GOP’s Stunning New Realization: Women, Minorities and Workers are People Too

Republican leaders have been re-evaluating their campaign, soul-searching and trying to reboot their party’s image.  And in the process, they’ve reached some incredible new insights.

Republican Congressman Charles Bass — who was defeated on November 6th — stunned the audience with:

“Republicans have to start understanding that small business and entrepreneurs are important, but the people who work for them are also important.  We've got to be compassionate conservatives.”

Huh???  Workers, important?!?  But, I mean, eww, they’re dirty, they work with their hands, they don’t belong to country clubs and they don’t make campaign contributions.  And they’re part of that icky 47% that just mooches and whines for more handouts.  They’re takers!

Ron Kaufman, one of Mitt Romney’s campaign advisors, said:

“We need to make sure that we're not perceived as intolerant.  The bottom line is we were perceived to be intolerant on some issues. And tone-deaf on others.”

What???  No!!!  You mean we have to tolerate those godless uppity — oh, you’re just saying, OK, I get it now.  “Not perceived as intolerant” — Gotcha.  Read you loud and clear.  [wink]  It’s OK to BE intolerant and tone deaf, as long as the voters don’t pick up on it.  Whew!  Had me worried for a minute there.

Other GOP leaders pointed out that Republicans need to change the WAY they communicate their message.  Obama’s campaign was very good at talking directly to voters.  The Republicans’ top-down method of communicating — TV ads, direct mail — is less effective.  You’re talking at people instead of to them.

Yuck, we have to talk to them?  We don’t have to shake hands with them, do we???  I mean, some of them have dark skin, or their hands might be dirty from working at one of those messy labor jobs, or they might be homosexuals and we could catch… [shudder]

It’ll be interesting to see the GOP’s new outreach campaign toward Blacks, Hispanics and Asians.  At second thought, don’t go there.