Pinocchio

Yet another live action adaptation from Disney of one of their beloved cartoon classics. You wonder why they bothered in this instance when most of the characters are CGI anyway with the exception of Tom Hanks, seriously miscast as the eccentric inventor. As usual with these modern-day Disney productions, this is a bland and soulless affair that goes through the motions without ever engaging the senses. It's not quite as long as some of these remakes can be, thankfully, but it fails to stir the senses in every respect and I find it quite telling that the CGI Pinnocchio has less humanity in his eyes than the old animated version.

Where do you even begin? You have to wonder why some Disney exec hasn't come right out and said the quiet part out loud, that they are on a quest to destroy everything that was great about Disney and completely make that legacy unrecognizable. Pinocchio doesn't seem to be an active participant in the movie he's more a victim of circumstance. He doesn't make any decisions, he's just kind of along for the ride and he really didn't have to suffer any consequences for choices. The original movie actually taught kids something valuable, and in this one they've watered down every single one of those elements. Apparently the lesson that they want to teach kids in this one is that there is no personal responsibility there's always somebody else to blame. Lying is no longer something that is to be avoided if it can be used as a superpower to get you your own way and it's a benefit to you. What an absolute disappointment.

Robert Zemeckis is a filmmaker responsible for some of the most colorful, ambitious, and uniquely fanciful films of all time. While his Pinocchio remake is certainly not entirely without its effective moments of visual splendor, it pains me to say that he has continued the trend of live-action Disney remakes that somehow manage to take everything about the original and make it significantly worse.

Every character and setting in this is less expressive and vibrant than it was in 1940, completely draining them of the personality and emotional resonance that once made them so memorable and beautiful.

The voice performances are lacklustre, to say the least. Every line of dialogue from Jiminy and Pinocchio is delivered with the exact same tone of voice. There is no variety to emotions, so the stakes are never clear.

Monstro the whale is not built up at all in this version, so any sense that he is a feared, menacing presence is gone. The tension is nonexistent in the finale. The story's other villainous characters are equally disappointing, coming across as goofy and incompetent rather than calculating and manipulative.

Worst of all, there are some narrative changes made in this version, and all of them make the themes of consequence and repentance lose their meaning and weight.

In this film, Pinocchio never has any moments when he learns the negative consequences of lying, stealing, and self-indulgence like he did in the original. He seems to know these things from the get-go, and he only finds himself in the marionette show and on pleasure island because of circumstance rather than by deliberate choice.

Outside of a couple of visually creative scenes, this is a shallow, soulless copy of a once-profound story. Not to mention that it comes across as insultingly disingenuous, as we all know quite well that Disney executives today don't actually know or care about the difference between right and wrong.

'Pinocchio' (2022)

Opening thoughts: Will admit to not being a fan on the whole of the Disney live action remakes/re-imaginings. The only ones for me that were above good were 'The Jungle Book' and 'Cinderella', while 'Aladdin' and 'Lady and the Tramp' were especially underwhelming. There were quite a few reasons for seeing this 2022 'Pinocchio'. One was my love for Disney. Two was for the cast, with a particularly high opinion of Tom Hanks. The 1940 Disney film is one of their best and one of the best animated films ever made in my view. And Carlo Collodi's source material is a classic.

Despite the potential that it had (though my expectations were mixed due to not being a fan of the Disney remakes as said), to me the film was well below average and a big disappointment. There are a few good things here, but the worst of the many bad things are very poor indeed and it loses so much of what made the 1940 film so brilliant. It is a failure as a remake, but this viewer has always a film etc on its own terms but the film fails in this regard as well. Actually love much of the work of Robert Zemeckis, with 'Back to the Future' and 'Who Framed Roger Rabbit' being major personal favourites, but had a very hard time believing that this came from him.

Good things: There are good things. There is some nice, handsome photography and production design. Absolutely loved the cuckoo clocks, which were very imaginatively designed and magical.

Hanks gives the best performance, his Geopetto having a good deal of warmth and sincerity. Very close behind is Keegan Michael Key, giving his absolute all to Honest John and he is fun to watch.

Bad things: On the other hand, there is a lot that doesn't work. The rest of the acting doesn't work. Benjamin Evans Ainsworth is very bland and does little to make Pinocchio endearing or interesting, while Joseph Gordon Levitt comes over as far too hammy and mean spirited as Jiminy. Cynthia Erivo does her best but is underused and the Blue Fairy doesn't really do an awful lot, and Luke Evans is pretty much wasted as a character that doesn't have anywhere near enough of the nightmarish menace he had in the 1940 film.

Moreover, the CGI is very poor. It looks very cheap, the early 90s video game like look sticks out too much like a sore thumb and looks significantly lower-budgeted. Monstro fares worst, looking like something out of a SyFy original. Pinocchio's expressions are lifeless, have no nuance and almost unintentionally creepy, making the expressions in the 'Lion King' remake look more expressive and nuanced in comparison. Only Geopetto and to a lesser extent Honest John make much of an impression as characters, Pinocchio is too much of a brat, is too perfect and doesn't learn anything which makes his journey near pointless. Jiminy is annoying while the villains are underwritten plot devices, especially the Coachman.

Zemeckis' direction has no life or inspiration, very by the numbers, and it looked as if he was not that interested in the project or liked the source material that much. That may not be the case in real life but this viewer got that sense here. Especially in the climax, which has no tension whatsoever, no emotion and is rushed, not helped by Monstro's cheap design and complete lack of menace. A complete watering down of one of Disney's greatest ever climaxes. The lack of resolution at the end was a mistake and made the journey and the film feel incomplete. The songs are forgettable at best and cringe-worthy at worst, the the Coachman's also came over as out of place and wastes Evans' fine singing. The script is very stilted and the story has no charm, fun, emotion or atmosphere of any kind. It is just bland, dully paced and going through the motions storytelling that has nothing to it or any point.

Closing thoughts: Concluding, hugely disappointing. Of all the Disney remakes, this is a contender for the worst.

3/10.

I watched the film and it was not that bad but it wasn't that good either. Some of it was cringe to be honest. I didn't like Honest John and Gideon in this version. Honest John sounds nothing like the 1940 version. The Coachman song was fine and so was the other songs. I found the song the Blue Fairy sang good and the part where Pinocchio tells his father that he loves him was wholesome too. But there's another thing I don't like..I don't like how they changed it to hint that Geppetto had another son before Pinocchio and a wife. I don't know, it's cool to think that Geppetto had a wife but the son thing is just very not realistic. It sounds like a fanfiction. That wasn't in the 1940 version and I think it shouldn't have been there. I think one of the points of the 1940 version was that Geppetto was happy to have a son for the FIRST TIME. Also, the lesson is kinda a bit blurred now because Pinocchio didn't really make bad choices besides going to the puppet theater and lying. The lesson was not to make bad choices, and Pinocchio seems more wise in this version. I also liked the idea of the story changing a bit, but it shouldn't have been changed too much. They also should've at least got a real boy for Pinocchio turning into a real boy. This was also a bit boring. This is just my opinion, I recommend watching so you could see if you like it or not. I don't think this is absolutely horrible, but I can see why people hate this.