Waldorf & Parenting Conference April in CA!

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Turning the Morning Around

Sometimes a morning just looks impossible. Of course I have an ideal vision of what I want it to be - filled with smiles, gently stretching, perhaps a song and a prayer, good food and a sunny clean home. However, this morning started out to be anything but that! I had not been able to do the dishes because I was at a conference yesterday and our dishwasher was broken, we all slept in unti 11am for some reason and woke up very hungry, the kitchen table was filled with crafting supplies and I had not yet unloaded my conference props. The dog needed to go for a walk or go outside, the cats were hungry, I was aware that I was behind on a few consults and other work related items and it just all looked so impossible. Sofi wanted crepes and Sunii wanted pancakes and I didn't want either. We were all a bit grumpy. How was I going to get through the day?

When things get like this I have learned it is time to stop and focus on the present moment. So that is what I started out doing. I focused on what the immediate need was. We all needed to eat. So I went into the kitchen to clean the dishes so I could cook.

The second thing I do in such circumstances is that I look for creative solutions. The kids feel nurtured when I cook for them and they are quite independant in some ways so I love to cook breakfast for them when I can. I am reluctant to give that up but I realize I need some help so I call out to the kids "Hey - you guys want to help?" Surprisingly they are overjoyed with the idea of helping and they want to do it all themselves. Cooking WITH me in the kitchen while I am also working and cooking together as a family is aparently much more fun than making one's own sandwich for lunch all alone.

So they both enthusiastically took over cooking. Sunii made pancakes and Sofi made crepes. She was very proud that she could actually do it. Crepes are hard to make and this is the first time she did it from beginning to end. The entire time we were chatting and I was doing dishes. The time passed before I knew it and the dishes were done and breakfast was ready.

After everyone was fed they were all in a good mood, including me. So, suggesting some more tasks was not hard. Sunii happily took care of his dog and Sofi happily swept the kitchen floor.

It is amazing how little it takes to get the house in order again. It seemed so impossible and only two hours later it looks like a home again.

We play a bit and talk a bit, Sofi decided she wanted to needle-felt a doll and Sunii decided to teach the dog some new tricks and then both children got invited to visit friends. That left me with two hours to finish my consulting and other work tasks. Not everything got done but at least I don't feel so completely behind anymore. I was full, the house was clean and everyone around me was happy. This meant that I was able to be very efficient in my work time.

Now, I look at the day and think about how ideal it was and is now. I am glad I didn't spend a lot of time worrying about it and just let it take its own course!

Toddlers and Homeschooling

I tried to find some old photos of my kids as toddlers working with the family but they are not digital yet. Although I did find this one of Sofi working with us building a "stage". We were all hammering so we gave her a plastic hammer (later I found a small wooden one at the store that really worked and of course she liked that better) and let her work with us.

A few people have posted to the WaldorfSchoolOnline@yahoogroups.com today about what to do with toddlers when we are homeschooling. I have have three children and was very happy with the method I learned from our first Waldorf parent-child teacher years ago. She taught me that toddlers want to do what we are doing. Since then I have experienced that in so many different ways.

It was an adjustment for me at first. I have always been an independent person and even traveled to Europe by myself when I was 15. So to invite another person to participate in what I was doing on a regular daily basis - many times a day - was a new concept for me. However, as is the case, our children are our teachers in life. My children taught me much about being "together". The following paragraph is taken from the Waldorf Initiative Handbook that I created for the parents at my Waldorf school years ago:

A toddler longs for rhythm, repetition and activities which feel safe. As a parent, you should continue on your daily rhythm or schedule and then slowly add a child, or two, or three within your daily activity. Contact other mothers while your toddler is napping and arrange a play date at the park, or some other place where there is freedom to move about and nature or animals to explore. They key is that this is a natural event. Being a part of regular activities which the child is used to is calming to the child. The mother doesn't need to feel stressed that she needs to make a certain appearance and that she is "locked in" to a set period of time. This makes everyone a lot more comfortable, and when you are more comfortable and stress free, you enjoy the time more. Up until about 20 years ago, most children this age spent all of their time at home with mother and siblings. Play dates and groups are a relatively new concept. The age appropriate behavior for a child this age is to observe and learn by modeling YOUR behavior. Toddlers don't want too many friends and pre-planned activities, they want to do what you do! They enjoy hanging on your hip or standing along side of you doing the dishes, the laundry, going to the market, etc. These daily activities are learning experiences and a joy for children of this age to participate in. Reassure yourself that there is plenty of time for friends and organized learning later. They will have the rest of their lives to socially interact with other children, and in a few short years, they will rather run off to play with children than to spend time at your side. Don't worry about your child getting socialized. The same way they learned to talk and walk, they will learn to play and be social.

This was so true with all three of my children. I learned to integrate them into whatever we were doing. If I was cooking I would give them some tools or a task (if old enough or if they asked). If we were doing crafting I would give them some yarn, if we were painting I would give them a brush with water (although now they have those "Buddha Board" things I think my kids would have LOVED those!), anything I was doing I would let them be part of it in some way. So it is hard to answer the question "what should I do with my toddler?" in specifics. It depends on what you are doing already. And it is hard at first, if you are not accustomed to this method of interacting (although I suspect some people who grew up in larger families have this skill naturally) but it gets easier and easier. And as you become more creative, so does your toddler. You will soon find yourself integrating them into your daily routine without even thinking about it!

One thing that did not work for me was to give them toys and expect them to play while I worked with the other child or doing the housework. They would play with the wooden cows or dolls for a minute or two and then leave them and come to see what I was doing. However, if I set up a nice play area for them and then invited them to come "work" with me, they would often tire of what I was doing and go to their own area and play for much longer. This is because the toddler needs to feel they are always welcome. When they feel you are trying to get them to do something else they will feel fearful. They are not sure why, all they know is they feel a separation and that causes anxiety. So if you let them know that the channels are always open - that they are not shut out in any way - they will make the decision to be on their own in their own time. The minute you welcome them, they will stop feeling anxiety and life will be much easier for both of you.

Of course there are so many lovely times when all you want to do is sit down with them and play with puppets or dolls or eat their "pretend food" they made for you on that wooden stove! However, they need to know that sometimes you play with them and sometimes they need to play with you. That is a concept that many adults still need to learn - LOL - so we would do well to teach our children when they are young.

I also talk a bit about this concept in the lecture "What is Waldorf: Rhythms and Stages" at:

www.TheWaldorfChannel.com

Click on "Webinars"

There is a ten-minute sample there that talks about this age of child.

Blessings & Health,

Kristie

www.EarthSchooling.com

My Child's Music

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Can You Do What You Ask of Your Children?

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The Yin and Yang of Homeschooling

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Cheeto Flames

So what do you do when you have one of those nutty health-freak moms that tells you not to eat Cheetoes? And your friend brings a bag over to snack on? And then you have free time to play so you build a fort and of course your fort needs a FIRE! Right? And the FIRE needs flames. Right?

I just went out to take pics of the kids forts and had to share this. It was just too funny!

Kristie

www.TheWaldorfChannel.com

Do you ever get that sneaking feeling...?

I always had this sneaking feeling that nobody in the house could function without me. The coats stay on the floor unless I remind people, teeth stay dirty unless I tell them to brush and the laundry is never picked up unless I point out that the floor is not visible. I come home from leaving them with someone else and it looks like a tornado hit the place, etc...then I told myself I was being paranoid.

They were fine without me. Sometimes Suni makes lunch when I am busy, sometimes they do pick up their toys and coats and things without me asking. And I think I actually hear somebody brushing their teeth now! But my hopes of an independant household were dashed this morning when I woke up and found 2 cats and a bunny patiently waiting and staring at me sleeping in bed.

Apparently they were waiting for me to feed them. There are three other people in the house who were all awake and they were sitting at the side of the bed staring at ME! I have no idea how long they were there. But it was a bit weird and definately confirmed my suspicions (LOL).

I confess RE: Waldorf Home Organization

OK, I confess, my kids never watched the "Homeschool Organization" video I uploaded to www.thewaldorfchannel.com

This is what my dining room looked like this morning and I have 3 questions:

1. How did coats get on the floor when nobody went outside since I reminded them to pick them up last time?

2. Why is there only one blue shoe on the floor (In the background)? Where is the other one????

3. Does a coat hook mean NOTHING to these children?

Love & Laughs,
Kristie

Response to "Letter from Santa"

I wanted to share with you all the response I received from my children when they received their "letter from Santa" in their stocking this morning (you can read it at: http://thedreamangels.blogspot.com/ )

I was a bit worried. I took a long time writing out the letter from the link above in long hand and I took great care to make it very neat and unlike my own handwriting. As I wrote it on parchment style paper I added bits and modified bits according to the letters the children had written to Santa. Then I rolled the letter up, put a bit of yarn around it and put it in the stockings with their toys.

But as I said, I was a bit worried...what kid wants to be told "the truth" about Santa on Christmas morning? But I just sensed this was the right thing to do. Whew! I was right.

Sofi read me the 4-page letter twice, picking out the parts she liked best. The letter explained that Santa is an angel spirit that inspires people. But Sofi insisted that Santa had "Possessed me" last night...hmm...I think I like my version better.

But, overall, she and her brother were overjoyed with the letter. It satisfied their need to know more about Santa and transitioned them from the "stories" to the "truth" in such a smooth way. I was amazed how well it was all received. I didn't get any comments of sadness or dissapointment or anything! They were so excited to have all the extra information that was in the letter. Sofi called up two of her friends and read it to them too. She was beaming all day and could not stop talking about it.

I am sharing this with you all because I am just so happy! This was a "big event" in my childhood (which did not go well for me as a child) and was a "big event" on my parent-hood adgenda. I am just so thrilled that everything went well. It was a dream come true! (I just wish I could say the same of EVERYTHING else on my parenting adgenda!)

- Blessings & Health & Happy Holidays
Kristie

The Magic Thread of Life...

My children's favorite question this week is "Can we open our gifts yet?"

My answer is --- do you want to hear the story of "The Magic Thread" again?

It is such a wonderful story! A great story for patience during the Solstice, Christmas season and a great story to inspire you in leading your life in the New Year!

It is in the "Book of Virtues" by William Bennet. You can also find it online at:
http://www.noogenesis.com/pineapple/magic_thread.html

Enjoy!
Blessings & Health,
Kristie

Sofi's Holiday List - Age 8.5

Dear Parents,

I asked my children to make a Holiday list for me..there are so many holidays and birthdays coming up that I wanted to make sure I purchased them gifts they would appreciate and not just "stuff". So this is Sofi's list. HELP???!!!

1. A new CD player
2. 100$ or 300$ or 1000$
3. A Perfectly Clean Room
4. A REAL Harry Potter robe
5. Long Hair
6. A Fairy - a REAL one
7. To see Santa and his workshop
8. To become a fairy when I put any fairy dust on me
9. Mosi Mandil (her sister who is living far away right now) my WHOLE LIFE.

A Story from the UK

A friend in the UK shared this story. I liked it so much I asked permission to post it here. I think we can all relate to this! Here it is:

AT times its a real battle here to avoid the world of TV and Computer. (Note: We are a multi generational family...My father lives with us and although he has his own annex, he watches the TV almost constantly, trawling the news channels and popping in to impart all that he has seen, and hubby is a musician which today means lots of Computer access) So I get really smug when I see DS playing in a very waldorf way avoiding all the high tec stuff.This morning I stood for an age watching him as he retold the story of Robin Hood using his Holztiger Knights, I was so pleased. A real puffed up moment , until I got close enough to hear his narrative.....Robin Hood was telling the Sheriff of Nottingham that if he did not like his treatment he should call him on his mobile. 087654678739 ( or a similar string of numbers) or goto his website.....

New Mama/Baby Sets

Dear Members,

I just posted some new mama/baby unicorn sets to Ebay - they are sooooo cute! You can see them at:

UNICORNS

or

http://stores.ebay.com/herbnhome_Unicorns_W0QQcolZ4QQdirZ1QQfsubZ12656590QQftidZ2QQtZkm

Thank you for looking :)

Blessings & Health,

Kristie