Patterns

Thanks to everyone who gave me some reassurance after my last post. I do tend to be really hard on myself about a lot of things and most of the time I actually think it works for me. After all, if I had been easier on myself, I'd probably still be floating around back in my hometown, with no education, no art in my life, and probably with way more kids than I have now and either fewer or more husbands too. Heh.

The key is to know when to let up, I guess, and I am going to try and remember to do that before I make myself crazy.

Anyway, I did the above underpainting on Thursday afternoon. Then I did two more on Friday morning before I had to rush out of the house to have lunch with a friend, go to my daughter's basketball game and then drive back and forth between our house and town like a hundred times. So I will put the others up next week. I am not sure I like these, nor am I sure they will "turn out" but then isn't that the fun in all this? I enjoyed doing them, it was great having my hands in the paint again and I look forward to seeing what will happen here.

This one is on a birch panel, 20x24. I might pull out a really big panel next week and see what happens. Doug keeps telling me he wants to see them larger and I am starting to be able to see them at a larger scale too.

Mental Adjustments

Pink Side of the Road, 2008, Oil on Birch Panel, 16x20

I just wrote a whole thing about what a funk I have been in lately, blah, blah, blah. I realized that I have spent yet another day doing nothing in my studio and I am feeling disappointed in my lack of progress in the studio. Of course today I had a good excuse (snow day, kids home) but it seems like I am always making excuses.

Usually I prefer to beat myself up for not doing what I think I should be doing each day but I am giving myself a rare break from that tonight. So I deleted what I wrote (too depressing, even for me at this time of the day when I can be very pessimistic about everything) and will just try to work in the studio again tomorrow.

I should remember the story about the above painting: I did the underpainting for it (and the one I posted on Monday) last spring, way before I moved up into my new studio, before painting the walls, planting the garden and preparing small format paintings for a July show. I finally got back to the underpaintings in November and added the color, even though I had completely forgotten what I had had in mind for them when I started. But I love them, and maybe they turned out better than they might have if I had finished them right away.

I gave those two pieces very little thought all that time, but instead of bang, bang, banging them out, there was time and other experiences between the start and finish line. And now that I think about it, that is how I have been approaching the portraits too. Much more slowly, with time in between each step, but not a lot of consideration either.

Hmmm. Perhaps I need to reconsider my process just a bit, rather than giving myself a hard time about not painting like I used to, such a hard time that I can't even work at all.

My Road Map for 2009

Plaid Dress, Oil on Birch Panel, 12x16

Ahhhhh. The last day of 2008. But more importantly to me at this moment, it's the last day of the month, which means I am done with posting here every. single. day. Not that I have hated it, mind you. In fact it was fun, a good challenge and it also came at a good time. I was feeling a bit like I needed a break from the blog and now after posting so much, I feel energized about it all again, even if it has taken quite a bit of time each day. However, I feel great about the last month here-I had a birthday present contest, wrote a few sob stories a bit about my background, struggled with a decision about going to a residency and even participated in 100 Things, a meme going around in blogland which is the sort of thing I don't usually do. I do wish I had been painting more though, so I could have posted more new work.

The last half of 2008 was a slow time for me, I didn't have much, well anything really, going on show wise and even though I was trying to develop some new work I was pretty lackadaisical about it. I wanted to be busier but just couldn't be. I guess I just needed a break and it came at a good time, because looking back I see that I was getting pretty close to being burned out about art completely. As it is I am only close to being burned on painting landscapes, and I think I have even backed away from the edge of that by taking such a good long break from it all. On a more personal note, the slower time was really important for me to adjust to Ginger's diabetes as well. I have had time to research it, and get used to it all and I needed that. So I have no regrets about my less than productive second half of 2008, except that I wish I had spent more time enjoying it rather than feeling guilty about my productivity.

But now I HAVE to get moving! I have an exhibit schedule this year, as well as some goals to move my career along. I had a plan for all this which included spending a month at the Vermont Studio Center, however that was scrapped because of our personal finances. So I have rearranged things and in some ways it is much more practical for me to stay home and work in my own (new!) studio.

I am not making new year's resolutions exactly, and I don't usually like to talk about what I will do (I worry about jinxes) but I am feeling pretty excited about all this so what the heck. I have most of the coming year mapped out which will just so happen to start on January 1st, actually more like Jan. 5 which is when the kids go back to school, but whatever. This is what I have planned for the next three months:

1. I am taking the whole month of January to work on the figurative paintings. I have decided not to pursue new gallery representation based on my landscape work, with the possible exception of finding a new seasonal gallery, perhaps in Cape Cod again. I already have two galleries showing the landscapes/barns and I don't want to go back to doing quite so many paintings for so many different places and events (I still love painting the landscape and want to save myself from burning out on them).

To that end, I will finish 20 figurative paintings on panel in January and hopefully at least 15 of them will be good enough to send out in order to pursue new representation.

2. In conjunction with the figurative work I will do at least five monochromatic underpaintings on gessoed paper each week, of the figure, with the intent of leaving them as is, meaning no color glazes.

3. I will continue to paint 5-10 small paintings per week to sell on my other blog.

4. And even if it kills me to do it so early, I will put together all my tax info from 2008 by the end of January. It actually doesn't take that long, it's just one of the things I really tend to put off doing each year until the very last minute.

5. I will also spend an afternoon each week or so, working on some collage ideas I have which combine my painting with the photographs I have been collecting for the figurative work. I did some of this in college and it was something I never really pursued after. So naturally, that's all I can think about doing now. heh. Anyway, this is just a fun thing to do, something I didn't do enough of in the past when I had so much going on.

In February, I will have to shift gears a bit as I have a solo show in April to prepare for. So continuing on:

6. I will paint at least four landscape/barn paintings each week in February and March, with several being large scale (for me), 40x60 or so.

7. I will continue on with the figurative pieces, painting at least three per week (or possibly every other week since I don't have unlimited storage). These are most successful when I work in batches so I should have at least three going at a time.

8. I will continue with the monochromatic paintings, and will probably still try to do five per week. Once the paper is prepared and everything is set up, it is just as east to do five as it is to do one or two, so I may as well do as many as I can.

9. And this year, I plan to keep up with recording my expenses each month, instead of going back and digging out the receipts at the end of the year. It should be easier this year to keep up, since I am pretty well stocked for supplies, have no money to spend and don't plan to go anywhere or do anything. Might take me all of 2 minutes to do a bit of bookkeeping each month....

10. And also in February I will begin sending out my info to the list of galleries that I have been putting together that I think may be receptive to my figurative paintings.

I will suspend everything though in the last few weeks of March so I can finish everything up for the show that opens at the beginning of April. I have another show in August and will have to prepare for that in June and July, mostly June actually because the kids are out of school in July and I figured out a long time ago not to expect to be able to get much done when they are home on summer vacation.

Unless more exhibition opportunities come up, for the rest of the year I will work on finding a way to balance working on both figurative and landscapes. Both subjects need different things from me, but I am sure that if I keep working consistently I will be able to get better at doing both at the same time.

And because no list of resolutions goals is ever complete for me without including losing a few pounds and exercising more I will add that as well. I have let my exercise go in the last few years and even more in the last few months, so that along with a recent issue involving Lindt dark chocolate truffles means I need to get out for a walk each day at the very least. So a daily morning walk (and no chocolate)is number 11.

12. Ok, let's make it an even dozen while we here. I will have to post here just a bit less in 2009. When I started the blog I was pretty faithful about posting each weekday, but in the last 6 months or so I got a bit spotty with that. Not because I didn't have time, but because I didn't have so much going on, at least as far as making art goes. I was also feeling like I had told all my good stories and I wasn't too sure that I had much more to share. Like I said though, this last month helped me feel more enthusiastic about the blog again. BUT once I sit down at the computer to write a post, I tend to go on to other things and before I know it the day is almost gone and the school bus is coming up the road. So I will need to have at least a few days where I don't sit down at my desk first thing each morning. I have decided to post Mondays, Wednesday and Fridays, posts where I talk a lot (but don't worry, few will be as long as THIS post, thankfully:)). And if it turns out that the work I am doing is presentable, I will put up an image or two in between.

Well, this is my plan. Now that I have put it out in public, I will stick to it right? Um, right. Actually I feel pretty confident about this, I am excited about what I will paint and anyway I have a few tangible deadlines to keep me on track.

A quick comment about the piece shown above: I think it is one of the best portraits I've done so far. It has many of the elements that I want my portraits to have; a sense of reality, a few abstract qualities, somewhat disturbing emotions and good color. It also happens to be on my favorite support-birch panel. Coincidence? You decide...

Thanks for reading my little old blog here, and for sticking with me through this crazy post-every-day-for-a-month-thing. I am going to take a few days off now, but will be back on Monday, all ready to prattle on, and to paint too.

Happy new year, everyone!

Purse Lady

Oil on gessoed paper, 11x14

So I did manage to get quite a bit of painting done yesterday after all. I finally got the color on to three underpaintings that have been sitting here in the studio for nearly two weeks. The ones that have making me feel really lazy during this entire last week. You know, for trying to have a holiday without working in the studio.

I am still feeling giddy from last night's late night painting session as my true calling is to be a night painter! Alas, real life is suspended right now during school vacation and so the possibility of night painting will end next week when I must start my days before 6am which will render me totally unable to see clearly after 8pm, or 10pm if I am lucky.

Anyway, this painting shown above is the first one I did yesterday. It's another portrait of my favorite unhappy looking woman and I like this one much better than the first one I did of her a few months ago. Doug says it's a little creepy and somewhat disturbing and I take that as a high compliment.

And in other news (about me, of course, what else is there, heh) I got second place in Making a Mark's Best Portrait by a Female Artist. Thanks to everyone who voted for me! I really was excited to have this new work nominated, but I also think that the piece that did win "Zen" by Nicole Caulfield, deserved the top spot. I actually might have put "Paul" ahead of myself as well. Katherine has also awarded me the “Tales from the Frontline” Mention in Despatches / The “Amusing Musings” Trophy for 2008 in her end of the year awards and I am very excited to add a new trophy to my shelf full of 30 year old bowling trophies. Especially if it is a virtual trophy and not a shiny statue of a bowler with some sort of tacky, yet very glittery five inch high base.

Thanks Katherine, you have been so supportive of my art and also of my little blog here. I really appreciate it!

It Figures

It has not slipped my mind that I will need to be writing some sort of statement regarding the figurative work that I have been working on recently. At least if I want to do something with it, other than to continue tucking the finished pieces away in my flat file.

So I guess I'll start here on my trusty blog. The place where I can rattle on and on and maybe get some feedback too.

I was an illustration major back in college so there was a lot of emphasis on figure drawing. Endless hours of drawing from a model daily. I loved it but also hated it just a little bit, it was so draining. But my drawing skills were pretty good and got better and I still value that so it was all good. Later on, much time was spent on capturing likenesses, a pretty important skill if one hoped to work as an illustrator. we worked from life as well as from photographic reference and I did pretty well with both I think. Once I did a painting of Bette Davis (above) using a photo that had been printed somewhere. It was great fun to do, but I never really felt that I wanted to keep painting portraits in such a realistic manner. Even then it didn't feel right to me.

Around that time I got a hold of some my old family photos and became really intrigued with them. I was doing a lot of monochromatic paintings, which was actually the beginnings of the development of my current underpaintings, and so I began working from the images I had. Here are a few that I did right at the end of college, around 1988 or so.


Doug has always encouraged me to paint portraits, but when I began painting seriously again a few years back I didn't know what I wanted to say, although I had a lot to express. I fell into the landscapes by chance really, we had moved to this beautiful area and I figured I'd give them a try. About a year ago I started to really yearn to do something different and again Doug encouraged me to go back to portraits, and so I guess I just picked up where I had left off after college, deciding to work from photographs again as well. Not to faithfully interpret them, but to make my own interpretations, my own conclusions, my own stories about the photographs I collected.

In many ways the process of using a photographic reference for the figurative work is the same as how I use references in my landscape work. The photos are a starting point, a reminder, the beginning of a story that I can tell. The difference is that with the landscapes I mostly use my own photos, taken in a place that I have been, a place that I have experienced and have felt. Oddly, I have so far been unable to work effectively from photos that I have taken of people. Perhaps that will change in time but for now working from other family's old photos is something that is resonating with me and I will continue on in that direction for now. However, I view the process of interpreting the photographic reference as part of the painting process no matter where the photo originates. The process is still me and there are obvious similarities (palette, composition, drawing) no matter where the image comes from.

And a few more details. I am not interested in getting the likeness, although it is very tempting sometimes, especially if the photo is very appealing or if it is someone that I know in person. I am also not interested in doing commissions. I know this because when I was younger and was doing more realistic work, I did a few and it made me miserable. Few people are ever very happy with how they are represented by an artist and I couldn't handle feeling badly about how they felt. I suspect I have not matured much in that area and so will be refusing commissions, already I have been asked (casually) and I politely say no. Which brings me to the next point: I am not doing nice things to the people I work from! I am not making them more beautiful or more graceful or happier or better! I do hope to express though, my respect for their lives, their place in time and the relationships they have with others. There are also visual aspects that are important to me; color, form, looseness, patterns, the curve of a leg, the impressionistic drawing of a shoe, an arm, a hat, those are things that I love to be able to express.

So that's what I am thinking about this work. Of course, I try NOT to think too much, often thinking and planning messes me up. When I am actually working, hands and/or brushes in the paint, I am going on instinct and am not plotting out what I will do next. My work is really all about me and my instincts, for better or for worse, I suppose.

Go Vote!

Just a quickie here (heh) today. The above painting has been nominated (Tina Mammoser nominated me, thanks Tina!) for Best Portrait by a Female Artist in 2008 over at Making a Mark. Voting begins today, now and continues until December 30, and so if you have a few minutes maybe you can put in a good word for me. But if you see something you like better, go ahead and pass me over. I won't be offended at all, it's just an honor to be nominated. Really, I mean it. Anyway, I think I may be voting for the guy with the hair over mine. You'll see what I mean when you get there.

Hope you all have a nice day. I will be posting tomorrow too, probably with some sob story about Christmases past. In the meantime, I am off to bake about a gazillion sugar cookies.

Two More Underpaintings

11x14, Oil on Gessoed Paper

I got right down to business today in the studio. By 9am (!) I was at my easel working on the above underpainting. It was a tough one actually and took me much longer than I expected it would. Once it was done I spent some time on the computer, had some lunch, considered going for a walk, but decided to go back to the studio instead where I promptly wasted another hour or so on the computer (should have taken the walk, but at least now I know everything about Gene Vincent and I also learned that Tara Reid is heading to rehab-important stuff).

However I did finally get back to work and did another small-ish (12x16) underpainting (below). This one marks the first one in this series that I have done on my favorite surface-a birch panel, rather than the gessoed paper that I've been using for these. There were two reasons for the switch. First, I have been pretty happy with these so far and subsequently found myself stressing about how to possibly display them, frames, etc. They may never get to that point, but it was something that was bugging me every time I pulled out another sheet of prepared paper and using the birch panels just whisks all those worries away. The other reason, the real decider actually, was that I didn't feel like taping up another piece of paper onto a board.

Really it's true, I am just that lazy....

12x16, Oil on Birch Panel

Just Do It

22x30

Well, I did manage to finally get a new underpainting going. It took me all day to settle down and get to it, but I finally did. And as always, I enjoyed it so much that I have been berating myself for not working more on these. It's so hard for me to get started on each one. They are just really intimidating, I think.

I should probably put a big post it note on my studio wall (or maybe on the computer, that might be the real culprit here) that says "You will LOVE the process of making the underpainting, so JUST DO IT!

I Am Easy

Today is definitely a lame-o post. I don't even have any images to post so I have resorted to putting up a shot of the view from my studio window. Which is a nice view actually, and very wintery today as we have a snowstorm coming in. I suspect there will be no school tomorrow and unless we allow the kids to watch TV, I won't get much done in the studio either.

I have been itching to start some new portraits but haven't had a good block of time all week in order to do it. Wait, I did have some time on Wednesday, but the magnetic pull of my computer screen was too much for me and I frittered the day away, surfing and chatting. Much fun, but well, pretty lazy of me.

Ooh, I almost forgot! Tina (thanks, Tina!) was kind enough to nominate me for this which has given me a good boost in confidence regarding what I am doing with these figures.

So now you all know how easy I am. Just nominate me for an award and I start thinking I am the best painter chick ever. Heh.

More on the Lady with a Bunny

11x14

Well, now that my weekend birthday bash (heh) is over, it's time to get back to work!

I am still plugging away on the figures and plan to start a few new ones today. According to the family "master calender" in the kitchen, I will have many interruptions in the next few weeks, which is frustrating. However I can't help but feel that I deserve it after frittering away the last months when my schedule was relatively clear and I could have really made some progress on these. Bleh!

The lady and bunny painting is getting there. Initially the dress was pink (shown above), but Doug pointed out that it was very similar to her skin tones (the colors looked more similar in real life, I see that in this photo they don't look so close) and after quibbling with him a bit, I realized he was right. So I changed it to a light blue-ish (below) and I think it is working better, even though it looks a bit flat. Actually, I think it might be a draw, blue or pink, whatever, but there's no going back anyway, so I am going to keep the blue. I will go into it with some darks today, and I think that will do the trick.

If I manage to get some underpaintings done today, I'll put them up tomorrow. Got a few images on deck that I am looking forward to doing.

What's With the Feet?

22x30

Well here is another crappy photo of a recent painting of a couple. I am actually pretty happy with this one, wish it could be seen in person! Oddly, the man's feet make more sense in real life, and I have no idea why.

I did have some friends over today though, and my head is busting wide open from all the positive feedback I got on the figure paintings. More than a few people wondered how much they would cost and I had to pry some of the smaller ones that I did in Vermont last winter away from one couple. heh.

So this is good encouragement for me and fickle girl that I am, I now can't wait for Monday so that I can get back to work on them.

I Heart Zoe Strauss

2 Ladies, 11x14

Even though I have been on a budget lately, I admit that all that tends to go out the window when it comes to things like books and art. Well, and music, yarn, shoes and clothes that I like, oh and art supplies too. But I digress.

When a good art book comes along, I usually buy it whether I can afford it or not. I put my advance order in at Amazon months ago for Zoe Strauss's book, America, and finally! it came yesterday.

I have been a fan of Zoe's ever since I came across her blog a few years ago. Zoe lives and works in Philadelphia, not far from where I lived once in South Philly (I lived in an icky, but cheap second floor apartment in a rowhouse at 8th and McKean-THAT is certainly a good story for another post:)) and looking at her work is like being transported back in time for me. I love her blog too-her enthusiasm is infectious!

I spent some time looking through America last night and it is an amazing collection of photos. To me they feel familiar, like someplace I have been before; a place I might have enjoyed while I was there, but am glad to not be there anymore. Her portraits are disturbing, but are also oddly inspiring and hopeful. Zoe clearly has respect for her subjects, which is evident in her words and images. I am especially interested in the portraits as I recently read several books about Diane Arbus (whose work I am reminded of when I see Zoe's), and of course am trying to find my own way with painting the figure. Anyway, I hope you'll go check out Zoe's blog, she has had some awesome things happen lately, and definitely check out her book if you can.

I am posting the portrait of the two ladies that I recently finished. Unfortunately, these portraits seem to be incredibly difficult to photograph, they look SO much better in person, and I haven't titled any of them yet either. However I am quite pleased with the direction they are taking. and I will put the others up soon.

Things are Settling Down a Bit

Ok, just a little bit more about The Fine Art Department, then on to me, as promised:). There are nineteen artists up right now and I am waiting for info from several others (and you know who you are) which means it's pretty close to 25 already. So this means that if you submitted your info to me and it hasn't been posted, I have

a) decided not to include it on the site for any number of reasons, none of which reflect my opinions about quality (just want to make that point again). And

b) haven't had time to let you know personally and am not sure I will be able to, although I will try. I have to get back to my own work now that this is mostly up and running, plus I have much to do this week to prepare for Thanksgiving. I apologize.

I would like to suggest though, that perhaps someone out there who is reading this would like to set up a similar blog/site and if so, I will be happy to post about it here, link to it on The Fine Art Department, and offer any other assistance that I can. I appreciate the interest that so many artists have shown in my project and my intent still remains-encouragement, teamwork and opportunities for artists to sell their work, especially in order to get by in this slow economy. So feel free to contact me regarding that, I have a bunch of leads on artists who might like to participate!

Ok, now about me. heh. I have been busy with a bunch of stuff, art related as well as personal, mostly revolving around a backlog of laundry and house cleaning. I haven't been able to get a good chunk of time to get to the color yet on the figure underpaintings that I posted last week, but I think I might be able to get something done with them over this long holiday weekend.

Last Friday I did another larger sized underpainting (22x30) shown above. I was pretty excited about this one and was itching to do another one the next day, and even the next. However, I seem to be unable to do more than one each week or so no matter how much I'd like to do more. I think it's because these are still new to me, exciting, but intense and intimidating. Kinda like a new love affair, you know? It can take me days to gather the nerve to start a new one, once I have decided on an image. Maybe I need a mental rest in between. I imagine that will shift and change at some point and it will be interesting to see what happens.

Have a great Thanksgiving, all! I will be giving thanks for our new cutie pie president who is getting right down to business, as well as for the health and happiness of my family and friends. Plus I am totally bailing on the no sugar thing and will be enjoying my own home made pumpkin pie and cranberry bread.

Birthday Cake Hats and Easter Bunnies

I had an excellent day yesterday, working on two underpaintings. I am learning that even though I am approaching this works similarly to how I do the landscapes, some things are very different. Mostly though, they kick my butt, energy wise. With the landscapes I banged out* 5 to 10 underpaintings in a day, then they would dry for a few days and I could work on each one briefly, each day for about a week. With these I can only do maybe two underpaintings a day until I am dragging. They are much more involved and intense. So I am thinking that I will need to do a few underpaintings each day for a week, then work on the color on all of them during the following week.



Anyway, I am really excited about these two, and I think that I can safely say that I have never painted a bunny. In the photo reference the woman is holding a bunny and I considered substituting a different object, flowers, a purse, a pizza box, almost anything but a bunny. However the I realized that the hat and the bunny pulled me into the narrative of the woman's pose and so I decided that Fluffy stays. So far everyone who has seen the underpainting has laughed so I guess that's a good thing.

And just a note about my newfound energy. I have been trying very hard lately to just talk myself into have having more energy, even though I knew the real culprit was sugar. I had gotten a little crazy with my sugar intake, (more specifically I was eating way too many chili flavored chocolate bars) and so about a week ago I quit eating sugar. I have done this periodically over the years, once I went for over two years without eating processed sugar, but I usually end up back with my true love addiction. This time I am just going day by day and am not looking at the long term. However I am feeling so much better and am supposedly more mature now that I am almost 44 (eek!), and so hopefully I can remember all that the next time a chocolate chip cookie is staring me in the face. Heh.

*I suppose an artist isn't supposed to admit that they bang out the work, but well, I do and so I am. My way of working isn't tortured and full of angst and it's maybe not even all that thoughtful, sorry.

It's a Start

Way excited about this one that I did yesterday! I would have done another but the kids were home and I ended up driving my daughter around quite a bit to various social events. I had a block of time in the afternoon though and got this one done at least.

I am off to do more underpaintings today and will be back tomorrow; hopefully with proof that I didn't just fritter away my day on the computer yet again. Heh.

(Sorry about the glare)

Mondays Are a Clean Slate, Right?

My Favorite Gambrel, 2008, Oil on Gessobord, 5x7

Goodness, it's been awhile since I posted. I used to post faithfully nearly every weekday, but that has dropped back to three or four times a week, or even less, in the last six months or so. I don't feel like I am bored with keeping the blog but maybe I just have less to say? I have told most of my good stories after all. Or at least the ones that I don't mind telling in public. heh.

Anyway, I seem to be in some sort of weird funk lately, although much of it may have something to do with the trance-like, magnetic quality of my computer screen. I have been spending way too much time at the computer lately, doing a few interesting things, but mostly not doing anything important whatsoever. Now that the election is over and things have quieted down a bit in the news, I am back to doing things like checking out the bios of the cast of True Blood, my new favorite show. I spent almost 45 minutes checking out this site! How dumb is that?!

I always thought I had good work discipline but now it turns out that I only do if I have some sort of deadline, and not the self-imposed kind either. I can see right through those, heh. I have plenty of painting to do as well as other projects that I could be doing, things that I want to do and am even excited about, but somehow it is so easy for me to just tell myself that I don't actually have to do it today, that tomorrow or even the next day is ok to start a new painting or whatever. I considered that I might have some kind of creative block, but have ruled that out. I am plenty interested in the figurative work and doing the small paintings for my other blog is a lot of fun.

Not looking for advice here, just explaining what's going on with me lately. I know this will pass. Eventually. I hope. And I am also hoping that by saying all this out loud, I will get some motivation back. I'd hate to have to banish my computer from the studio (any other alternative locations would be extremely inconvenient concerning the actual work that I do have to do on the computer) and really, shouldn't I just be able to walk away from the damn thing? Sheesh.

Ok, so Monday is always a good day for a clean slate and I will try again to get back on my pre-recession/no sales/no shows or events scheduled in the near future daily schedule. You know, the one where I worked really hard and managed to paint five paintings per week AND take care of the house and kids and animals too? I can't believe I am actually missing those crazy days right now....

Score!

Well in between last week's exciting weather, family stuff and my own laziness and lethargy, I have managed to finally get some work done on those figurative underpaintings that I did forever ago.

At every stage of these paintings I have stressed and worried and procrastinated. Mostly because I was afraid of the challenge. Not only about making a bad painting I think (I do crappy paintings all the time!) but because I feel really attached to this project of interpreting the people in these old photos I have been collecting. I want to do those people justice, yet express myself as well. Not to mention dealing with all the technical issues of painting different imagery on different supports with a different palette (sort of, I admit to using a similar palette as I do with the landscapes). Anyway, kind of a tall order and I think it is understandable that I went a bit off the deep end during this process.

I struggled a bit with the first one (above) that I added color to. Mostly with the color of the background and the texture of it (it has kind of a wallpaper-y pattern in it, not visible until one is right up close to it), first it was a lighter green, then I darkened it (it doesn't look quite so dark in person) and while it looks better, I am still not so sure about it. I might go back into it. It is also a tighter image, mostly due to the underpainting that I cleaned up maybe more than I should have, which kind of bugs me now. But I learned a lot with this one and there are parts of it that I am very happy about; her face, the sweater and her odd pose (the photo gets partial credit for that), so it was an important piece to get through. Also the beauty of working on paper is that I can crop the image if I want. And I just might do that, I like this crop quite a bit:


Then yesterday, at the end of the afternoon, I just walked right up to the easel and knocked out this painting:

As I mentioned in a previous post, I loved the underpainting and felt pretty sure that I would ruin it with color. Then it sat for a long time in my studio while I convinced myself that I was definitively going to mess it up. However, I am actually thrilled with how it turned out (it was so hard to photograph-must I add that it looks WAY better in real life?) and it is just what I had hoped to do with this imagery. I was particularly worried about the polka dots on the dress, because I left it very loose in the underpainting, knowing that it would give me trouble at the color stage. And it did when I tried to make it a multi colored pattern. After I scrubbed that off though and made it a solid red dress, the energy of the pattern is still quite visible:

Through the whole thing, I had to remind myself not to overwork and to let the underpainting do most of the work and it helped too that I had to stop and go have dinner with the kids. Stopped me from my own obsessive compulsive behavior. Heh.

Here are a few more close ups:




So I am back to being pretty enthusiastic about starting some more of these and have been spending the day choosing photos to use as reference and preparing more paper. I will start a whole new batch of underpaintings tomorrow.

PS. No official titles on these two yet, but they are 22x30, in case you were wondering about scale.

More on Underpaintings

I did another underpainting on Friday (see close ups below). Even though I am excited about doing these I find myself procrastinating terribly when it comes time to actually sit down and get started. To the extent that I waste almost the entire day and then have to work quickly in the last part of the day before my mom thing starts up again. At first I wasn't sure why I kept doing this, I love doing the underpaintings no matter what the subject is and usually I love how they turn out. But doing them is intense and while it is exhilarating it also requires much energy and I am always drained after. It's all good of course, but I think the intensity of all that scares me a little.

Doug and I have spent a lot of time talking about leaving the underpaintings as is or pursuing the color. As I said before he thinks I should let them be, but I am feeling this intense need to apply color. I love doing the underpaintings more than anything, but I really need the challenge of painting in color too. Making the underpaintings would be fun, but too easy, I think, and while that is tempting I know that ultimately it wouldn't be very good for me or my work. So I am pressing on and will try to not mess these up.

Anyway, we did come to one conclusion. Hello! I can still do more underpaintings anytime, even of the same images, over and over if I want (I am the artist, I get to do what I want) in which case I would do some things differently. More darks, more lines, more randomness. So things are good, either way.

And I just wanted to thank everyone who commented on my last post about dwindling sales. It is comforting to know that it isn't just me being affected and inspiring to hear how we are all trying to find ways to get by, whether it's by painting larger or smaller or selling in different venues, or using the downtime to develop new directions or to build up inventory.

Despite the difficulties now in selling art, I am still trying my best to not take a wrong turn here out of desperation and to (hopefully) keep my dignity. Well whatever dignity I still possess, of course. Heh. That's all relative, I suppose.


I am really proud of this polka dotted dress:

and it is a good example of how I would handle it if I weren't going to go back in with color. This area will be tough to handle and I have no idea how to do that right now. I know that to add color later, the underpainting should be more refined, but I just couldn't help myself here and I left it the way I liked it.

I Can't Even Think of a Title for this Post.....

Triangle, 2008, oil on Gessobord, 5x7

Hmm, surprisingly, I have very little to talk about today, however I didn't want to go another day without posting so here I am anyway.

I have just been puttering around lately. I have gotten a bunch of paper gessoed, there is a new batch of small paintings in progress, I have shipped out some new work to one of my galleries and have attended many, many, soccer and football events. Ach.

We did have some visitors which is always super exciting out here in the sticks. Even the dogs get really excited about visitors. A friend of mine, Amanda, who I met at the Vermont Studio Center last winter, stopped by on Monday along with her boyfriend. They are checking out grad programs and stopped to see us on the way to Syracuse. So that event necessitated some house cleaning which was a good thing, and then it was great to see Amanda again and to chat with both of them for the afternoon.

I have also gotten back to the figures and portraits. I did this underpainting last Saturday:
The underpainting makes me happy, it was fun to do and I like how it turned out, however I am not so sure that I will not muck it up at the next stage. Guess I won't know until I jump in. Doug has suggested to me that maybe the underpaintings should just be the paintings (with some modifications), and I am taking that under consideration.

Some of you may have noticed the list of my followers up at the top of the sidebar. I was unaware of this feature until I noticed on my blogger dashboard that I had two followers. This little glimmer of attention encouraged me to show off that I actually had two people following me so I figured out how to add it to the sidebar and now there are a bunch more! Most of you I know, but now there are a few that I am not familiar with and I am looking forward to checking in on those blogs. Anyway, thanks for following me. Heh.

Well, maybe something exciting will happen here between today and tomorrow so that the next post might be a bit more interesting. I make no guarantees though.

Randomness

Magenta Smudge, 2008, Oil on Panel, 6x6

I have just been floating along lately, doing a little of this and a little of that. Kind of chipping away at the projects I have going but not really making significant headway with any of them.

The portraits: I have decided to not continue with the rest of the group that I began on the gessoed paper, mostly for technical reasons. The drawings were too light and then when I did the orange and red washes, I could barely see the drawing underneath, making the painting part pretty difficult. The two that I did and posted were ok, because when I did the washes on them, I did some modeling, meaning I pulled out some lights with a cloth, leaving the shadows. That gave me enough to work with when I got to the color. I haven't the faintest idea as to why I didn't do that same thing with all of the drawings.

Anyway, I am waiting for the heavier sheets of paper to arrive and will start again, having learned a thing or two the first time around. Supposedly.

In the meantime, I am doing some small figures on the birch panels, 9x9 squares for now. I am beginning with a pencil drawing, based on snapshots that I have been collecting from estate sales. They are not far enough along to post images of yet, but I will when I make some headway. Even though I am totally enjoying the drawing part, I should have more done by now. But I don't because frankly I am having trouble resisting the lure of my computer lately. Yesterday I spent hours reading up on important topics such as recaps for Swingtown and the new Beverly Hills 90120. You can not believe how fascinating the message boards for those shows are! Why I spent hours reading through them....

I have also become more involved with Facebook, although I still can't bring myself to describe what I am doing every minute of the day. Everyone else seems so funny and witty while mine would certainly be an embarrassment. "Tracy is checking out viewers comments about whether Tom and Trina should give up their swinging lifestyle and have a baby" or "Tracy just went downstairs to let the dog out and is now back at the computer" "Tracy can't believe that Shannen Dougherty is actually back on 90120" Are these lame or witty? Also, whenever I get new friends I spend way too much time stalking them going through their pages, plus I just figured out that a real time sucker is chatting online. On Saturday night I was up until 1:30am chatting! Well past where I turn into a pumpkin with no ability to function properly the next day.

Maybe I should try a bit harder to get a new gallery, or at least a show. Heh. I need something.

PS. The bad news of today-bankruptcies, buy outs, and Hurricane Ike did not escape my notice. It's just that I felt the need to cut into those extremely sad and depressing stories with fluff. Sorry.