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Once I Was Wild

by The Smith Street Band

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1.
This Is It 04:06
So this is it, all my life has led to this In the kitchen with the drip, holding someone else’s drink So this is me, twice the size I wanna be Still half the person that you see as someone fit for family This is us and I am yours This is everything I hoped for This is us and I am yours This is everything This is it So this is now, always scared of being figured out You said you didn’t know how it hadn’t caught up with me by now This is us and I am yours This is everything I hoped for This is us and I am yours This is everything This is it This is us and I am yours This is everything I hoped for But I’m still fucked And I’m still bored If this is it, why do I want more? Does everyone change? Why am I still the same? Does everyone change, grow into their rage? Does everyone change, start acting their age? Does everyone change, try gilding their cage? Why am I still the same? Does everyone change? This is it
2.
Learn most about people when they’re feeling down But I’m coming up and we’re going out We’ll learn nothing from the next couple hours But it doesn’t matter if this all goes south I think about you when I walk in the bar When I stumble out your name’s in the stars I think about you when we close out The Rev Your voice going round and round in my head Yell my own name into the ether And hear yours echo back from the void I’ll organise somewhere to meet ya Bid the fondest farewells to the boys Say something to me that I can’t quite hear It’s a thousand degrees and deafening in here Shirt’s stuck to my back my hand’s stuck to yours Ignoring your friends and my mates look bored Go outside to smoke, pretend I still do I’m trying to keep up with the music and you Make each other laugh I hope there’s a chance Get out of here before you ask me to dance Yell my order into the left ear Of a bartender I can tell hates me I tell him he has nothing to fear I’ve been handling things ok lately I could talk my way into your heart You could talk your way into my bedroom I could leave now before it all starts But I would find it hard to forget you Between street lights we search for the darkening In your bag for a light and a Rizla I am trying to be funny and charming You can turn on the car crash charisma Trying to outsmart my restless heart
3.
Once I was wild, we were naked in the window under streetlights Crack the glass to let the smoke go, it can’t hurt him if he don’t know Wrapped in blankets, rain is falling, feeling taller than a pretty tall building Hands in pockets, going nowhere just walking I was an expat with an ex that had finally stopped calling my phone I was headed for the city, I didn’t wanna be alone Youth is wasted on the young, drink is wasted on the drunk Nothing’s ever loud enough to properly drown the demons out It’s a punishment to care about anything this much Nothing’s ever loud enough Once I was wild, young and on drugs in New York City, I felt so cool Like a cool song or a cool movie til the end came flooding through me I was reckless, I was detached, I was feckless, I was under attack Going nowhere, one forward two back I was conflicted and addicted to dragging my knuckles through glass Unbearable, undateable, undefeatable, unforgivable Undeniable, unreliable, all together unintelligible I was innocent, I was stupid but I was me Youth is wasted on the young, drink is wasted on the drunk Nothing’s ever loud enough to properly drown the demons out It’s a punishment to care about anything this much Nothing’s ever loud enough At the top of it all I was worse than I had really expected All the pride before the fall, I was a wild man undirected I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t sleep, I thought about death and I felt a bit free But I had to come home, I had to come down I just didn’t know when and I didn’t know how Youth is wasted on the young, drink is wasted on the drunk Nothing’s ever loud enough to properly drown the demons out It’s a punishment to care about anything this much Nothing’s ever loud enough
4.
Star Child 03:06
I’ve seen so many highways I’ve cut corners, I’ve cut brakes I’m bald tyres on home spun gravel and I’ve Bought time just to watch it unravel and I’ve lived, I’ve died, a whole life, before you arrived My star child I was barely holding on so I’m grateful for the tether I was barely holding on now I’m gonna live forever I am gonna live forever I’ve lived a life of lifetimes driven by dumb desires I’ve passed by on my first and second glances and I’ve Lost myself in trips and in trances and I I’ve lived, I’ve died, a whole life, before you arrived My star child I was barely holding on so I’m grateful for the tether I was barely holding on now I’m gonna live forever I’ve lived, I’ve died, a whole life, before you arrived My star child I was barely holding on so I’m grateful for the tether I was barely holding on now I’m gonna live forever I am gonna live forever
5.
I feel the type of hunger that comes from a pit inside ya That bubbles up and overflows when I get distracted by desire I believe in artificial flowers, just laying in bed for hours On sheets of last night’s cotton, all threadbare and spun rotten We ditch the destination for our own situation You have gravitational pull, you’re not a star you’re a fucking constellation These stupid clothes I hide in, these nonsense words I’m writing Just other ways to disappear when things get too exciting Life’s not symmetrical it rhymes Sleeping on the floor some of my happiest times I will not detach or shirk the fact, sit here til the water runs out Hiding from who I am from being a dad like a man, like an old man What do these kids have that I don’t besides clean shoes and high cheekbones? This is where I come to tell the truth, short like my temper since my youth My bones are smart, my head is dumb I trust my heart my brain is numb I will admit all my defeats I will keep all of my receipts And you will look at me the way you used to look at me Yeah you will look at me the way you used to Life’s not symmetrical it rhymes Sleeping on the floor some of my happiest times From a nest of blankets in the corner of a hospital Looking out the window telling time from the colour of the sky You’re the pencil, I’m the page You’re the patience, I’m the rage You’re the song, I’m the stage I’m the hours, your the wage You’re the burning, I’m the spark You’re the blinding, I’m the dark You’re the atom, I’m the quark I’m the freeway, you’re the dog park You’re the burning, I’m the spark You’re the child, I’m the birthmark You’re the atom, I’m the quark I’m the freeway, you’re the dog park Life’s not symmetrical it rhymes Sleeping on the floor some of my happiest times From a nest of blankets in the corner of a hospital Looking out the window telling time from the colour of the sky It’s getting too late to be what I might have been But you still look at me the way you used to look at me
6.
I’m just another lonely person looking to connect In the elongated shadows of complicated men The last year of my twenties was the worst year of my life When will I grow into the man I will be when I die? I have lived in interesting times I have let my shadow outshine Who I am Who I pretend to be I’ve got pinholes in my brain, I’ve got these weird little shakes Got my nonsensical ways, I’ve made a lot of mistakes I’ve got luxury problems, I can’t afford to solve them And I don’t think I would get in to your American heaven For all the money and time I wasted Half memories of people and places I barely tasted I met you deep in the blur, the brightest city on earth We took a trip to the stars in the dark corners of bars I have lived in interesting times I have let my shadow outshine Who I am Who I pretend to be I’ve got pinholes in my brain, I’ve got these weird little shakes I have forgotten your name, I’ve made a lot of mistakes I’ve got luxury problems, I can’t afford to solve them And I don’t think I would get in to your American heaven Living in the city gave me manic depression People they talk a good game, people they rarely listen Pack my life into my car Move to Korweinguboora And you can eat my dust You boring cunts I don’t think I would get in to your American Heaven
7.
Airport Bar 04:30
Would you recognise me at the bar? Would you recognise me at the airport? I am standing with my back against the car You are climbing in the window by the front door You said I was gonna go and be a star You said something about garnering emotional support I was starting my descent from up on mars Took me lower than a lover’s ever taken me before, than I’ve ever been before Would you recognise me in the past? Would you recognise me in the future? I look different now I’m out upon my arse I wonder if I could still glow with the same aura I said I was gonna go and be a star Truth be told I hid in hotels and in the backseats of cars I was never gonna outrun all this dark Not from the back rooms of bars, not from the back rooms of pubs, not from the back rooms of clubs, theatres, concert halls I was always in the back I don’t think I ever liked you I just think that we both liked the same drugs And that probably comes from trying to solve the same problems But when push it comes to shove I fall in and out of love And that probably comes from trying to solve the same problems Would you recognise me in the love? Would you recognise me in the anger? Can’t remember how it looked from up above Always felt like I was better off below ya If I’d have known I’d live this long and these mistakes I’d have to manage Would have tried to not do myself so much irreversible damage Don’t remember what it felt like to not be lugging round the baggage I don’t think I ever liked you I just think that we both liked the same drugs And that probably comes from trying to solve the same problems But when push it comes to shove I fall in and out of love And that probably comes from trying to solve the same problems
8.
I’m constantly in love with what you look like every day I fall hard and more heartfelt Shake off your uniform like a goodbye when you come home and save me from myself We’re gonna build a life in the shade of the mountains that our parents have made I’ve been singing the song of your spirit it’s been stuck in my head for days I’m in the middle of falling, you’re in the middle of jumping We’re always getting over something Sat next to you in your car makes me feel like the bloke who built the Taj Mahal Yeah all that sweat and masonry to say “I’m here if you need me” We’re gonna build a life in the house Tommy moved out of years ago now I’ve been writing the words of our story, I am still learning what it’s about I’m in the middle of falling, you’re in the middle of jumping We’re always getting over something I love you, we are living in the morning after I love you and one day we’ll be old together You are teaching me to dance, my two left feet and shaky hands I am slow but you are patient with me You are teaching me to dance, my two left feet and shaky hands I am slow but I am learning And I love you we are living in the morning after I love you and one day we’ll be old together
9.
The Party 04:09
You walked out of the party looking like a sunburnt farmer’s daughter The homespun, easy charming like you could marry a footballer You asked me for a lighter I asked you for you name You gratefully accept my invitation and my flame ‘Til everything stopped but I want to start it again Yeah everything stopped and that was my choice but I’ve changed my decision I was ducking in an out of lanes Dragged down by debts and my bad days Came to after a show somewhere You washing sweat out of my hair And everything stopped but I want to start it again Yeah everything stopped and that was my choice but I’ve changed my decision You walked out of the party Like the last person on earth I knew we're starting something I just didn’t know its worth until everything stopped
10.
If I’m capable of changing I know I can change for you All my life I’m rearranging sadness into something new I can feel the dread dissolving, conversations, problem solving End despair and my death wishes, when you cook I do the dishes I’ll avoid the pits and pratfalls, be a good dad, watch the football Sharp, cold water breaks the habit, does the kid know I’m an addict? One day I’ll have a teenage daughter I hope that I can be there for her One day I’ll have a teenage daughter I hope I can be there for her If I’m capable of changing what if the damage is done I can handle middle ageing as long as no one brings their gun I can feel the stress absolving, long lost friends are now responding Shopping bags of my well wishes, when I cook you do the dishes I’m trying to fix my body, I’m trying to mend my mind In the time that I was angry I treated myself so unkind One day I’ll have a teenage daughter I hope we save the planet for her One day I’ll have a teenage daughter I hope I save something for her I was looking for you before I knew I was looking for you It all felt so simple, from the borrowed guitar to how my clothes fell Cold night in October, cut shapes in the light of the Yarra Hotel Held hands in the alley, danced with my cousin, did shots at the bar And we tried on new families and surnames and friend groups felt closer to who we actually are Of course I remembered, the pain in the open, tightening my shirt It just didn’t matter, a missed rung on the ladder, climbing out of the hurt You look like an angel, you looked like the most radiant you With our kid in your belly, our life in our hands, our names on our shoes I was looking for you before I knew I was looking for you

credits

released November 21, 2025

Recorded at Bush House Studios
Engineer - Joel Taylor
Mixing - Anton Hagop
Mastering - George Georgiadis

Cover photo - Ian Laidlaw
Layout - Axil Lonergan
Text - Wil Wagner
Band name text - Will Johnstone

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The Smith Street Band Melbourne, Australia

Our 7th album 'Once I Was Wild' is out now!

vinyl/cd/tape from artistfirst.com.au

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