Wolf - Er wird dich holen

Firstly, I have to confess that I got so fed up with this film that I left after 1hr, so if anything good happens beyond the 60min point then, dang it, I missed it!! But I based on what I DID see it's pretty unlikely.

The premise of a Werewolf in Roman Briton was very appealing. Indeed, the legend of the lycanthrope is referenced in Gaius Petronius Arbiter's 'Satyricon' written in AD60 - so there is even some historical relevance. But that's where the interesting stuff ends.

The acting is wooden, the costumes are too bright and shiny and the "hey, my buddy just bought a drone, let's use that for every shot" cinematography was a real drag. Sadly, it wasn't even bad enough to be charming. The only positive thing I can say is that some of the lighting was dramatic. As for everything else, Poorly executes families tropes from a bygone era.

Oh Dear.

Start with the good bits. Costumes and make up were fine. Location : sunny and snowy Scotland. Acting wasn't bad.

Now for the bad bits. The script was bereft of polish and drafts. The plot left a lot to be desired. Special effects for the monster(s) lacking, perhaps a lack of budget was the culprit. The fangs were at best amateurish or cheap - being kind.

Cinematography was acceptable. However some parts could have used some rudimentary lighting assistance in the shape of some reflectors to counteract the shadowing of the eyes which any film student worth their salt would have noticed immediately. Cardinal sin - you have to see the actors faces in particular their eyes. it's no use if their eyes are in blackness or shadow.

Lack of variety of wide angle shots showing the characters, except for the aerial drone or Arriflex shots. Didn't give the audience a sense of varied perspective.

Watch, Wolfen, An American Werewolf in London, The Company of Wolves, Silver Bullet or Ginger Snaps instead of this garbage.

In short avoid.

Rating withheld for reasons of the ability to rate zero out of ten.

I have been watching films now for 40 plus years and I can honestly say that this is the worst film I have ever seen. Can't really add to what others have said except it makes Cubby Brown's UFO look like Citizen Kane.

Let's start with the positives: there was a very clear shot of the moon - a crisp, clear image, the score had musical instruments in it and the beards looked real. It's not very long.

Other than that....every thing about this was just plain bad. Awful. If an infinite number of monkeys etc could blah blah Shakespeare, one monkey with half a crayon and a piece of cardboard and a hangover would be embarrassed to have written this. And the director may not even have been an animal. A houseplant, perhaps? Each actor said their monkey-written lines in turn, then a pause, then the next actor says something daft. This wasn't even so bad it's quite funny. I can't say anymore because writing this is making me remember the film which is making me feel tired and cold inside.

If you're at home and looking for a way to pass some time and the choice is this or unblocking a septic tank with your bare hands, good luck and wear safety glasses...

I've never left a review on here before, however I'd also never left a film early until now. Thankfully I have a cinema membership so I didn't pay entry for this otherwise i would have been looking for a refund or transfer to another film. Poor acting, script, pace, camera work, this film had me redeeming qualities for me.