Ich, der Richter

Everywhere I look, people say that this is the best Mike Hammer film to date, and I can't help but ask "why?" It just isn't very Mike Hammer. If perhaps it was just a ripoff of the pulp classic "I, the Jury" with Armand Assante, I would have enjoyed it. As a movie, it's pretty good considering it was pure 1980's action. But as Mike Hammer, it's weak.

The biggest differences between true Mike Hammer and this movie is Armand Assante's portrayal. He does a fine acting job, but Hammer is MEAN and always angry. In this, Assante is either manic depressive or smirking at the bad guys that he just beat. Mike Hammer gets into fist fights. Armand just pushes some people down stairs, doesn't throw punches. At least they got the ending right, although Armand Assante was still way too melancholy.

I can say several positive things about this movie. The scene when Assante does a full assault on the criminal's compound with an M-16 is well directed, a good solid action scene (no way connected with the book). Velda and Assante's love interests were both more interesting to watch than the rest of the movie.

In closing, I would like to say that Hollywood still has the chance to make a good, solid film based on Mike Hammer. Two tips: FOLLOW THE BOOK. Regardless of which book you use, follow it. Spillane wrote better than 90% of Hollywood anyways. And second, get someone who can be a mean and downright angry Mike Hammer, not depressed. I think Michael Madsen would fit the job well, he has the right look and the right voice.

Oh the 70s was a great time for crime features… although "I, the Jury" was made in the early eighties it had me thinking it was from the 70s like some sort leftovers that found itself in the wrong decade. And hey that's not a bad thing at all. Originally it looked like it was cult-filmmaker Larry Cohen's project, as he penned the screenplay and was to direct to only be replaced by Richard T. Heffron (Futureworld). This is another adaptation of novelist's Mickey Spillane's Mike Hammer character. Private detective Mike Hammer looks into the case to seek revenge when he learns of the killing of his one-armed ex-army buddy. What he digs up about his mate's death, is something quite big.

"I, the Jury" is a tough as nails, lean and steamy pulp crime / film noir feature that's sexually charged (an opened orgy sequence) and brutally violent (a ghastly slit throat) amongst a rather seedy backdrop. Filling in the role as the iconic Mike Hammer is a fittingly hardboiled, but wry Armand Assante. Surrounding him is a bunch of attractive, but formidable ladies in the shape of Barbara Carrera and Laurene Landon. Also you got the likes of Paul Sorvino, Alan King, Geoffrey Lewis and Barry Snider pitching in with good performances. Cohen's story remains exhaustively captivating; by always being on the move in what is a complicated web of conspiracies and leads. The dialogues are bold. Sometimes contrived in its actions, but it does open up a can of worms. Heffron's steadfast direction is economically staged with moments of thrilling engagements and brooding passages that he's not afraid to bare flesh, but at times it felt like I was watching a long-winded TV episode. Bill Conti composes a titillatingly smoking blues score, which installs a whirlwind of emotion.

There is a reason this film is hardly ever mentioned today: it's a completely average and forgettable actioner that looks and sounds like a TV-movie (spiced-up with a little nudity and some gratuitous sleaze). The script is murky and the direction lacks style. Having not read a Mickey Spillane book so far, I can not estimate how accurate Armand Assante's interpretation of Mike Hammer is, but his performance seems acceptable. Less acceptable is Barbara Carrera, who has one facial expression throughout the film; at least she has a nude scene, which explains her casting. Laurene Landon, whom you might remember from "All The Marbles", is wasted as Hammer's devoted secretary. (*1/2)

Private Detective Mike Hammer (Armand Assante) investigates the murder of his friend Jack Williams who lost his arm to the Tet Offensive. Pat Chambers (Paul Sorvino) is the lead police detective in the case. Jack's wife Myrna reveals that they had been going to sex therapist Dr. Charlotte Bennett. His investigation connects Mike to a secret military program with help from his beautiful secretary Velda. Soon, they're hunted by mysterious agents. Mike follows the gun to mobster Charles Kalecki (Alan King).

Finding the bug seems very random. There are conveniences and contrivances. It's fine for an 80's action movie. It has the harden charisma of Assante although there is a bit of European coolness about him. It gives Hammer a nice sexiness. The plot is quite convoluted which borders on a Bond movie. Instead of a noir pulp detective, Bond does seem like the bigger inspiration. It's not until he gets a little bloodied that it starts to feel noir. There is even a bevy of Bond beauties. The only thing missing is the exotic locations. It's strictly New York City and that's perfectly good with its remaining sleaze. It fits the sex and violence. The production is closer to TV level except for the R-rated elements.

I THE JURY (1982), the first Mike Hammer movie since THE GIRL HUNTERS (1963). This was a half-hearted attempt to bring Hammer into the modern world-- or something. Armand Assante's too short & skinny, his accent's all wrong & he seems too laid-back about all the nastiness going on, like he's a wise-guy when he should be a dangerous Neanderthal. Laurene Landon's pretty, but she seems too helpless when the going gets rough-- and she's blonde! (Velda's supposed to be a brunette, how hard is it to get even the simple details right?) Paul Sorvino as Pat Chambers isn't bad, but he gets forced to involve Hammer against his will, while in the original, he happily fed Mike all the info he could, knowing Mike would not be held back by rules & regulations the way he would be as a cop. The highlight of the film is no doubt Barbara Carerra, who gets to have one HOT nude sex scene about 2/3rds of the way in-- but it doesn't seem like she's really given much chance to act. Her lack of ability, or just a director who has NO IDEA what he's doing? Someone said this looked and felt like a "tv movie"-- the only difference being, the excessive graphic violence, nudity & sex. And while the original I THE JURY was a very complex plot, which left you marvel at the way such a "thug" on the outside as Hammer could figure it out when nobody else could, here, too much is spelled out for the audience, and yet, not enough is spelled out clearly for any of it to really make sense. OY! Bill Conti tries his best with a high-powered jazz score, but it's no FOR YOUR EYES ONLY.

It's a fun flick and can be enjoyed for exactly what it is. But watching this again really makes me wish I had a good copy of the Biff Elliot film...