Thursday This n That

 I woke up tired.  I hate when that happens.

Mom has lived in her apartment since 2000 and they just now replaced the carpet that wasn't new when she moved in there.  

Sawyer's being a turd today.  He goes through cycles where he's just a naughty kitty.  Luckily, his naughty-kitty times are getting shorter and farther between.  But when they arrive, I'm tearing my hair out.  Ugh.  Finn, on the other hand, is pretty good all the time.  It's all about balance.

The rut is here.  We're seeing bucks chasing tail - literally.  There are three identifiably different bucks.  One of them is Sonny, who we've watched since he was a little-bitty fawn.  The other is slightly younger.  The other is slightly older.  

I love the Canadian sit-com Corner Gas.  It's a total hoot.

I'm terminally lazy right now.  Today, I really should vacuum and dust.  We'll see if that happens.  Yesterday, I said I was going to make bread and that didn't happen.  Make of that what you will.

We're starting to hear geese as they migrate through.  I love Fall.

It's cold enough this morning that I can actually go in the woods.  That may jump the queue of to-dos... because it's more fun than cleaning.

If a rooster lays an egg on the peak of a roof, which side does it roll down?*  (An old riddle that I was recently reminded of by an episode of Corner Gas.  I think Dad pulled this one on me when I was a  kid.)  

And on that note, I'll let you go.  Have a great day.  And I hope all your this-n-thats are fun.

*Riddle answer:  Roosters don't lay eggs. ;o)

Confessions of a Gameshow Addict

Hi.  I'm B.E. and I'm addicted to gameshows.  

I probably need an intervention or something, but Hubs is an enabler.  (Psst... he watches them, too.)  And I'm not hurting anyone.  I rationalize it by telling myself I'm keeping my brain active, but let's face it... Other than MasterMinds, I'm really not exercising the brain cells.  I mean, Deal or No Deal has no mental value.  The contestant picks cases, for petesakes.  

I remember watching gameshows as a small child, so I guess you could say that The Price is Right and Let's Make a Deal were my gateway drugs.  Mom watched, so I watched.  Later, I got hooked on Jeopardy! so I was in front of the TV every night at 7 watching Alex and the contestants.  

For a while in high school, I was a participant of sorts.  It was called Quiz Bowl and then they changed the name to High School Challenge.  Teams of trivia buffs from high schools all over the area would compete on TV (PBS, so nothing network and no big fame there).  I made captain of the team my Junior year - the previous captain graduated and there was no one else to take over.  

There was a time there when I was too busy to watch gameshows.  I was working, I was a mom, I had things going on in my life.  I dabbled a little after I retired, but I was busy with homeschooling and my writing.  Then we moved here and I spent more time watching.  I got off the shows entirely while I was back to work, but since then, I've been slowly getting more and more hooked on them.

I start at 10am with Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.  After that, it's Deal or No Deal.  Then old reruns of Match Game.  (I will NEVER watch the new one.  Alec Baldwin makes me nauseous.)  After that, I take a break because I'm not a big fan of the newer Wheel of Fortune episodes.  Later, I'll pick back up again with shows like MasterMinds, Split Second, Switch, and Chain Reaction.  Then I stop until the next day.  

I really could be getting a lot more done if I didn't watch these things.  Oh, I do occasionally get some editing done on commercial breaks, but that's sporadic.  Maybe today I'll do something else.  But then I wouldn't get to see how far that guy made it on that show.  Or how silly the contestants are on the other ones.  It's a vicious cycle of addiction.  

Life and Song

 Let me tell ya, for a while there my life was all like:

And I was trying to be all...

Now it's pretty much:

But...

And I have...

How are things in your world?

Dang, I Love English

I'm at a loss for what to post this morning.  It's Tuesday. It's the first of February.  Not sure where the hell the month of January went.  Woosh.  But here we are at a whole 'nother month.  

A whole 'nother.  Do you say it that way, too?  A whole other just sounds wrong.  Another with the word 'whole' in the middle.  :shrug:  Maybe it should be written as a-whole-nother.  LOL, that sounds like a-hole nother, so maybe I'll just keep on the way I've been writing it.

I also say 'I could care less', which apparently irritates people to no end.  But I've said it that way my whole life and now 'I couldn't care less' sounds wrong.  I look at it this way:  I don't care much, but if you keep on the way you're going, I could care less.  So if the way I say it bothers you, get over it.  K?

And why do people have a problem with the word MOIST?  I don't get it.

Language is a funny thing.  

Once, I got a note from someone who'd read one of my books, asking where I'd gotten a certain phrase I used.  I don't remember what the phrase was, but whatever it was, it was part of my vernacular for as far back as I could remember.  So that's what I told her.  

Proof that the internet is forever... I remembered who the person was from the above and that we'd talked in chat messages, so I scrolled back through all of our messages and there it was.  Back in 2015, she'd asked about the phrase 'to touch off'.  As in 'her attitude really touched him off' or something.  Set him off, riled him up, mad him angry, etc.  

See?  There are so many different ways to say a thing.  That's part of what I love about the English language.  It's also part of what I hate about it, especially during editing.  Which is where I'm at right now.  Edit-brain.  It's deep and it's real, baby.  Finding the exact right way to say a thing so that it conveys exactly what you mean and provides the reader with the experience you're hoping to provide.  'She had dark hair.' ... 'She had ebony hair.' ... 'Her hair was as black as the night.' ...  'The way the sun shone off her hair made him think of a raven's wing.'  Dang, I love English.

English also gives us a way to say something entirely new and have people still understand what we're talking about.  Take the word 'writerly'.  It's not a word.  I made it up years ago.  (Other people have probably used it, too, but I was the first one I heard it from, so for me, it's my word.)  But when I say something like 'I'm working on writerly stuff today', you know what I mean in a very general way.  I'm working on stuff related to writing which may or may not include writing itself.  Editing, publishing, research, marketing, etc.  And writing.  It's all writerly.  

And it gives us a chance to play with words.  Sandwiches... Sammiches.  Spaghetti... Sketty or Skitty or Pasgetty.  People still know what you're talking about, even if it's not exactly correct. 

Since I don't know any other languages, maybe you do that with those, too.  All I know is English and all the things you can do with it.  Combining those 26 letters into all those words and phrases to make sentences and paragraphs, pages and chapters, turning it all into a story.  Awesome stuff there, people.

Do you have any favorite words and phrases you use that not everyone else uses?  Do you make up words?  

Pizza!

There's nothing quite like homemade pizza.  Hot and fresh and probably better for you than frozen pizza.  And it's super simple.  

Here's my recipe...

Pizza Crust

2 1/4 cups flour
1 tsp salt
1/2 T white sugar
2 tsp yeast
3/4 warm water
2 T olive oil
Extra flour for dusting (may take 1/2-1 cup)
Extra olive oil for coating the bowl

Start off by putting the yeast in a small bowl.  Add 1/4 cup of the warm water.  Stir and set aside.  In a large bowl, sift together the flour, salt, and sugar until combined.  Make a well in the center.  Pour in the yeast mixture.  Put the remaining 1/2 cup of warm water into the yeast bowl, swirling and stirring until all the yeast residue is incorporated and then pour that into the flour well.  Add the olive oil to the well.  Wash your hands well and then starting in the center of the well, using your fingers, stir the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients.  (I do concentric circles outward with one hand, keeping the other goo-free.)  

Now, here's my weird part.  I knead my dough right in the bowl.  When you've got it all mixed together, dust your gooey hand with flour and get all the dough off and into the bowl.  Smoosh that into the dough as you go.  Knead the dough for 7 minutes, dusting in more flour every time you start sticking to the dough again.  When the timer goes off, you should have a round ball of dough and a clean bowl.  Sparingly coat the bottom and sides of the bowl with olive oil.  Put the dough ball into the bowl, turning it until the dough is covered with oil.  You just want enough oil that the dough doesn't stick to the bowl while it's rising.  Cover with a slightly damp dish towel and put in a warm place for 1-2 hours or until it's roughly doubled in size.  How long you let it rise depends on how warm your place is.  Summers here, I put the bowl out on the sun porch and it takes an hour to rise.  Winters, I put the bowl in my bathroom and leave all the lights on.  Then it takes about 2 hours to rise.

Start preheating the oven now.  475F

Once it's risen to where you want it, punch the dough ball.  Right in the center.  One hit... pow.  Now, here's the other weird part for me.  I don't knead the dough again.  No more kneading.  Seriously.  You've done enough damage to your wrists already.  Just take the dough ball, upside up, and place it in the middle of a large pizza pan (mine's 16") that I've already sprayed with non-stick cooking spray.  Gently coax the dough, in concentric circles, from the center out to the edge of the pan.  If I want a thicker crust, I don't go all the way to the edge.  The closer you get to the edge, the thinner the crust.  

Here's a yummy thing I do next that isn't necessary, but is oh so good - melt like 3 tablespoons of butter in the microwave, stir in garlic salt, and brush that on the crust before you add your toppings.  Outer crust, if you like, or all of it, if you're feeling naughty.  THEN sprinkle the edge with Parmesan.  Mmmmmm.  Then put your toppings on.  Do it up however you like it.  I usually do pizza sauce and mozzarella, then add my toppings.  Last night, I did ham, pepperoni, mushrooms, and black olives.  

Bake for 15-20 minutes or until the crust is golden and the cheese is bubbly.  If you like a little brown on your cheese, hit the broiler for like a minute or two max.  Take it out and let it cool for like 5 minutes before slicing and serving.  I got 12 slices out of last night's pizza.  We ate four pieces and the rest went into the fridge for munching today.  And probably tomorrow.  LOL

You can also take the dough, cut it in half after you punch it - use one for dinner and the other can go into a baggie and into the freezer.  If you do that, take it out of the baggie while it's still frozen and thaw in the fridge in an oiled bowl.  Trust me, you do not want to thaw it in the baggie.  It sticks and it's messy.  Half the dough makes like one medium thin crust or one small thick crust.

And there ya go.  Pizza.  You made yourself.  Your way.  With a tender, yummy crust.  And bones you won't want to throw away.  (Mom always called the edge part the bone, and yeah, I've throw away many a bone in my life.  But not these.)

One last point... if you're not used to kneading, be prepared to have ouchy hands, wrists, and arms the next day.  Mine are killing me today.  It's totally worth it, but I'm giving you fair warning.  ;o)

What do you like on your pizza?

Thursday This n That

The other day, the phone company guy gave me his direct number and told me to call him if the static problem returned.  I have tried the number on several occasions and always get a 'voice mail box has not been set up' kind of message.  Thanks for nothin', phone dude.

The other night, we heard a strange noise outside.  It sounded like an owl, but not like any owl we've heard before.  I thought maybe it was a barn owl, so I checked out that call.  Nope.  So I went through every owl that lives in MO/AR but that I didn't think I'd heard before.  Nope.  Then I checked out the great horned owl to see if it made any non-typical noises that it could've been.  Not that either.  My last hope was the barred owl, but I didn't think it could be that because we hear their standard call quite often here.  Yep.  It was a non-typical barred owl noise.  

The next night, we heard a different strange noise outside.  Kind of between a growl and a yowl.  Checked out foxes.  Nope.  Not a raccoony type noise either.  Tried bobcat.  Yep.  It was a sound they usually make in series when they're looking for another bobcat, but this was only once.  Silly kitty.

Ah, livin' in the woods.

Hubs just stopped by my desk to fill up my coffee and he was chuckling.  I asked him why and he chuckled some more before he finally said "No, I don't want to get that stuck in your head."  I then said "Well, if it's giving you a chuckle, maybe it'll give me one, too."  He chuckled some more and replied, "No.  I don't want to risk it."  He's so funny.

Tuesday, I was at the bank chatting with my BFF when she suddenly whips out her phone and tells me she's got to show me something, saying it always made her smile.  It was an old video of Allan Sherman singing 'Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah.'  Too fun and it definitely made me smile.  I'm not sure when or where I first heard the song, but it's been my head for decades. Hubs and I are both fond of it and often quote the line I'm sure we'll have some fun if it stops rainin'.

That line is kind of apropos for this week.  Holy sploosh.  It's rained every day this week.  Wet wet wet.  Good thing Hubs and I worked on repairing the drainage before all this started.  All the rain is nicely flowing around the house instead of straight at it and puddling up in front.

And on that wet note, I'll let you go.  Have a great day, everyone.  :hugs:

Don't I Know You?

Hubs and I were watching a new show - Flesh and Blood on Masterpiece - Sunday night and several of the cast members looked familiar.  So, as I often do, I went to IMDB to figure out where we might have seen them.

The creepy next door neighbor played Dolores Umbridge in the Harry Potter movies.  

The mom played Paul Atreides mother in the original movie of Dune.

The mom's boyfriend played the good cop in V is for Vendetta.

And each time I discovered who they were, I was all like 'OH!! That's where I know them from.'  

I do this all the time.  Especially watching old shows like Perry Mason.  There's a lot of 'hey, that guy looks familiar' on there. And during commercials or after the show, I hit the internet.  I hate not knowing where I know someone from.  It's a thing.

Sometimes I know where I know them from.  "Hey, it's the little guy from The Big Sleep." Or "Oh, man, I just saw him.  He's plays the neighbor on Hazel."  

A couple weeks ago, we were watching something else on Masterpiece - Van der Valk - and the main character looked totally familiar, but I kept picturing him as much younger.  Sure enough, he played Blythe on Band of Brothers.  (Don't get me started on Band of Brothers and searching for where I knew all of those actors from.  There were a lot of actors in that one that I knew I knew from somewhere else.)

Thank goodness for the internet.  This stuff used to drive me nuts.  Now I can look any actor up at any time and satisfy my neurotic need to know.

If only there were an internet database of everyone I've ever met, so I can figure out who all those people are that I run into and wonder 'don't I know you from somewhere?' ;o)

Baking Competitions and Me

Last night's writing was pre-empted by a Spring Baking Championship marathon, ending with last night's season opener.  I totally didn't even think about writing until about 7:15p and by then, it was creeping up to the new show, which I didn't want to miss.  For some reason, these baking competition shows are my crack.  The Kid's Baking Championship, The Holiday Baking Championship, the spring one, The Great British Baking Show...  So much crack.

Anyway, so far, it seems like a good crew for the 2020 season.  No real stand-outs yet - to the good or the bad.  I like Sarah - she seems cheerful and nice and funny.  We'll see if she has the baking chops to stay.  I thought the tall, skinny, young guy would be a stand-out, because his pre-heat was so good, but his final bake was disappointing to me. 

In case you haven't been paying attention, I bake.  A lot.  Oh, I could never be in a baking competition.  My stuff is more about flavor than looks.  Decorate?  Meh.  That and none of these competitors have recipes laying around their workstations, so I assume they're all cooking from memory.  Blerg.  I can't remember recipes. Even after all the batches of cake cookies I've made, I still have to go to the cookbook for the measurements.

I have decorated a cake a couple times - mostly for the Kid's early birthdays.  They weren't bad, but they weren't competition worthy either.  Her first birthday cake, I made a rainbow.  Making 6 different colors of icing had to be fun.  Here it is with her enjoying herself before she tore into it.

Still, I like to watch people who can bake and decorate.  It's nice to see people accomplishing stuff.  And there's no politics or what have you.  There's also no real backstabbing or trash talking on the ones I watch.  That stuff gets old.  Bake neat stuff, be courteous to each other... that's all I want in a baking show.  If that other stuff creeps in, I quickly lose interest.  And if I even get a hint that a baker is a snot, I root against them. 

I don't need anyone to root against on these shows.  I'd be perfectly happy if all of them are nice and when it gets down the final three, I can be satisfied with whoever wins.  Like this last season of Kid's Baking Championship.  Those last three kids were all awesome.  I was happy for the winner, but I would've been happy if either of the other two had won.  They were just good kids - which, if you ask me, is a rarity on television these days.

I did enter an online recipe competition once and I won.  But I never got the prize and any attempts to try and find out why were met with silence.  Live and learn. 

So, yeah, you'll never see me on any of these shows. I'll just be watching them and baking over here in my own way.  And eating the results of my efforts.  I know Hubs thinks all my recipes are winners.  ;o)

How about you?  Do you watch these shows?  Do you bake?  Or do you just enjoy eating the results?

A Fishing Story (Or Fighting With the Weather Gods)

I haven't gone fishing much this year.  The weather's been gross or it's too cold or whatever.  Yesterday morning it looked perfect - mostly cloudy with occasional sun poking through the clouds and warm for February 24th - so off I went.

I got to the boat ramp where I like to fish about 9am.  On any given day, I am alone at any of my favorite spots.  There might be cars in the parking lot with boat trailers attached, but those guys are all out on the lake.  I see them from time to time as they pull out of the lake and more arrive to put in, but still pretty full of solitude.  Yesterday, the place was empty.  Yay.

So, I get my gear out of the car, head for a good spot, put a worm on the hook, and cast out toward what we call The Point - where the creek enters the river.  There's a little wind blowing toward the shore, so not optimum for a good long cast, which is what you really need to get past the rocks to deeper water where the fish are hanging out right now.  No big deal.  I simply moved over to The Ledges - rock formations along the river where the water is easily 8 feet deep right off the edges, dropping to 30 feet shortly thereafter.  The Ledges also have awesome places to sit, which works for me.

Anyway, I was sitting in my favorite spot, trying some different things to no avail when it starts to sprinkle.  No big deal   Like I said, it was pretty warm.  And I was dressed for a bit of sprinkle activity.  I looked up at the sky and it seemed like this drizzle activity might be short. 

Then it started to sprinkle more.  I debated packing up and heading for the car.  But it had been so long since I went fishing, and I REALLY needed to go fishing.  I arranged my stuff so it would get the minimum amount of wetness and stood up so I would present the smallest space for rain to hit.  Shortly thereafter, the drizzle stopped.  Cool. 

I wiped off the rock, put a towel down, and resumed my relaxed and casual enjoyment of fishing. 

Then it started to sprinkle again.  Eh, I was already a little wet, so I kept fishing. Then I heard a rush of sound from down the river.  I stared off in the distance and sure enough, it was raining really hard about a half mile south of me.  But the wind wasn't coming from that direction. 

Except the wind I was feeling was not coming from the same direction as the upper level wind moving the clouds.  In less than a minute, the rain started coming down in earnest.  I shrugged and angled myself so my jacket would deflect most of the rain from my legs. 

It started to rain a little harder, almost as if some demented god from my books was thoroughly against my fishing that day.  I looked up at the sky and said 'Oh, come ON, I'm just trying to fish here.'  No sooner were the words out of my mouth than those demented weather gods decided to show me who was in charge.  The sky opened up and dumped a bucket.  I quickly became drenched.

But I wasn't going to let the weather win.  Screw you, I'm fishing here.

Then the spot where I was sitting, on the downslope of a rock DUH, became a tiny creek, soaking the only dry spot left on my person - my butt - thoroughly.  

And I started laughing.  And laughing.  And laughing.  If there was anyone on or near the lake at that point, I must've sounded like a crazy woman.  Sitting on the river bank, rod in hand, in the rain.  Laughing like a maniac. 

Not long after, the rain let up.  Since I wasn't getting any bites, I picked up my stuff and moved to the creek side.  It started raining again over there, but I was already soaked, so it didn't matter.  Unfortunately, the fish weren't biting over there either.  Finally, I gave up and headed for home. 

As I was driving west to loop east and get back to the house, I saw copious amounts of blue sky off in the distance.  I could've turned back and resumed fishing.  Except now I was cold and wet and I had to use the bathroom.  Plus, once I'm on my way home, I might as well go home.  I wasn't home twenty minutes when the sky was totally clear of clouds and crap. 

I could've gone back out, but the urge was lost.  And the fish weren't biting anyway.  Better luck next time.  When it's warmer. And a little drier.  ;o)

The Mouse Saga

Sunday, Hubs and I spent a couple hours out in the yard raking.  Not long after we came inside, I hear Hubs calling my name.

Me:  "What?"
Him:  "Did you put a sticky trap in the spare room?"
Me:  "There's one in the closet in there."
Him:  "No.  This one."

I walk over there and he's pointing to a trap that is now at the end of the bed.  The trap now has a splotch of fur on it and is chewed on one side.  And there's bits of trap paper in a line from under the closet door to where the trap now rests.

Me:  "We've got a mouse."

And sure enough, when we moved the bottom of the comforter from where it touches the floor, there it was, a tiny mouse staring up at us.

Now, you have to understand some things.  1) That bed has no frame, so its a mattress and box springs on the floor.  2) It's the cat's bed and, as such, it has big, flat, plastic boxes shoved tight along the side as 'stairs', to provide geriatric cat a gentle walk up to sleeping level.

So, there's this mouse, hiding under the comforter, but unable to escape further because the plastic boxes are shoved against the box springs.  And there we are, two grown and capable adults in a small bedroom chock full of furniture and plastic boxes, trying to figure out how to catch one tiny mouse.

Sounds easy.  I mean, the little thing was pretty much trapped, right?  Scoop it into a garbage can and off it goes to the big mouse house in the sky.  The mouse had other plans.  We almost had it when it saw a window of opportunity through the space between Hubs' legs. 

Understand some other things... 1) There is only about 3 feet between the bed and the door.  2)  There is only about 3 feet of space between the bed and the piano.  3) Most of that space is taken up by plastic boxes.  4)  Neither of us are exactly small people.

Hubs jumps, scrambling so the mouse doesn't run up his pantlegs.  I jump, scrambling off where I was laying across plastic boxes.  The mouse?  He runs under the dresser. 

At this point, we're stuffing things around the door so he doesn't get into the rest of the house, and trying to figure out a way to herd the cute, little bastard into an area where we can catch him.  Lucky for us, the dresser sits about 4 inches off the floor.  I can see the mouse.  He can see me.  I take a plastic hanger and herd him toward where Hubs is waiting with an old pillow case.  When the mouse is encouraged out from under the dresser, the idea is to throw the pillow case on top of him and whisk him away. 

Again, the mouse had other ideas.  He sees a new window and shoots out from under the dresser.  And the chase is on.  Under the piano (it's electric and sits on a stand, so no hiding there) across the front of the table where I keep my stereo, into the space between the head of the bed and the bookcase.  Aha!  I have him cornered! 

Nope.  He slips down the little crack between the bookcase and the wall.  He's behind the bookcase now.  I think.  But nope.  Peering down the cracks between the case and wall shows now mouse.  He's UNDER the damn thing.  While I keep an eye on the various routes the mouse could escape through and start de-booking the case, Hubs slips out to get a more effective mouse stopping tool. 

Everything off the bookcase, books and tchotchkes scattered everywhere, I lift the case (it's a two shelfer, so not that big) so Hubs can hit the damn thing with the spade he'd retrieved from the garage.  Carpet be damned, this mouse is gonna be a splat for sure.

The mouse had other ideas.

He runs for it.  Straight across the room and under the dresser again.  Okay, fine.  I get the plastic hanger I've been using as an encouraging tool and herd the damn thing toward the space where Hubs can finally get him.  Except...

Yep, other ideas again.

The mouse, moving exceptionally fast by this time, climbs the candle I was using to keep it from crawling through the space between the door and the plastic box we were using to keep him from crawling under the door.  He climbs the candle, runs across the plastic box and slips down the other side.  Hubs moves the box just in time for us to watch his little furry butt squeeze underneath the door.  Now, the mouse has access to the whole rest of the house.

But we had other ideas.  Hubs whips open the door and there's the mouse, thinking he's gotten away Scot free.  Hubs tries to chase him back into the bedroom with the shovel for easier containment, but the mouse jigs to his right and scampers under the telephone table... right onto the sticky trap I keep there to catch spiders.  And this time, he was stuck but good.

Hubs took stuck mouse and trap outside, and dispatched the little bugger as quickly and painlessly as possible.  At that point, there was nothing else to do with it.  You wanna try peeling a live and bitey mouse off a sticky trap? 

Anyway, such is life in the country.  I thought I'd jammed stuff in all the holes this house has, but there's one somewhere I missed.  Probably the hole where the dryer hose goes down under the house.  If they get in there, more power to them.  As long as they stay out of my cupboards. 

A quick check confirmed there were no signs of mice in my cupboards, by the way.  There is nothing worse than finding mouse poop in with the silverware.  :gag:

The cat, of course, was sleeping elsewhere at the time and was thoroughly unaffected by the whole hoopla.  Mouse running around in her room and she does nothing?  I fired her on the spot.  She yawned at me. 

Apple Cranberry Bread

The other day I made Apple Cranberry Bread and said I couldn't post the recipe because I hadn't typed it up yet.  Derp.  I searched this blog and found where I'd posted it back in 2010.  For some reason, I must've typed it directly into the blog because I had no copy on my hard drive, which is why I thought I'd never typed it up.  Now it's a freakin' file, so I can find it when I need it.  Sheesh.

Anyway, here's the recipe (doubled for two loaf convenience, even though I only made one loaf this time around):

Apple Cranberry Bread
(makes two loaves)

4 eggs
1.5 c. sugar
4 T vegetable oil
3 c. flour
3 tsp baking powder
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp Hot Apple Cider drink mix
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
4 medium granny smith apples (peeled & chopped into 1" pieces)
2 c. fresh cranberries

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.  Spray two 8x4" loaf pans thoroughly with fat-free cooking spray.  In a large bowl, beat eggs, sugar and oil until smooth and fluffy.  In a separate bowl, sift together dry ingredients.  Slowly stir dry ingredients into wet mixture.  (It will be very thick.)  Stir in apples and cranberries.  Spoon batter into loaf pans.  Bake for 60-65 minutes or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean.  Cool for ten minutes before tranferring to wire rack or whatever you use for cooling baked goods.  Let cool overnight, slice and serve.

If you don't have the drink mix handy, it's good without it.  It's just better with it.

I need to make some more of this before the rest of the cranberries go funky.  Maybe today.  Or maybe I'll make an Apple Cranberry Crisp.  Also yummy.  We'll see.  Since today is supposed to be colder than a witch's nose, it'd probably be a good day for baking.  Lord knows I won't be going outside.  Brrrr.

Do you bake when it's cold?  

Oh. It's Tuesday...

I slept late today, which means I didn't get up until quarter after five instead of quarter after four.  And I'm kind of brain dead this morning.  As in, it took me a bit of time to remember it was Tuesday.

As in sitting here wondering where the post I wrote yesterday didn't post this morning.  Umm, because I didn't write it.  I wrote some stuff for Saturday's reading wrap-up, but not an actual whole post.

As in discovering we had another thunderstorm last night.  Apparently it was a humdinger.  Totally missed it.  Thankfully, Hubs was monitoring it, so no worries about getting sucked up and dropped into Oz.

As in brainfarting out that I have a sale starting today.  I need to get started on marketing for that sometime soon.  After more coffee.

Thank goodness Hubs made me coffee or this morning would be a total wash.

In my defense, I took a forced-march walk after dinner last night.  One mile, twenty-two minutes. Probably tired me out enough to sleep like a rock and fog up my head.  Yeah, yeah, that's the ticket.  Now I need to find a way to lift the fog. 

The coffee must be working because I just remembered I have a spreadsheet I need to do this morning.  I'm slowly getting there... and I just remembered I can't complete said spreadsheet because some data got left out and I need that before I can finish the darn thing.

Brain fog.  It's real, man.

Need more coffee.

Yesterday's Adventure

Tomorrow May begins.  And that means it's that time again.  Time for new plates and a new driver's license.  So, yesterday, I took the trip. 

It's not a long trip.  I was there and back in 90 minutes, and 2/3rds of that was drive time.  Half hour up, half hour back.  In the remaining thirty minutes, I hit the bank, got the car safety-inspected, did the plates and then did the eye/sign test. 

The worst part of the trip is the drive.  It's all hills and curves.  The kind of hills that have the warning signs for trucks and the kind of curves where you'd better slow down to 20mph or you'll go shooting off into space (cuz, like, you're driving in a small mountain range). 

Oh, it's a very pretty drive.  Everything here is green.  It's like nature is trying to outdo herself with how many shades of green she can create.  Plus, the dogwoods are still blooming, so you have occasional bursts of white alongside the road.  And the sun was dappling through the trees.  Unfortunately, sun through trees at any speed tends to give a strobe-light effect. 

Anyway, I did the trip.  This year, Missouri decided it would be a good idea to give us all new plates instead of just a new sticker.  What a waste of money.  Plus, now I have to memorize a new plate #.  I liked the old number because part of it made a funny word.  The new number?  Blah.  The old plates had a blue bird on them which I loved.  The new plates are to celebrate the state's bicentennial... in two years.  1821-1921.  Umm, yah.  They're kind of boring. And no bird.  =o\

This year, Missouri is also shifting to the Real ID program thingie.  It's a federal government thing that's supposed to make it harder for assholes to fake the ID.  In order to get a Real ID, I had to present my old driver's license, birth certificate and my Social Security Card to prove I was who I said I was, and a utility bill to prove residency.  Kind of a pain, but if the program helps to keep our nation safe, I can deal with it.

While I was there, a gentleman was also trying to get his Real ID.  I overheard the gal talking to him and apparently, he tried to hand her a piece of paper with his SSN written on it instead of his SS card.  Nope.  Need the card.  Says so right on the postcard they send you.  Oops.  He did not seem happy.  :shrug:  Follow the rules and you'll get along fine.  I had all my shit together.

With one exception.  When I started handing all my paperwork to the first gal to get my plates, I didn't have proof of insurance in my Big Folder of Information (tm).  I mean, it was in my car, so not that big a deal, but it was especially funny because right before I left, Hubs said I should take the thing out of the glove compartment and put it in the BF of I.  And I was all like nope, I have this.  Which ought to teach me to listen to Hubs. 

The license thing went smoother.  Handed over all the stuffs and was directed to the nice young gal in charge of the eye test and taking the license photos.  Did the eye test - which consisted of reading the top line and then being able to identify six signs by their shapes and markings.  Passed it all with flying colors.  She said I would be surprised at how many people don't pass.  I said something about people needing glasses and she said that wasn't the part they couldn't pass.  Dude, if you can tell what signs are by their shape and markings, you need to maybe review that shit before you get behind the wheel.  Stop, merge, do not enter, signal ahead, no left turn, and no u-turn... simple stuffs. 

Anyway, she gave me an A+ and then shifted me over to get my picture taken.  I had thought about doing my hair to make me pretty before I left, but then I thought that these licenses are supposed to look like you on an average day.  Getting all dolled up would not have looked like me on an average day.  And the picture actually turned out better than my old license.  Go figure.

She punched holes (they spell out the word VOID) in my old license and handed it back.  Then she gave me a printed temporary license to carry around with me.  A paper license.  For three weeks.  Considering when I fish I usually only take my license with me instead of my whole purse, and I often get rained upon... Guess I'll have to carry that sucker in a baggie for a while.  :shrug:

On a side note, watching Live PD in Greene County, MO makes me wonder if we're the only people in the damn state who actually have licenses.  So many people on there don't.  Derp.

So, that's done for another two years on the plates and another six on the license.  Plus, I'm a legitimate person in the eyes of the federal government.  Umm, yay. 

And that was my adventure yesterday.  Gotta take the adventures where you find them.

What big adventures have you been on lately?

Thursday This n That

I'm too old for dissenting opinions.  I mean, people can certainly have them, but I'm tired of looking at / hearing them.  Scrolling down the FB feed, I hide them and block them.  I spent a lot of time in my younger years having debates and poking people with pointy sticks to try and make them see things my way or to try and see things their way.  I'm so over it.  Meh.

The other day I was talking with a younger friend of mine about dating and relationships.  She told me that some numbnuts told her (an unsolicited opinion, btw) the reason she didn't have a boyfriend was that she was too lazy to look for one.  :eyeroll:  Fortunately, my friend's with me - it's better to be alone than be with the wrong person.  I spent enough years with the wrong people to have learned that one the hard way, lemme tell ya.  Lucky for me, I've been with the right one for almost 15 years now.  My friend wants what we have and she's not settling for anything less.  Go her.

Yesterday, the whole area filled up with smoke.  Again.  This time we didn't bother blaming the neighbors. (Tons of them regularly burn leaves and/or trash.)  It was obviously not from around here.  Sure enough, it was out-of-state smoke.  Two controlled burns in AR.  It's like an annual Spring thing.  They burn down there, it gets smoky up here.  I joked with Hubs we could probably hang strips of salmon on the porch and they'd be smoked by morning.

It's time to spray for ticks again.  While the spray we use doesn't kill snakes, it does make them feel weird, so they avoid it.  Win-win.  Particularly good since we had what I believe was a smallish cottonmouth (as in not huge, but still probably over two-foot long) on the deck earlier in the week.  He'd seen it the day before, poking its head out from a hole in the wood siding, and the next day it came out to sun itself on the deck.  We weren't sure what kind of snake it was, not until it started to strike at us with its white mouth open.  We kept it from going back in the hole and Hubs has since stuffed the hole with steel wool.  Unfortunately, this means no more woods time for me until fall.  =o(

I've started watching a couple game shows - America Says and Common Knowledge.  They're a hoot.  If you get the Game Show Network, they start at 4pm Central and run 'til 5.  It's a nice break from the bullshit.

Speaking of hoots, I watched a video yesterday of a dad trying to get his toddler to try ketchup on her fries.  When she solemnly shook her head no, like the thought of anything on her sacred fries was disgusting, I about fell apart.  "Try it.  It'll change your life," he says.  ROFL.  She finally tries it and she has such a look of utter contentment.  Ketchup on fries... it's deep and it's real.

Sometimes the only thing keeping me from going all apeshit on the world is funny videos of puppies, kitties, and kids.

What say you this week?

I Don't Understand

I don't understand...

Bacon Soap.  Yes, that says SOAP not SOUP.  Why would anyone want to smell like bacon all day?  Or any other food for that matter?  I mean, I have vanilla scented body spray, but every time I use it, I'm hungry all day.  ALL DAY.  Walking around in a cloud of bacon would drive me insane.  And everywhere you go, you'd be making other people hungry, too.  People drooling and groaning... It'd be like a zombie apocalypse out there.

And old book perfume.  I love old books, but I don't understand the need to smell like them.

Are pants with JUICY across the ass a thing anymore? Because I never understood that.

I saw an author the other day whose marketing plan was a list of reasons NOT to buy his book.  I didn't read the list.  Maybe I would've understood the thinking behind it if I had.  Reverse psychology, perhaps?

Apparently, vantage point is one word in Canada.  I don't understand why it's two words here and one word there.  Then again, there are a lot of words I think should be one word, but they aren't.  I can't think of any at the moment and I don't understand that either.  Why is it every time I want examples for something, my brain refuses to give them to me?

Some punctuation rules. Some of them seem illogical.  Here anyway.  Occasionally, you see the same punctuation with different rules in the UK.  Their rules seem more logical, so I use theirs.  Sometimes.

I got contacted the other day by a toxic person I'd cut ties with years ago.  They were asking for publishing help.  Sent me their manuscript and everything.  I don't understand the thinking behind that.  Deleted the email and blocked the addy.  (Which I'd already done years ago, but they came at me from another addy.)

There are lot of other things I don't understand, but if I keep going, we'll be here all day and it'll start to get political or cultural or whatever.  I'm not in the mood and you probably aren't either.  And that's something I can totally understand.  ;o)

Still Better

Okay, so yesterday I got a wild hair and decided to head out for the lake.  Editing wasn't going well, pay-job stuff was done for the day, world events still sucked, why not escape a little, eh? 

It was gorgeous outside, so naturally I caught nothing.  I had the park pretty much to myself, though, which was awesome.  Gotta get park time in while I can because it closes for the season Thursday.  Bleh.

Anyway, while I was out there, I prepared for a long, hard cast with my favorite lure.  Imagine it was like me swinging for the cheap seats.  Except when I actually went to cast, the lure hooked my bag... My bag that easily weighed 8 pounds what with the full bottle of Powerade and two worm containers and everything else I carry...  And GURK. Pole went forward, line broke, and I stood there looking like Wile E. Coyote after he'd run full-on into a wall. 

Once I'd recovered from that jarring experience, I went through the process of re-rigging my pole.  First, I had to get the lure off the swivel so I could cut the swivel loose from the broken line.  Of course, the lure swung around and one of its hooks caught me in the tender space where my index finger meets my middle finger.  Swearing ensued. 

I unhooked myself from the lure, got it off the swivel, and cut the line off.  (Which I tucked into my bag, because I never leave loose line lying around.  Don't get me started on people who leave loose fishing line lying around.)  I re-rigged for worm and bobber, and cast out. 

The thing about casting is you hold the line with your index finger, right about at the crease for the first knuckle, until you're ready to let go and watch your rig fly.  And that first cast HURT like a sunuvagun.  I look at my finger and sure enough there's a red strip from one side of my finger to the other where the jarring cast had pulled the fishing line... the rather sharp, 10lb test fishing line... through.  Giving me the world's worst paper cut.

Ever prepared, I carry a first aid kit in my car.  But by then my car was a good few hundred yards away.  And it wasn't bleeding.  It was just making casting a bit difficult.  I fished for a while longer where I was - because I was sure fish were there and I'd walked all that way - and then slowly made my way back to the car, fishing along the way.  I got to the car and applied a band-aid from the never-before-used first aid kit. 

And the line kept catching on the band-aid when I went to cast.  I shrugged and kept on fishing, but I moved to a different spot on the lake. I did finally figure out how to cast with my bandaged finger, but still no luck. 

Eventually, I went home.  A little battered and totally fishless.

Still better than pretty much anything else I could've been doing for those two hours.  ;o)

When Hermits and Company Collide

I've told y'all before that I am a hermit.  Hubs is a hermit, too.  And the cat is basically agoraphobic.  We don't socialize.  With anyone.  Ever. 

Now, we aren't quite at the level of the cat.  We don't run and hide when people happen to come over.  But those who have come into our house are either service personnel or neighborly drop-ins.  The service people come in, do what they need to do and then leave.  The drop-ins are rarely here for long and they don't usually make it past the dining room/entryway. 

Today, however, is a red letter day at our little hermitage.  We have actual people coming over.  People we invited to come over*.  And they'll be staying for at least a few hours. 

We've cleaned the house furiously.  Because, ya know, hermits.  And while we don't live in a pigsty, it's usually not 'company coming' clean around here.  We don't really care if there's a bit of dust or a little clutter.  Anything we use regularly is left out somewhere instead of put away.  That sort of thing. 

Plus, we smoke.  And while we don't notice the mustiness of leftover cigarettes, we're betting other people will notice.

Anyway, the house has been dusted and vacuumed and Febrezed to within an inch of its life.  And we're ready for them to come today.  It's actually kinda nice having the house all spiffy.  And it'll be kinda nice to sit around and socialize with other human beings for a while.  I'm going to try to put on my extrovert costume - I hope it still fits - and not be a wallflower.  Today we'll be a normal couple hanging out with another normal couple, doing couply things.

Fingers crossed it all goes well.

What about you?  Do you do 'company' or are you a hermit, like me?


* If you drop in on me, you get what you get - ratty clothes, messy hair, untidy house.  You took your chances when you didn't bother calling first.  (And they never seem to call first.  Not sure why that is.)

Thursday This n That

I just did one of those 'list challenge' thingies.  This one was supposedly all the books that have ever been on the AP English test.  I'd read 35 out of 350+.  A lot of the books on there I'd never even heard of.  As I expected, there were few I hadn't read that I'd want to.  Bleh. 

Today is our anniversary.  14 years and still going strong.  Marrying Hubs was the best decision I ever made.

I'm making trout for dinner.  They just happened to have some at the Wallyworld, so I thought 'why not?'

After several days of hot hot hot, yesterday we had a break in the temps.  I had to actually put on pants for our walk.  (Instead of shorts, silly.)  And because it was cool, we ended up walking about a mile and a half round trip.  Which was awesome. 

Anybody else watching Long Lost Family?  There was one the other night where the adoptive mom told the gal that she'd been put up for adoption because her birth mom had a new boyfriend who didn't want to be burdened with another man's child - which totally wasn't true.  But even if it was, what kind of monster would tell that to their child, adopted or not?  Made me want to poke that lady in the eye.  Gah. 

Yes, I am constantly amazed by the stupid, ignorant, cruel things people do.  I shouldn't be amazed, but I must hold out some kind of secret hope that men can be better than they are.  (Men as a general term referring to humans regardless of gender.)

It's kind of sick that I have to put in qualifiers like the above.  But there's a lot of weird in the world right now.  :eyeroll:

On a happier note, my birthday is tomorrow.  I'll be four dozen.  (I've been saying it that way because it amuses me.)  I was telling a friend of mine that and said 'four decades' by mistake and she corrected me to five decades.  Umm, not quite.  LOL.  Then we talked Chinese New Year and how this was the year of the Dog and how me being a female born in the year of the dog made me a...  She stopped and thought about it for a second and then burst out laughing.  I've been using that schtick for years and it works every time.  And that's why I don't let it bother me if someone calls me a bitch, because technically, I am one.  :cheesy grin:

Have an awesome day out there folks.  Don't let the stupid and the ignorant, the cruel or the thoughtless, bother you today.  Or any other day, for that matter.  =o)

The Anti-Bucket List

With people running around talking about their 'bucket lists' - things they someday want to do - I got the urge to make an Anti-Bucket List.  It's a list of things I never want to do that other people might have on their bucket lists.  Or in a few cases, things I never want to do AGAIN.

- Swim with sharks

- Run with the bulls in Pamplona
- Drive a race car
- Eat octopus
- Climb Mt. Everest (or any other mountain)
- Encounter a bear in the wild
- See the Taj Mahal
- Visit any of the Disney theme parks
- Ride a roller coaster
- Ski
- Sail around the world
- Take a trip to Europe.  Or Africa.  Or Asia.  Or South America.
- Learn to knit
- Fly over the Grand Canyon in a small airplane
- Go to NYC
- Wrangle an alligator

 What don't you want to do?  And remember, there are a lot of things that no one wants to do, so let's leave those off.   As a bonus round, who can guess which of the above are things I've already done and would rather never do again?

Thursday This n That

The bucks are beginning to tussle for breeding rights.  We've already seen two with snapped antlers.  And we had two others sparring in the yard a couple days ago.  Ah, Fall when the testosterone flows and the courting begins.  I'm hoping it all leads to a bumper crop of fawns next Spring.

Yes, I know, I'm probably not supposed to capitalize the seasons.  My editor would poke me with a pointy stick.  But she has no power here on the blog.  Bwa ha ha.  I can run amok!  Amok, amok, amok.

It's morning and I didn't sleep for shit last night which is making me loopy.  Amok, amok, amok.

The darkness at 7am is making me unmotivated.  But I still would rather not have a time change this Sunday at butt-early in the morning.  I never change my clocks before bed.  It's one last sleep before my schedule gets screwed royally.

I saw a supposed news story yesterday where the CEO of Nike was listed as Isaac P. Freely.  I.P. Freely.  Get it? 

Amok, amok, amok.

If you didn't get it, you probably had a more refined childhood than I did.  And a better class of friends.

Okay, time to wind down the amok and get on with my day.  This spreadsheet won't build itself.  What's up with you?