought he had parts
He made passes at girls
Who’d never give him a whirl
And railed that they all were just tarts.
A guy who was drunk and lacked smarts
would belch loudly in fits and in starts
He was in church you see
and when he dropped his rosary
he let go the most legendary of farts
These are great fun! Thanks and please keep them coming!
A guy who was drunk and lacked smarts
Wanted to increase his money parts
To show he was dumb
(As dumb as they come)
He got a degree – a bachelor of arts!
A guy who was drunk and lacked smarts
Doctored records, photos and charts
It all seemed so convincing
Yet the sane folks were wincing
This is how a bloody war starts
A guy who was drunk and lacked smarts
Fell into the sea at St. Barts
A small fish named Rose
Now lives in his nose
While hungry things feast on his parts
These creatures are thankful alright
Just ask the piranha named Wight
The guy was well-pickled
The fish are just tickled
They nibble then party all night
These are great fun! Thanks, and please keep them coming.
A guy who was drunk and lacked smarts
Feared he’d misplaced a few of his parts
So he lowered his drawers,
Got down on all fours
And fondled his newfound sweethearts.
A guy who was drunk and lacked smarts
Started his poems with farts
Though most of the time
They resisted to rhyme
He never gave up on his flatulent arts.
A guy who was drunk and lacked smarts
Could still prove a point of Descartes’:
“Though I’m tipsy and dumb,
‘Cogito ergo sum,’
And my sum counts for less than my parts.”
What a fun selection of limericks. Thanks! And I’m looking forward to more.
A guy who was drunk and lacked smarts
Fell in with mischievous tarts
Who bamboozled the guy
Into unzipping his fly
Then poured hot sauce on his tender parts.
A man who was drunk and lacked smarts
didn’t much care for darts
so he left the bar and got in his car
he cried in his beer and mourned his loss which was the passing of his uncle, Uncle Art
Well, the fellow was drunk and lacked smarts,
But his lawyer — well, he knew his arts.
In the suit that he filed,
Queried he, “Why’s that child
In a bar with some drunks playing darts?”