I'm the eldest, in the middle, with baby sister on my lap, surrounded by my four brothers.1959.
We come together from 4 different time zones every Sunday afternoon and have been doing this for nearly 6 years. We never miss. We tune in from cars, from parking lots, from beaches, from cabins, from little nooks in our homes away from everybody else. We are siblings.
The conversations lasts for hours. You'd think 6 people would have run out of topics, out of conversation. Some of us quietly get served dinner or lunch or a snack by spouses or grandchildren who tiptoe away quietly knowing this is a sacred, private time for the 6 of us.
We were six siblings, now we are 5. We lost our third eldest in November last year from cancer. It broke us all for a while. So 5. We changed the name of our group to his name.
We go on Zoom religiously for this weekly meeting and check each other out, talk of health, talk of childhood, talk of memory and challenges.
It was fairly uptight when we started, little deep or personal sharing but as the years swept onwards, there are no holds barred and often we go on our private WhatsApp during the week too if things are getting a bit rough with one of us. We are carrying the fifth born of us at the moment with a rare form of cancer he has been diagnosed with. He had an operation last Friday.
We have the odd political disagreement but are secure, very secure, in the knowledge that we care deeply for each other and are there through thick and thin.
We don't talk about how extraordinary this is. But we have said to each other we have come a long way in getting to this place of peace and love and harmony. Something that would have been impossible to imagine even a decade ago. There were mini-alliances within our sibling framework and a lot of petty infighting and yes, jealousies and failures. Magic like this doesn't happen. It is work and consciousness and someone breaking the mould of silence and secrets.
But we did it. We now trust each other without reservation. And look out for each other in thick or thin.
I feel blessed.
I'm so happy you have achieved this! Hurray for you all.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jean, we are very lucky and I believe it is quite unusual as we live in many parts of the world and different countries.
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So many families permanently disconnect, so that you have all come together and are close is an decent achievement. The worst words between my siblings and myself has been a rare sarcastic comment.
ReplyDeleteYes, very grateful for this, Andrew and admittedly, astonished at how far we've come. We were raised in a very challenging household.
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You have done well. I especially like the vision of you sitting at your computers with minions bringing sustenance while you chat :)
ReplyDeleteMy parents weren't close to their siblings and I have never been close to mine.
The complete lack of support I've had from them this year has damaged my perception, too.
What a great idea -- it would be an improvement on the group text my siblings and I used over Dad's last year of life. We reported to each other on his condition and kept the group after he died. Face-to-face Zoom would be even better! Y'all are an inspiration..xo
ReplyDeleteWonderful!
ReplyDeleteIt really is Marge😊
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On my side of the family, the sum total of it all is my daughter and son-in-law, and two grandchildren. That's it. We live quite far apart but see each other several times a year. That's enough for me. So far, we have never had to deal with crises and the relationships are pretty solid. We will be visiting again in December. I could do without the five-hour drive, but that's the way it is! Have a great weekend - David
ReplyDeleteVery tidy indeed David. Yes, I was driving across Canada a lot but now the thought of a 5 hour drive makes me shake, so I understand. Grandgirl and her partner come here in mid December so thrilled about that. She stays with me for about a week and her partner stays with his mum who moved here a few years ago. It all works out very well. Quality time.
DeleteBackatcha on the weekend, I'm sure you'll have photos to share.
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