Retreat

re·treat

/riˈtrēt/

Verb

(of an army) Withdraw from enemy forces as a result of their superior power or after a defeat.

Noun

An act of moving back or withdrawing.

Synonyms


verb.

retire - withdraw - recede - fall back - draw back

noun.

retirement - refuge - withdrawal - recession - shelter


Shelter. Refuge. But mainly withdrawal for me. A time of reflection and a gathering of spirit. Refreshment - to revitalize. Affirm the beauty of the earth. Invigorate the spirit.

Know that the power of goodness, kindness and love exists in this world and we can make it in this image rather that those of the opposing forces which are all about money.

I project love. Love returns.

Back from a weekend of spiritual retreat, where the sun shone and stones were cast in the waters of the lake as we stood barefoot in the sand while the wind blew around, through and on us, unwrapping layer upon layer of self. All is exposed to the light of day. And drums beat to the rhythms of our hearts far into the night. And joy shook me to my foundations.

All is well.

Gratitude

I'm at the age, like many of us, when I never take another spring for granted. I mean no matter what the age, we never should. But at my age, well, when I see Spring nudging her way over the horizon and down the bay and up my driveway, well, Ansa and I greet her with whoops and, yes, a wee bit of tears on my part. For Ansa just lives in the moment, as I try to do most of the time. My dog is one of my best teachers.

But now and again, like this glorious morning, I look off at the boats in the distance getting ready for the crab season, and out at the bay which is like a mirror, with the sun bathing every living thing in the spirit of renewal and rebirth and think: there's another summer in this old girl yet.

Through the Doorway

I had all the symptoms of serious malaise. Exhausted (though I prefer the word enervated)coupled with a mild depression(I say mild because I've had a serious relationship with severe) with the "what's it all about Alfie"-ness of the situation just about doing my head in and feeling I was wearing a cloak of invisibility. I want to snap "who cares" at anyone who dares ask me how I am, but I'm better brought up than that so I resort to "i vant to be left alone" a la Garbo but without her money or her gorgeousness and with far more manners. I couldn't force myself out of it and I refuse to medicate.

I just hated leaving Toronto this time and all my good family/friends and lovely clients there. I spent some marvellous five hour lunches/dinners with some where we got caught up on all the doings.

I wouldn't trade living here for anything but I'd like to package up the dear ones and move them in here. So funk happened. A blue funk of loneliness and a lot of work and deadlines and the why-mes waiting around for me to convert them into why-not-mes.

And today is a biting sun-drenched indigo day on the bay and I awoke and got up at dawn. My dreams had been astonishing. Albeit about someone else (other facets of myself as I've learned). I was telling this other someone to "Suck and chew the marrow out of life."

A message obviously for me.

Early this morning, I walked through the shadowed doorway into sunlight and an astonishing lifting of spirits. I feel renewed, refreshed and ready to start some serious sucking and chewing.

Bring it on!