The Devil's Dictionary and Other Works Quotes

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The Devil's Dictionary and Other Works The Devil's Dictionary and Other Works by Gahan Wilson
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The Devil's Dictionary and Other Works Quotes Showing 1-11 of 11
“Philosophy - A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.”
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary and Other Works
“DISOBEDIENCE, n. The silver lining to the cloud of servitude.”
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary and Other Works
“Christian - One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.”
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary and Other Works
“Alliance - In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.”
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary and Other Works
“Hippogriff, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was itself a compound creature, half lion and half eagle. The hippogriff was actually, therefore, only one-quarter eagle, which is two dollars and fifty cents in gold. The study of zoology is full of surprises.”
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary and Other Works
“ABNORMAL, adj. Not conforming to standards in matters of thought and conduct. To be independent is to be abnormal, to be abnormal is to be detested.

A striving toward the straiter [sic] resemblance of the Average Man than he hath to himself, whoso attaineth thereto shall have peace, the prospect of death and the hope of Hell.”
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary and Other Works
“Revolution - In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.”
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary and Other Works
“Conversation: A fair for the display of the minor mental commodities, each exhibitor being too intent upon the arrangement of his own wares to observe those of his neighbor.”
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary and Other Works
“Age - That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no longer the vigor to commit.”
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary and Other Works
“Phonograph - An irritating toy that restores life to dead noises.”
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary and Other Works
“FOOL, n. A person who pervades the domain of intellectual speculation and diffuses himself through the channels of moral activity. He is omnific, omniform, omnipercipient, omniscience, omnipotent. He it was who invented letters, printing, the railroad, the steamboat, the telegraph, the platitude and the circle of the sciences. He created patriotism and taught the nations war — founded theology, philosophy, law, medicine and Chicago. He established monarchical and republican government. He is from everlasting to everlasting — such as creation's dawn beheld he fooleth now. In the morning of time he sang upon primitive hills, and in the noonday of existence headed the procession of being. His grandmotherly hand was warmly tucked-in the set sun of civilization, and in the twilight he prepares Man's evening meal of milk-and-morality and turns down the covers of the universal grave. And after the rest of us shall have retired for the night of eternal oblivion he will sit up to write a history of human civilization.”
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary and Other Works