Chaos Prevention List

I had to let go of the term "procrastination". It spelled "fail" to me. I had to realize procrastination is just me and my addict mind creating chaos, stoking the fumes of adrenalin, putting me in touch with those years. You know. The ones where drinkin' 'n' smokin' 'n' *other stuff* ran my life.

So I came up with an alternative title. And it helps.

I know this post will mean absolutely zero to most of you out there. You guys with the handle on things, who do your dishes on time and vacuum and dust whether you need to or not.

I live on the edge a little. It used to be a lot so there is marked improvement. Seriously.
I was out with some prim and propers today. Some of whom were Irish doing the tour. I have to watch my mouth. I said shyte once and their jaws dropped. I know I can never be friends with such people.

I think cardiacs would have occurred if I'd gone into my pagan state. When I mentioned my mother's tribe, The O'Sullivan Bearas, and the massacre on Dursey Island, they told me they didn't like to dwell on that stuff, it was all history now. And they didn't care for it.

I was tempted to bring up Tuam and the baby bodies in the septic tank but my mother brought me up right so I sipped on tea while they ate their scones and I behaved myself. It was hard.

Mulling to myself around the pretty china and matching talk, I realized they would never, ever need a Chaos Prevention List. Ever.

And could put me in my place, proper-like, if I dared to say "Shyte" once again.

Procrastination - Revisited.

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Ansa on the East Coast Trail a couple of days ago. Click twice to enbiggen and you'll see her smiling.

I wrote about procrastination before. Here.
Things do get done. I was pleased to see that, yes, all that had been 'deferred' then has been taken care of. Eventually. But I find the tasks on my current list might well exceed my life span. Imagine how important this list will be to my heiresses when I pop off this mortal coil. Like, not at all. That is, if they could even find it.

So a fresh approach was needed. To make me feel better. And to see if it worked.

First of all I think the list itself was a problem. It overwhelmed me. And it all needed to be done. No escaping that. Some of it was idiotic you'd think. Like change my tires from winter to summer ones. How on earth could that be a 'task'. Well out here on the edge of the Atlantic, it's a task. The guy who changes my tires is 40km from here. And you don't just run in and out. It's a civilized thing. His wife might come out with a pot of tea and you visit. And then Tireman needs some bonding time with me. He's a collector of old gorgeous cars. And he shares his passion with a few of his fans, me included. You'd have to see his latest baby. 1959 Ford. Original upholstery. He's also a pet whisperer, you should see him with Ansa. But I digress.

Then there's a couple of visits along the way on tire day to friends who know my car and I can't just pass their houses. It's rude. So there's the whole day gobbled up to change the tires.

But I found what I have to do is transfer items every day from the long, long to do list on to a shorter list. And the daily shorter list gets done. I always include a task I was avoiding and then some 'fun' stuff which also needed attention. That included sorting the winter and summer clothes out. I have limited space here so if I don't want to be running around in an Aran sweater in a heat wave that must be done before summer kicks in. And there's my plot in the community garden which needs attention. And the Tely 10 training....

You get the picture. My daily shortlist is manageable. But if I look at the long list, I usually wind up doing nothing. Frightened.

Because in some ways, still, I'm 3 years old

Procrastination

I have a PhD in procrastination. I don't know why I do it. Which drives me crazy in itself as I am over-analytical by nature. It's like I save up stuff in case there is NOTHING to do. Insanity, right? As if by fobbing off and deferring I can live forever or something. Do most people die with an unfulfilled To Do List do you think?

I live in fear that someday, somehow, somewhere I will sit twiddling my thumbs at the end of The List. Finally complete. Waiting for the grim reaper to scythe me up, gibbering and drooling into my Ensure.

Right now the list is long. Persnickety stuff. Like 8 big boxes in the front hall that need decanting. But to decant them means moving the bookshelves (after offloading them) out of my office to said hall. Then offloading the existing shelves in the hall and bringing them upstairs to the craft room, my cute liddle craft room. Then shelves in my bedroom will be moved to my office and reloaded. And then a smaller shelf from the utility room moved to my bedroom and useless shelves from the craft room moved to the utility room.

Okay - you in the back, stop snoring. And the rest of you, unglaze your eyes please. Pay attention!

And then crafts decanted from the big shelves in the family room and put in the craft room. And then there will be room for all the contents (books, movies, albums) of the boxes removed from Daughter's basement in September and brought out here. I know it sounds like I'm chasing my tail all around the house here but seriously it makes total sense.

So yay, I say unto you, I am going to apply what has always worked for me before. I commit to one hour a day on the timer, to start-up this massive mobilization and put all the STUFF where it belongs.

It will be interesting to see how long it takes.

One of these Days

{where the cabin will sit, if and when I get around to it!}

1. I’ll not procrastinate and then when even a small little glitch occurs in my life it won’t be cataclysmic in its domino effects.

2. I’ll actually be able to enjoy the opening up of a day when simply everything planned doesn’t happen for one reason or another.

3. I’ll actually buy the daffodil bulbs and plant them all over the little hill by the sea.

4. I’ll go to look at some small cabins and order one and get it installed way up high amongst the trees on the hill at the back of my house so I have somewhere just to meditate, dream, design without phones or computers distracting me.

5. I will actually say: How exciting, I have literally nothing to do!

6. I will sit down and take a week and edit my short story collection.

7. I will utilize a wonderful prepaid gift my daughter gave me of a service creating a book of my pictures and poems.

8. I will welcome drop in visitors and not get edgy because of (1).

9. I will have all ingredients on hand to cook a spontaneous large dinner and get on the phone and invite people over that day, last minute, like a few of my much admired friends do.

10. I will actually show up at the old folks’ home near me and say: Hey, I’d like to volunteer, anyone need some reading to?

11. I will clean a room every day, tidy up as I go, clean the bathroom after use and not be cringing when drop-ins wish to use it.

12. I will do something with my stash of wools and the plans I have to recycle old aran sweaters into awesome bags.

13. I will decide that enough is enough. More is only more. Simplicity of possessions and desires makes for serenity and like, um, discipline and routine makes for good orderly direction.

One of these days I won't behave as if I've got 200 years to live.

PROCRASTINATION!

pro·cras·ti·nate /proʊˈkræstəˌneɪt, prə-/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[proh-kras-tuh-neyt, pruh-] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation verb, -nat·ed, -nat·ing.
–verb (used without object) 1. to defer action; delay: to procrastinate until an opportunity is lost.
–verb (used with object) 2. to put off till another day or time; defer; delay.

Does anyone have a cure for this deadly disease?

· I’ve tried all the self-help I can stomach.

· I’ve tried timers, lists, rewards and punishments

· Both positive and negative reinforcement.

· Mediation, meditation, journaling, praying, committing to another as to tasking.

· I’ve tried cleaning up the workspace.

· Reviewing the task list every day and picking three to tick off before doing anything else.

My task list gets longer and longer so that the bottom keeps vanishing beneath the computer screen like someone drowning.

Everyone treats it as a kind of joke, ha-ha.

But the consequences are a form of chaos that does not sit well with me. Piles of well- paying work littering the office. Three briefcases full of work sitting outside the office door.

Piles to the left of me, piles to the right of me and I’m stuck in the middle – with my procrastinating self.

And all I want to do is read some back issues of The New Yorker, or one of the three books I’ve started:
The Omnivore’s Dilemma, Michael Pollan

Surfacing, Margaret Atwood (a re-read for me)

Easier than you think, Sylvia Boorstein


Or, head off to see “In Bruges” which I hear is a damn fine movie

Or, work on chapter outlines for the great Newfoundland novel.

Or whine away in my journal about how backlogged and hopeless I feel.

Or get on the phone and whine to friends.

Or write a blog entry and whine……….