Love Slaves of the Amazons

Don Taylor (whose credits as an actor include the original "Father of the Bride" and "Stalag 17", and whose credits as a director include "Escape from the Planet of the Apes" and "The Final Countdown") plays our amiable lead here, an archaeologist named Peter Masters. He arrives in Brazil where he is aggressively pursued by a character named Crespi (the unsung character actor Eduardo Ciannelli), who wants financing for a trip deep into the heart of the jungle. Crespi had previously encountered the legendary female warriors of the title, and wants to prove that his story is not made-up.

Written, produced, and directed by Curt Siodmak, who'd given us such genre gems as "The Wolf Man" and "Donovans' Brain", this is much more forgettable than his best work. It's goofy, dopey B movie nonsense, with Siodmak going to great lengths to play a fair amount of this story tongue-in-cheek. A case in point: the deliberately silly "bathing" sequence.

The ladies themselves are pretty amusing, whether they're painting themselves green, spending a protracted amount of time dancing for Masters (whose reactions are priceless), going absolutely gaga over the hunky Masters, or trying to act all tough.

And to add to that, Masters, Crespi, and their traveling companions had previously gotten attacked by pirates, leading to a hilariously silly action / fight sequence where the baddies keep getting thrown off a ship, landing in mud, and coming right back for more.

This may have the distinction of actually being shot in Brazil, but it's kind of a waste of good atmosphere; some viewers may bemoan the amount of comedy in the second half when this possibly could have amounted to a pretty good adventure. In any event, it was *too* amusing in general for this viewer to completely write it off.

An uncredited Paul Frees provides the voices for a couple of the characters.

Six out of 10.

Curt Siodmak, Writer ("Donovan's Brain/"The Wolf Man") Director ("Bride of the Gorilla")...Made this Wild Failure along with "Curacco: Beast of the Amazon",

and Neither Gained any Status Other than Misfires of Elevated Production Values for this Sort-of-Thing, being Produced by Universal Studios.

Shot in Color on Actual Brazilian Locations is about All the Positive Things You can Say about this Clunky, Silly Adventure...that Turns into (unintentional?) Cringe-Inducing Silliness than Back-Again to Serious Action/Adventure from Scene to Scene.

Jaw-Dropping is the "Bath-Scene" where our Archeologist Hero is Forced into a Tub of Soapy Water by a Gaggle of Haggy Amazonian Elder-Women, as is the Big "Fight-Scene" in the Mud, both have to be Seen to Appreciate just How Bad it Becomes.

The Jagged Tone is Annoying, and the Actors and Actresses are Strictly B-Grade along with the Script. Siodmak Prided Himself as a Writer Trying to Keep Up with the Escalation of Brother Robert's Career. But Here He Shows Little Signs of a Good Pulpy Wordsmith.

Come for the Color and the Ineptitude, but Don't Expect a Parade of Stunning, Scantily-Clad, Sexy Babes or You will be Very Disappointed.

Bad-Movie Buffs Should Surely Give it a Gander just to See How a Major Studio can Flop as Easily as its Poverty-Row Cousins. For the Seekers of Low-Hanging-Sour-Fruit it's...

Worth a Watch

For Most Movie-Goers...Not

Note: The clever title reveals for those that observe and not just see...The "Slaves" are the Men in captivity for, you know...Making Whoopee.

This film begins with an American archeologist by the name of "Dr. Peter Masters" (Don Taylor) arriving in Brazil for some research at a local museum. It's during this time that he is approached in his hotel by a man named "Dr. Crespi" (Eduardo Ciannelli) who tells him a fantastic story about a tribe of Amazon women located in a remote part of the country. Although Dr. Masters doesn't believe him at first, he changes his mind when Dr. Crespi shows him a solid gold statue of an Amazon queen he obtained during his time there. To that effect, Dr. Masters wastes no time procuring funds for an expedition and they set off by boat up the Amazon River to locate this place. However, they first must battle pirates who have heard of the gold and riches that lie at the other end of this expedition and want it all for themselves. Now, what I understand, the director (Curt Siodmak) had just made a previous movie by the title of "Curucu, Beast of the Amazon" and had some unused film left over which he had to use. If that is true, then it could explain why this film looks like it was so hurriedly done. Throw in some futile attempts at humor along with some jungle footage that looks like it was taken from "Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom" and the low-budget production values are impossible to ignore. Admittedly, the dance scene featuring a number of attractive Amazon women was rather entertaining, but it simply wasn't enough to overcome the other obvious flaws just mentioned and for that reason I have rated this movie accordingly. Below average.

It has been forty years since I saw this film. Then I was an early adolescent with raging hormones perhaps caused by the film. The women in this adventure-like film are not "Amazons" but rather typical of late 50's Hollywood. The plot was transparent but still interesting. The set and the color made this a good "B" movie.

The premise of a lost city of Amazon women who keep only one captured male alive as their "walking sperm bank" had some potential for interest, but not even the considerable manly charms of actor Don Taylor can save this crop of jungle corn. The Amazon women wear a kind of "Mother Hubbard" style jumper typical of the 50's and many of them are far from alluring. Their green-painted faces don't help much, either. The overall feel of the film is one of adventure, but what dramatic tension it manages to summon is thoroughly dissipated by the frequent lame attempts at humor. Mr. Taylor fares much better in a reversed situation in "The Girls of Pleasure Island", in which he is one of 1500 men competing for one of three nubile girls. If you like this theme, Bill Maher's comic "Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death" is strikingly similar and may provide a few more genuine laughs.