Colonials

This is quite possibly one of the worst film experiences possible.

Most obvious is a sound mix dominated by a deeply unpleasant low pitch rumble that adds nothing but gives the listener a constant headache. A hackneyed script entirely lacking in creativity and nuance is backed up by an edit that looks as if it was made using a blunt, rusty hatchet with the parts randomly shuffled. Some of the worst green screen film making I have seen with a complete lack of subtlety in the horrendous computer generated backgrounds. The unremitting use of oversaturated primary colours is painful to watch. It is an assault on the eyes and ears with no let up from start to finish

This film is entirely devoid of any redeeming qualities.

It misses on all accounts. The result is a more than disappointing story suited better to a high-school production.

The direction is static and the acting wooden (granted they didn't have a good script to work with) giving the impression you are watching a lego movie. Below par overacting and underwhelming story-line with a under average 'green screen' poorly masked by overpowering color-correction, that is distracting as it cuts from green light to pink to purple and orange.

Disappointing to say the least. There's a reason George Lucas was able to create a classic on self-funded budget - he had good bones to flesh out the characters. I was not even half way and was rooting for any of them.

Wow, this is possibly the worst movie I've seen in the last decade. It really is jaw droppingly awful.

The special effects are hilarious and look like they've been created by a 9 year old using a Commodore Amiga.

Acting is delivered with all the charisma but none of the warmth of a piece of structural timber.

Soundtrack is abysmal and fits the movie in the same way a pair of gloves would fit a fish.

I genuinely cannot believe that anyone thought this was a good idea and then after seeing the abomination they had created, decided to put it out for public consumption.

Even Asylum would be ashamed to create something this bad and they have a spectacular back catalogue of dreadful movies.

Is there a place for this movie? Yes, most definitely....it's called the bin.

Sounded pretty good . But started with some of the worst 'Disney Tern' style Acting. By 15 minutes the 1990 style FX 3xtended to the 10th degree had me skipping to see if anything gor better.. actually saw some wood frames with really bad vector cgi ... That was it, I simply had to stop. 8m not sure who wrote the script, but whoever it was would be fired from kiddy TV.

Graphics seemed to be vector 9vervaly placed every we here with no reguard to matching brightness or contrast. Explosions turned into squares and triangles pieces.. laughable.

Good luck.. acting not FX get any better from my skip through stopping about every 5 min... It got deleted from my PLEX.

It only takes a few minutes to realise this film is more inline with an episode of Jabberjaw than actual science fiction. The virtual sets and ridiculously annoying cast are as wooden as postman pat or thomas the tank engine. The out of focus camera work on their green screen bedroom set seems like it has more to do with zoom abuse in post production but I don't really care what the actual reason for that is, it's just unwatchable crapola.

The desperate vibe from the cast makes me think they thought this was going to be a real film once it all came together, they give off a cheesy vibe like they're actually thinking their lines are hitting just right. I guess they are if you enjoy the feeling of extreme cringe.

Giving this 1 star is a wild assumption it even deserves a rating at all, I'm writing this review more as a warning to anyone wondering if this is worth watching. Just to be very upfront if you misunderstood my past words, it's not worth 2 seconds of your life.