Beast Creatures

With a title like ATTACK OF THE BEAST CRETURES you're certainly not expecting CITIZEN KANE but even with very low expectations this is a dreadful movie and what let's it down is the technical aspects . " What technical aspects Theo? " Exactly . From the very opening frame of the film you know you're going to be watching a shipwreck of a movie

In fact everything about the film can be summed up by the opening . We have a totally inappropriate soundtrack played on a synthesiser . Michael Mann's THE KEEP also a bizarre soundtrack that feels it belongs to an entirely different movie but at least that film redeemed itself by some great cinematography and camera work . Here it seems the director took his mates on a day trip to the beach . Everything about the movie screams amateur film maker

Perhaps the most noticeable thing is the acting or rather the lack of it . I genuinely thought this was an Italian movie badly dubbed in to English . It's certain ly got that vibe where any emotion or inflexion in the voices is totally negated by other people calmly talking their lines as in " Oh no I'm being attacked by a horde of monsters mercy me " in the same sort of tone you'd expect someone to read out their laundry list

The only saving grace - and I'm being totally charitable here - is the eponymous beast creatures themselves . It would be very easy for the director to get a bunch of extras to don wigs and pretend to be flesh eating monsters . Here we have what effectively fairground gonks that attack the cast and who are less wooden than the cast which means this movie gets three out of ten instead of two out of ten

A kinetic, out-if-the-ordinary skid-row monster movie that turned out good against all odds(my use of the word "good", mind you, being pertinent to entertainment value as opposed to aesthetic quality). The title terrors are a tribe of screaming, white-eyed, 10"(that's right...ten inch) toothy trolls with long hair, which besiege their prey like a school of spear-wielding land-piranha. Potential victims-to-be are a handful of shipwreck survivors washed ashore on an uncharted tropical island inhabited by the "beast creatures". These unfortunate souls have more to contend with than the monsters alone, namely rivers of acid, hunger, thirst, and each other.

A perfect example of a no-budget monster movie that managed to get it right...I'd recommend this over the bulk of widely recognized titles any day, and with little hesitation.

6/10...fun stuff.

I have in the past seen terrible reviews of this flick, I could never figure out why. I can see via other comments that this movie isn't as hated as I once thought. True the budget is almost non-existent, but considering the results, the director is a genius. The film is generally creepy throughout, some of the scenes don't work...But surprisingly most do. You will be entertained, and really who could ask for more than that?

A group of ship wreck survivors lands on an island in the middle of no where. Much of the islands water will cause their flesh to dissolve!! A tribe of creepy, hungry little folk inhabit this island...And want to devour the survivors! Not a good day. Get this movie if you can and give it a watch. 7/10

Despite what you may have read or heard, this silly low-budgeter is a great rental despite whatever shortcomings it has. However, you might have an impossible time trying to track down a tape because this has been out of circulation for years.

Filmed in 1983, this concerns the struggle for survival among a small group of shipwreck survivors on a secluded island (really inland Fairfield, Connecticut, where this was filmed). A seemingly innocent water stream is actually full of acid as one poor parched man soon finds out, and worse, the island is home a cult of small, killer, TRILOGY OF TERROR-style dolls. The dolls have red faces, long black hair, glow-in-the-dark eyes and sharp pointy teeth. Their jaws open so they can screech and their arms move up and down when they scurry through the woods, but other than that, they are hilariously immobile.

I don't want to get too much into the story, but some of the assault/ambush techniques devised by the little critters are very amusing and the low-level POV camera-work and eerie music score service the entertaining story very well. This film is a blast!

Score: 6 out of 10

I LOVE a good low-budget horror movie. Thing is it needs to be good. Here, we have a movie that looks like it has a budget of $250 and yes that includes the FX.

We enter the story as a group of people have been shipwrecked and so they drift aimlessly through the water in their lifeboat named Obelisk. Soon they hit land after the credits end and due to brutal lighting what looks like angry, spoiled sausages attack them in the night. By first light we see they actually look like ravenous, haunted dolls. Time to try and stay alive.

The music by John P. Mozzi is actually quite effective and way better than this movie deserves. Super bad acting by almost everyone in this movie.

Might be good to sit down with a good friend with some of your favourite beers and/or whiskey and get some good laughs. Otherwise steer clear.