Chrom und heisses Leder

Come on now...a biker flick is supposed to be violent and sleazy. This one is so antiseptic it would have made it by TV censors in the 70's--even if the original American-International ads tried hard to suggest otherwise. It does contain one great line: As the biker gang leader prepares to rough up one of our heroes, he is distracted by a fellow gang member playing a noisy pinball machine, leading to remark, "Gabriel, can't you see that we're menacing someone?" Ludicrous music, seemingly from another film, accompanies one of the climactic fight scenes. Sadly, this film could give the Hell's Angels a good name.

I must say, here was a bikie flick that really disappointed me. It's the most disappointing bikie flick I've seen in my life, when I first saw it at the tender age of fifteen. The title is fantastic and the cover was so appealing, but appearances can be deceiving. How can such a great titled movie represent such a dull film? Just watch Chrome And Hot Leather. Now some people may think I'm quite hard on this. Let me give you the rundown here. It has a good story/revenge premise of an ex green beret and his mob avenging a vicious gang of bikers, who've killed his fiancée. No surprise the lead bikie here is played by William Smith from The Losers, another bikie film, who came close to this on disappointed me, in it's first view, some shades of familiarity between the two as well. The Losers had a couple of men in berets too. Why you may ask this film doesn't work. In the violence and action department, it's remarkably restrained, and there's a lot of nothing happening moments, where the end is really when the movie perks. It's just flat, with nothing happening-ness. If judging the cover too, the movie looked more recent like eighties. We did have that rush of revenge running through our veins to see this beret to kick arse, only there wasn't enough kicking arse. Too much waiting around. We needed many more emotionally charged, and anger driven moments, that required more plot points, or even turning points. Trivia note. The lead beret, and other actor Peter Brown both starred in Rape Squad as very bad guys/rapists. And again, my true thoughts here: someone should rape this movie, before it's hired out again.

Sad but true, this double feature of CHROME AND HOT LEATHER plus GOD FORGIVES, I DON'T was a crowded night of goggle eyed teen adventure (I secretly went without mum and dad knowing) and saw it in 1971 at Sydney's home of the crap double feature The Capitol Theatre. Lots of customers there that Saturday night, plenty of couples (I wonder what the girlfriends thought) and me and my pals scoffing lollies and staring at the screen. One memorable scene in CHROME was a bikie being stopped by a cop on a rural road. The cop comes over and we all expect him to harass the bikie. Instead the cop shows what a nice guy he was by telling the bikie how much he liked his bike, admiring those hot chrome exhaust pipes..... I do not know if a sex scene followed and was edited out, but today that would play like a pick up to raucous laughter. GOD FORGIVES I DON'T was a terrible Italian or Spanish western with Terence Hill. However we all went home satisfied. Cost 70c I remember. The 70s were such fun.

I appreciate the cheesy and inept exploitation flick as much as the next person--in fact, probably a good bit more--but even by by basement standards, "Chrome and Hot Leather" is a piece of crap. The whole story of Green Berets vs. Bikers is lame and unconvincing on all sides, the bikes are nothing special, nor is the riding done on them. But one thing does set this film apart and that would be the presence of the legendary Marvin Gaye as one of the aforementioned military types. And it makes one a bit sorry that he didn't do more acting (his only other dramatic role seems to have been alongside Lee Majors in a similarly forgettable film): Gaye's on-screen presence is as relaxed and charming as his musical style and he was certainly easy on the eyes. Still, what drove him to make supporting appearances in drive-in fodder escapes me--probably the same thing that drove him to train with the Chicago Bears. But, if it's biker trash you want, I suggest the classic "The Wild Angels" or the magnificently sleazy "She-Devils on Wheels." And, if you want to appreciate Marvin Gaye's talent, you might be better off tracking down one of his "Shindig!" or "T.A.M.I. Show" appearances.

This film begins with two young women driving on the highway and suddenly encountering a motorcycle gang known as the Wizards headed in the same direction. Not content with simply letting them pass, one of the members of the gang named "Casey" (Michael Haynes) decides to have some fun at their expense and demands that they pull over. When they resist he becomes a bit more aggressive which then causes them to swerve into him. Not badly hurt he gets back on his motorcycle and in a fit of road rage shatters their windshield with a chain which results in them veering out-of-control and subsequently crashing--eventually killing both of the women. Recognizing the trouble they have found themselves in the leader of the gang named "T. J." (William Smith) orders his group to flee the scene before they can be identified. Unfortunately for them, a traveling salesman comes upon the accident and overhears one of the women softly uttering the word "devils" just before dying. Not long after that a Special Forces instructor by the name of "Mitch" (Tony Young) gets the news of his fiancé's death and with the help of three of his fellow Green Berets decides to seek out those responsible. Although they don't have much to go on they immediately begin to look for a motorcycle gang with a connection to the word "devil"--and the Wizards just happen to carry that exact image on their jacket. Now rather than reveal any more I will just say that this film started off well enough but got a little unrealistic and downright hokey toward the end. Even so, I liked the initial premise and contrast between the bikers and the Green Beret so for that reason I have rated this film a little higher than it probably deserves. Average.