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312 pages
First published June 27, 2022
“And I have a filthy mouth. You should really see it in action. It’s impressive.”
♡
“Tiny marshmallows? Are you trying to seduce me? Because that’s really not necessary. I’m already the sluttiest slut for you.”
♡
This is life-changing. I���ve been fantasizing about this for years.” “We only met a year ago.”
♡
“You. You seduced me and then left me. And you don’t even have the fucking human decency to look upset about it. You could have at least gotten a little less pretty in the time we’ve been apart. You didn’t even have the decorum to drunk-dial me at 3am and leave me an incoherent voicemail professing your undying affection. What the fuck, August?”
♡
“You don’t have to talk to me,” … “But if you want to talk, I’m here to listen.” Of course he is. He’s always there. The rock in my chaotic life.
♡
“I think if we keep this up, this thing could go sideways.”
“I live sideways already.”
“Just say what you want. Tell me.” Emery stomps his foot and yells, “I want someone to fucking fight for me for once, goddammit.”
My focus is a kaleidoscope of shapes and colors. I don’t know up from down most days.I liked it, but wasn't super impressed, mostly because of the lack of depth. There's not much of a plot here and a ton of details were skimmed over. This was a fluffy and light story dealing with some very serious emotional, physical and psychological traumas.
“What do you have against me?”It felt like August (not sure how old?) was written like Superman. He was this cookie cutter, Eagle Scout, dressed perfect, looked perfect, mows lawns for free, had the perfect dick, and was a pro at deep throating on his very first try. He's also kinda boring (what exactly was his job?), so he blended into the background. This could've been done on purpose by the author to make Emery pop or it could have been because Emery took up so much space in the book, so that there was very little room left for August.
August wets his lips and keeps his eyes on the road. “Well, you’re impulsive, chaotic, and unpredictable. To name a few.”
Well, that was incredibly blunt and unnecessary. Not to mention, entirely accurate. “So? You’re boring, nice, and reliable. I’d still fuck you.”
"I accept you for who you are at this moment. You don't need to feel bad or embarrassed about any of it."
"You don't let people in, Em."
"Duh. They can't disappoint me that way."
"I'm sorry," I whisper, and August digs his fingers into my back.
"Never apologize for that. Never."
Quick, brain, think unsexy thoughts... unicorns, grass, baseball. Shit, now I'm just picturing August in a tight baseball uniform riding a unicorn through a field. Why am I even like this?
"We grow accustomed to the Dark when Light is put away."
Emery stomps his foot and yells, "I want someone to fucking fight for me once, goddammit."
"It's okay."
"It's not okay. None of that is okay."
"I know, but that's my life. I've managed."
"I'm practically a walking encyclopedia of issues."
"God, I feel like I'm at a support group for masochists."
He accepts me just as I am, in this moment.
Of course, it had to be Emery, my infuriating stepbrother, who’s ignited this inside me. He’s an impossibility. He’s the one thing I can’t let myself have.
A grunt escapes him, and then those hands of his are rubbing up and down my back in an attempt to warm me.
But he doesn’t know.
He doesn’t know that just being here with me, despite it all, is enough. No one’s ever held me like this. No one’s ever cared for me like this.
He looks so peaceful. Like a fucking angel. If only some of that light and goodness could extend into me, then maybe I’d make it through this life a little healthier, a little happier.
he chuckles, and I peek up at him and see those green eyes looking back at me. I mean, I can’t really see them well, but I know the exact color because I’ve studied them for so long.
I have a tattoo on my arm that’s just the right shade. Took me forever to find it.
His essence is engraved on my skin––a reminder that he’s way too good for me, but maybe, if I’m lucky, some of his goodness will rub off on me.
I can’t remember a time when anyone else put me first. But August always does, even when he doesn’t want to, even when he shouldn’t. He’s always put me first.
“You don’t need to make light of it.”
“Hell yeah, I do. It’s either that or sob uncontrollably. Sometimes it’s better to laugh.”
August mulls over that for a moment and then says softly, “It’s okay if that’s who you are.”
I exhale, “What?”
“All of that is okay. You don’t need to change who you are.”
“Well, my therapist would disagree. He’s always harping on coping mechanisms and personal growth….”
“I know, and that’s good, but I mean…” he swallows. “I accept you for who you are at this moment. You don’t need to feel bad or embarrassed about any of it.”He presses a small kiss to the tip of my nose.
And oh my god, my heart grows ten sizes bigger. It won’t fit in my chest anymore. It will have to live outside my body. Maybe August can tuck it away and keep it safe.
I’m a fucking work in progress, thank you.
“Better?” he asks.
“Yeah.” But he doesn’t understand. He has no clue what I mean. I’m better simply because he’s near me. He’s the warmth that I’ve been craving my entire life. I didn’t realize I’d been missing it until I’d had it.I’ve never really had roots, but with August I feel like maybe I could put some down. It feels so right being with him. His arms feel more like home than any place I’ve ever been.
welcome, this is officially Emery’s fanpage 🤭🤣
but Emery is just…Emery. I’m learning that you’ve just gotta roll with it. And maybe even try to enjoy it along the way
okay, now i’m jealous >:(