British Quotes

“Race is a social construct. This does not mean that it is invalid or unimportant.”
― Adam Rutherford, How to Argue With a Racist: History, Science, Race and Reality

“Paul had the impression he often had in the United Kingdom, of having just been subtly insulted in an obscure way that would take too much energy to parse, and as always he couldn't tell if the insult was real or just a typically Canadian case of postcolonial insecurity.”
― Emily St. John Mandel, The Glass Hotel

“At some distance down the corridor it seemed suddenly as if somebody started to beat on a bass drum.

He listened to it for a few seconds and realized that it was just his heart beating.

He listened for a few seconds more and realized that it wasn’t his heart beating, it was somebody down the corridor beating on a bass drum.”
― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything

“They wear their professionalism as a decent gentleman will wear his suit: he will not let ruffians or circumstance tear it off him in the public gaze; he will discard it when, and only when, he wills to do so, and this will invariably be when he is entirely alone. It is, as I say, a matter of 'dignity'.”
― Kazuo Ishiguro, The Remains of the Day

“We ask those who join us to march with us in a great and hazardous adventure. We ask them to be prepared to sacrifice all, but to do so for no small and unworthy ends. We ask them to dedicate their lives to building in this country a movement of the modern age, which by its British expression shall transcend, as so often before in our history, every precursor of the Continent in conception and in constructive achievement. We ask them to rewrite the greatest pages of British history by finding for the spirit of their age its highest mission in these islands. Neither to our friends nor to the country do we make any promises; not without struggle and ordeal will the future be won. Those who march with us will certainly face abuse, misunderstanding, bitter animosity, and possibly the ferocity of struggle and of danger. In return, we can only offer to them the deep belief that they are fighting that a great land may live.”
― Oswald Mosley

“Take a community of Dutchmen of the type of those who defended themselves for fifty years against all the power of Spain at a time when Spain was the greatest power in the World. Intermix with them a strain of those inflexible French Huguenots who gave up home and fortune and left their Country forever at the time of the revocation of the Edict of Nantes. The product must obviously be one of the most rugged, virile, unconquerable races ever seen upon Earth. Take this formidable people and train them for seven generations in constant warfare against savage men and ferocious beasts, in circumstances under which no weakling could survive, place them so that they acquire exceptional skills with weapons and in horsemanship, give them a Country which is eminently suited to the tactics of the huntsman, the marksman and the rider. Then, finally, put a fine temper upon their military qualities by a dour fatalistic Old Testament religion and an ardent and consuming patriotism. Combine all of these qualities and all these impulses in one individual, and you have the modern Boer. The most formidable antagonist who ever crossed the path of Imperial Britain.”
― Arthur Conan Doyle, The Great Boer War

“In unison, the two men downed their scalding cup of tea without ever breaking eye contact with each other. If I didn't know any better, I'd say they were into each other. But of course, that was not what this was. As soon as they emptied their cup, the pair gasped for air to soothe their burning tongues. "Sorry, I dropped something," Derek lied, purely as an excuse to dive under his chair and fan his mouth with his hands. William used his embroidered handkerchief to waft fresh air on his face, looking equally as red as the other man. Bloody British vampires.”
― Laura Greenwood, Fangs For Nothing

“Newlyn does not look like the Cornish towns on either side: Penzance and Mousehole. Those are resort towns where British vacationers practice that peculiarly British pastime of strolling the beaches and walkways, bundled in sweaters and mufflers. But Newlyn is a fishing town - or, increasingly, an out-of-work fishing town.”
― Mark Kurlansky, Cod: A Biography of the Fish that Changed the World

“Despite being English, they served an edible meal." -A Long Petal of the Sea, page 108”
― Isabel Allende

“The intention of the French was to cruise about the Bay of Biscay looking for British ships to capture or, if they were unable to do that, to prevent the British from doing any thing which they appeared to want to do.”
― Susanna Clarke, Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell

“Anti-Semitism is one of the only forms of racial bigotry that punches upwards to perceived power”
― Adam Rutherford, How to Argue With a Racist: History, Science, Race and Reality

“Der Engländer, der sich im Urwald von Nigeria zum Dinner umkleidet, fühlt, daß diese Handlung einen Sinn hat.”
― Joseph Campbell, The Hero With a Thousand Faces

“The British Sonnet

Rule Britannia,
Britannia rule the waves.
Britons never, never, never,
Shall be slaves.
Around the world we looted,
We even championed slavery.
But none of it really matters,
Consequences don't apply to royalty.
Hitler massacred so many people,
Which is petty compared to our atrocities.
Perhaps that's why Britain is so great,
None can compete with our killing spree.
It's time to civilize this backward Britannia,
By righting the wrongs of British Barbariana”
― Abhijit Naskar, Heart Force One: Need No Gun to Defend Society

“Remember when I used to be dumb? Well I'm better now. [Stan Laurel - 'Pack Up Your Troubles."]”
― A.J. Marriot, Laurel & Hardy - The British Tours

“Certainly,' said Trymon. He picked up the knife, weighing it for balance and accuracy. 'I must congratulate you, master. I can see that we must all get up very early in the morning to get the better of you.'
Galder laughed. And the knife left Trymon's hand at such speed that (because of the somewhat sluggish nature of Disc light) it actually grew a bit shorter and a little more massive as it plunged, with unerring aim, towards Galder's neck.
It didn't reach it. Instead, it swerved to one side and began a fast orbit — so fast that Galder appeared suddenly to be wearing a metal collar. He turned around, and to Trymon it seemed that he had suddenly grown several feet taller and much more powerful.
The knife broke away and shuddered into the door a mere shadow's depth from Trymon's ear.
'Early in the morning?' said Galder pleasantly. 'My dear lad, you will need to stay up all night.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Light Fantastic

“I said a picnic,' said Quin sternly. 'In Britain a picnic means sitting on the ground and being uncomfortable, preferably in the rain.”
― Eva Ibbotson, The Morning Gift

“She looked up at me with a small smile. That damn smile that now really had my breath caught in my throat. Bloody hell, this girl was going to be trouble.”
― Magan Vernon, Heired Lines

“Bloody Hell.
Why did she still have to smell so good?
If sunshine had a smell, this was it.”
― Magan Vernon, Heired Lines

“I thought there was a big, creepy bug crawling on me. Guess it was just your fingers, William. Terribly sorry about that. Maybe next time you’ll learn to keep them to yourself.”
― Magan Vernon, Heired Lines

“I’m not a number. I’m a free man. And here is a pot plant, novelty coffee mug and a framed picture of my kids to prove it.”
― The Prisoner

“The leading research on High Altitude Observatory Diseases (HAOD) is coming out of the USA from a British Chartered Engineer.”
― Steven Magee

“The British know USA Independence Day on July 4th as ‘Treason Day’.”
― Steven Magee

“I am a British guy living in the USA.”
― Steven Magee

“I am a British guy with a USA family.”
― Steven Magee

“I suspect there are undercurrents of racism towards British people in the USA due to Independence Day, July 4th.”
― Steven Magee

“I am a British guy with a USA passport.”
― Steven Magee

“So to foreign parts he went again and, loving her so dearly, wrote letters to her which he tore up without sending lest she should think him foolish - such being the British temperament

"The Staircase”
― Hugh Walpole, All Souls' Night

“I sometimes think that what civilized serenity the British people possess, and small but real ability to smile at themselves, is chiefly due to their good luck in having had William Shakespeare born one of their company.”
― Fritz Leiber, Four Ghosts in Hamlet

“Die meisten nahmen an, dass alle Deutschen fleißig, zielstrebig und ordentlich seien. I’m from Germany und daher made in Germany resultierte zu einem Qualifikations- und Qualitätssiegel – auch für Menschen. Ich erntete herzliche Begrüßungen und einen ganzen Strauß voller Vorurteile, die mir im Großen und Ganzen aber immer zu Gute kamen. Und wenn man es dann noch schaffte, nicht allen negativen Vorurteilen zu entsprechen (humorlos, spießig, emotionslos), hatte man alle Vorteile auf seiner Seite. Man musste seine Karten nur gut auszuspielen wissen.”
― Ronja Maue, Koks im Zuckerstreuer und Kakerlaken in der Wand

“He may become British; he can never become English.”
― George Mikes, How to Be a Brit