jay's Reviews > My Killer Vacation

me looking at my frog plushie: this book is bad


I will never trust any of you ever again. You all are just lying to me. I will start scrolling through this website with my eyes closed. You posting a five star review? I ain't reading that. I'm not looking. It's all just a conspiracy to make me read bad books. I'm deleting my Goodreads so I'm not tempted by your fake reviews anymore. Who is paying you to deceit me? Hope you are at least making good bag with this cruel joke.


i desperately want to know whether straight people are okay. cause wtf was sexy about this


this was some insta love bullshit i tell you. myles was ready to rip her panties 0.0000000000001 seconds into meeting her. they talked about sex 0.00001 seconds into meeting. there's the possibility that i am too asexual to get it but... you all really look at someone who you have known for one millisecond and imagine being on all fours for them?? that's wild?

Myles is like "I'm not gentle in bed and she needs that. Tenderness."
He's known her for five minutes at this point. And I'm not even kidding. This isn't a joke. Literally five minutes. Are allosexuals okay???? He doesn't even know her goddamn name?????


Taylor tells him that she likes dating boring finance guys in suits but also wants them to angry fuck her in bed.
Who shares this ten minutes into a conversation with a stranger?
Also they pick this point up several pages later when she is like "No-one ever gets my sexy kitten energy, maybe i need hook up panties and a more sexy vibe" and Myles is like "nah, you're fine" and she's like "You pick up on my big sexy kitten energy" and Myles starts salivating and is like "oh god, oh fuck i do" LIKE OBVIOUSLY???? BECAUSE YOU TOLD HIM????

which brings me to another point: why doesn't she just talk to her finance guys about wanting to be killed during sex??? it's not that hard?? she could tell Myles five seconds into their first conversation? just tell your partners?? have you heard of Communication??? straight people?? are you good??


Myles is so ... not attractive? He steals her panties and she's like cool with it. With this stranger stealing her underwear fifteen minutes after meeting.
He also keeps going on about how she is wife material and wouldn't want to have rough sex. I didn't know wife material means being vanilla? Different people like different things? You don't have to dress the part to enjoy rough sex?
Also him constantly going on about how she is "someone else's wife". She's her own fucking person what are you on about? Why make everything about her about a man that doesn't even exist?


One time pretty early on, during their first conversation, he just randomly licks her stomach? The writing didn't even mention him being on the same level as her stomach - which would be some way down considering she is apparently tiny and he's huge. So what i was imagining is him just stopping mid conversation and kneeling before her to lick her stomach. Who does that??? Also why, if all he thinks about how he shouldn't fuck her and then he just goes and licks her stomach?

Imagine a man you've known for five minutes licking your stomach. I don't care how hot he allegedly is - I'm running.


they later have a fight and he is like "stop strutting that ass so sexy" and she is like "are you saying, i'm asking for it" and he's like "i would never but you are clearly offering" - this isn't any less disgusting and rapey than if he said she was asking for it? wtf?


at another point he acts like they are soulmates because he was choking her but they get interrupted and quickly look at each other and nod their agreement that they are still cool. and they say true love is dead

it definitely is though


also: "Well let me clarify. I can see your tight asshole and nothing could stop that from being cute, but the rest of you? Now you're a girl who likes to fuck dirty."
i have so many questions


honestly every minute i had to spend in Myle's head gave me a headache and took years from my life


the writing also ain't it and i have zero hopes for this murder mystery tbh. i should have learned my lesson with Verity because thriller/mystery and romance do not mix well


TL:DR: this review has so many question marks because i do not understand the good ratings this book is getting. dnf at page 78. i simply cannot do this anymore.
also the fact that this came out on my birthday is a hate crime against me personally