Trouble

Oh, Jeepers, watching this one might actually lower your I.Q. a bit. Ten years ago I rented this on VHS under the title "House of Terror", I expected a low-budget 70's horror film, I also expected a specific house along with a specific terror, what I would find would leave me speechless... until now.

On the surface, it may appear that House of Terror's one and only counterpart, California AXE Massacre is the inferior product. That theory is soon challenged and eventually torn to shreds, the utter ineptness of this sleazy tale could be compared to that of a more humorous, less tragic mistake, the legendary Blood Freak, or even Blood Shack... well, then again, maybe it's not all that bad. Meet Eddie & Sandra, what an awkward pair, this guy thinks he can just up and kidnap some rich guys daughter for ransom and make some easy money, think again fella, this is Exploitation Country, he's gonna earn that money. You would think that Sandra's father would make some sort of trouble for Eddie but he doesn't seem too stressed about the whole thing, that would make too much sense anyway. Among other things, Everyone that our twosome encounter on their slow-paced journey around Charlotte, N.C either wants to hurt, rape, or kill them, kind of like in the Doom Generation, but without the third party to make things interesting. House of Terror flaunts a mean spirited theme from the beginning, Eddie now takes his young hostage to a nearby hotel where some bad guys posing as the hotel clerk & bellboy bust in, of course Sandra thinks shes been rescued, wrong, they're only there to rape her, so they do, while Eddie if forced to watch, we get the idea from his reaction that he's not all bad. Any alleged storyline is ditched at the hotel. At this point it seems this movie just stops caring what anyone thinks of it, 5 minutes of silence at a time being just one example, I guess everyone just ran out of ideas, but I really think this film is mostly about Friedel confusing the hell out of us. Certain facial expressions and phrases uttered just seem a little off to me. Finally, when things start to make sense, out pops Dr. Giggles ! Great, thats all we need. Why him why not the Blood Stalkers ? Hell, why not that 30 year old kid from Burial Ground ? I'll bet little Michael could've really spiced up this shin dig, Instead we get this early 90's garbage. Good thing this movie is for Adolph because no one else would know quite what to do with it. All sarcasm aside, I actually kinda dug House of Terror, it's what underground film-making is all about, making your movie the way YOU want, regardless of how pointless or unredeeming it might turn out, and so what if each viewing lower's your I.Q a bit. House of Terror also has that "Rare, unintentional dream-like quality" that money could never and will never buy. They should be playing little obscurities like this on TCM Underground, I mean, Russ Meyer is OK but if you wanna go underground, then do it right. Besides all that, Sandra is Kinda hot, plus, there are some pleasant N.C country locations too, looks like a pleasant place to film a little exploitation gem such as this. That santa claus guy was entertaining with his breakdown and whatnot. Any humor or B-charm that this film might possess is most likely unintentional and I wouldn't have it any other way. OK, so what were looking at here is unintentional humor, possibly unintentional confusion, plenty of silence & awkward moments, one whopper of a low-budget, and almost no closure, I get it, but come on !! Adolph deserves better.

Kidnapped Coed (1976)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

Criminal Eddie Matlock (Jack Canon) kidnaps Sandra (Leslie Rivers) so that he can hold her for ransom and get a major pay-down from her rich father. A couple goons have other ideas but Eddie and Sandra hit the road where their adventure leads them to a strange farm house.

KIDNAPPED COED is the second feature from director Frederick R. Friedel. As with his first film AXE, this one here was made in North Carolina on an obviously low-budget but unlike that film, this one here really doesn't have too much going for it. I say this because like that film this one here doesn't have too much of a story but while AXE was rather weird in its own way, this one here just plays out like a no-budget version of BADLANDS.

I will say that the best thing going for the film are the performances by Canon and Rivers. I thought both of them were quite good in their parts and it's really too bad that there wasn't more of a story for them to act in. For the majority of the running time the two are sitting, standing or laying around and talking about subjects that don't really move the plot and instead are just downright boring. At 75 minutes the film seems double that and by the time the ending comes you're already out of it.

I will say that other than the performances there is a really campy moment that happens towards the end with a farmer. I'm not going to spoil it but the dialogue and acting had my laughing extremely hard.

Despite some fairly decent acting and cinematography, this movie has plot holes you can drive a truck through. These guys at this hotel must just wait around for someone to check in with a woman for them to rape, as there is no other discernible motive for them coming to the room. Even after she tells them that she's the daughter of a rich man, they aren't interested in earning a reward by rescuing her, or kidnapping her themselves as far as the audience is told.

Then there's the amiable old farmer that puts the kidnapper and the girl up for the night. At first he seems to be the first truly decent person seen in this film, then, for no apparent reason, he's a psycho. First, he spies on the lovers at night and is holding a knife. You're waiting for: A. One of them to notice the old psycho pervert with a knife. B. The old psycho pervert to use the knife. C. The old psycho pervert to decide against doing anything and slink away. You don't get any of this, the scene just changes to morning, inexplicably. Then the old guy comes at the kidnapper with a pitchfork. Why? I sure can't tell. He continues to attack the kidnapper who draws a gun and gives the old guy every chance to stop attacking. When the kidnapper is finally forced to kill the old farmer, the girl goes all hysterical about him being a murderer and runs away! What was he supposed to do? Let the psycho farmer impale him on the pitchfork?

Also there's some question about what happens in the final scene. I can't really elaborate without giving away the so-called 'surprise ending', but the DVD calls the scene "Dance of Death", which leads you to wonder if any death actually took place, because, if it does, you don't see it.

I watched this hoping for a good, old-fashioned exploitation sleaze film, and it wasn't that, but it wasn't good either. Make of that what you will.

Kidnapped Coed (1976) Synopsis: Sarah is leaving her boarding house when she a petty hood kidnaps her and holds her for ransom. But the inept crook has to defend his meal ticket from other criminals wanting her for the ransom and some of the most random attacks imaginable. Thoughts: Man "Coed" really needs to be seen to be believed. The silly script rely almost solely on random circumstance to the point of hilarity. You feel sorry for the kidnapper in the end because the guy never catches a break. Thugs, murderous farmers and the odd robbery leaves this guy constantly in the wrong place at the wrong time. The woman is about as lucky as the thug only dumber blowing off a million ways to get to safety. And what's with the phone booths all out in the middle of nowhere? Like I said. Something else. (Stars: Jack Canon, Leslie Rivers, Gladys Lavitan, Larry Lambeth, Jim Blankinship) Dir...Frederick R. Friedel) (DVD) Film Rating: 2/5) (Fun Rating: 4/5)

Don't go into KIDNAPPED COED expecting sleazy no-budget bad film ineptitude. Frederick R. Friedel's terse, bizarre, dream-like 76-minute kidnapping-gone-wrong programmer is something of a mini-exploitation-masterpiece. It plays more like an art film, with carefully-framed tracking shots and compositions, focused on building atmosphere and silence rather than action and dialogue, and all sorts of little touches that could only come from the hands of an accomplished auteur with imagination to spare, not a talentless hack. On the minus side, the ending kinda leaves you hanging and wanting for more, and Leslie Ann Rivers' co-ed character is less fleshed out or convincing than John Canon's mummy's boy kidnapper. Canon is like the poor man's Nic Nolte--lotsa facial tics and jittery acting, but it works. If KIDNAPPING COED treads creakingly familiar path, Friedel's innovative direction turns it into something else entirely and makes it worth treasuring as a hidden gem. Cinematographer Austin McKinney also shot Friedel's AXE, the trash classic THE LOVE BUTCHER and Jack Hill's PIT STOP.