....it's all good....

did this montage for hubby's screensaver..



sometimes you don't know how much your kids look like you until you put them side by side.
can you see the resemblance?
funny how Matt and Brad don't look alike but both of them look like me.
how strange.

and my kids can camwhore just like me :P haha.

while i recuperate ..
while i do some damage control..
while i spend time with my boys..
while i try not to get sick coz the little fellas are still recovering and the big fella seems to have caught the virus..
you may check my qigong excursion update in FB.

oh! HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all the moms!

given the user-friendly application of iphone for FB and the ease of downloading photos directly from iphone. i tend to update FB more frequently than my blog.

for those of you who like to add me as friends in FB, please do so.
my e-mail add: lisawpp@hotmail.com

just drop me a message that you are following my blog :)

i'm so sorry for not posting again.
I AM OKAY :D ;D .......... still very me for sure.

so many unfinished tasks.
it took me ages to download the detox retreat photos and now still waiting for me to pen a few notes..
i haven't got the chance to take photos of my supplements to show you just yet..
and i will be away this Friday till Monday to Sipadan for qigong excursion. yaaaabadabadoo!

i still can't believe i'm going to Sipadan. i can't even remember when is my last beach bumming :P
but..but they say no swimming agenda.. WHAT???
okay then. at least i get to feel the breeze on my face, smell in the salty air and soak in the beautiful sight.

for the first time i'm going to the seaside not knowing what to pack!!
bikinis? out!! no way. qigong is a different world altogether.
besides the island, i think we are going to the forest and up the hill for qigong too.
anyway, i just borrowed a football socks from a dearie buddy to prevent leeches bites. *leeches* *shiver*
know of any better precaution with the leeches?
and hah! my supplements. i can't possibly bring a whole bag of supplements without drawing attention. that whole bag i show you previously is actually for 2 weeks supply only. can you imagine?

anyway, too much to do. too little time. so, can i leave you with this for the time being? what is this?

my boys trying to get my attention when i was trying to download photos in my blog (over the weekend).
ah-ah, that's my notebook screensaver.
ah-ha, that's me. in my new swimsuit..
look damn fit like that! but actually i'm super skinny waifism still.
i realize i look much better in photos than in real life..
and so, i decided i should really just appear in graphics or images only :P :P

my boys are super duper lovey dovey lately. they keep saying mummy going away again for 3 days.
i miss you already. awwwwww
can i make you a card to bring with you? awwwwww
so melting i tell you... with them all over me :)

feel a little morbid lately.. decided to go with the mood..
black is the colour...

a dialogue with my onco:

onco: "lisa, the nodules are back in the lung" (as in the xray).
me (defensive): " but my marker is coming down...."
onco: "we don't depend on marker results, xray give a better indication."
me (defensive still :P): "but my markers have been a good indicator for the past 3 years."
onco: "lisa, let's continue iressa for another month, if the xray shows no improvement, i'm afraid you have to go on chemo again."

when you look into your onco's eyes and read this
"i can't save you but i can only treat you."

would you let him?

i hope he sees beyond the smile and read it in my eyes
"over my dead body."

i'm not trying to be smart or stubborn.
it's just too strange to make a choice on how you die when you are still so alive.


my xray shows spots again. actually it came back before i stopped iressa but look bigger and denser now. in CONTRARY, my marker results came down.

22 Mar - 129.4 ..i stopped iressa
2 apr - 187.9 .. back on iressa for 4 days before i went for my detox retreat and stopped again. i only started back iressa on 19 April
20 Apr -124.6

basically i was on iressa for 6 days only for the whole month.
confused?
who knows what is really going on?
yeap. i think even my body is confused now :P :P



anyway, get over it. live it up. and live on.
i got another month to prove myself??!.. sh00t!
the deadliest deadline ever.

love the black nail polish.. but not a good idea if you have to do dishes and housework. glamour and housechores doesn't go hand in hand. i guess the same with glamour and being sick.

someone told me just a week ago that the thing that could just possibly save me is my spirit.
today my spirit break a little.

have you ever cried for a stranger?
you might... if you can feel what he has gone through and to know that we fight the same battle, a battle which may lead to the same eventual destiny after all.

the colleague of a friend whom i told you about recently has passed away today.
he left behind a widow and two young kids.
RIP i-don't-even-know-his-name.

camwhoring with my boys :P
no hassle. easy peasy. just my iphone. our red couch. plenty of morning light.
a moment freeze :)

i have a lot to share but this boy is down with fever.
hence, need to pay attention and give him much more motherly tlc for speedy recovery at the moment.



i'm back from the retreat yesterday.. feeling a little tired but good and 3.5kg lighter. yep, lost another 500g on the last day. very bony now.. even my face a little sunken. back to the time when i was in the hospital weight but minus all the sickness. no regrets. so much to learn.

will blog once the boy is better.