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302 pages, Hardcover
First published July 19, 2022
MY MOTHER’S DYING wish was for me to take a vacation.
“Just look! Nobody in a million years will ever possibly believe that this person, right here, bested the legendary Kennedy Monroe to become Jack Stapleton’s girlfriend.”
“Nobody’s supposed to do that! Don’t you know how many people drown in that river every year?”
“Why would I know that?”
“Everybody knows that! Never swim in the Brazos.”
“Have you seen my other girlfriends? Have you seen Kennedy Monroe? She’s nothing like any of them. She’s short. Her teeth are crooked. She barely wears any makeup. She doesn’t self-tan, wear extensions, or dye her hair. She’s a totally plain, unremarkable person. She’s the epitome of ordinary.”
HAVE I EXPLAINED what I do for a living?
I usually try to put that off as long as possible. Because once you know—once I actually name the profession—you’ll make a long list of assumptions about me … and all of them will be wrong.