Flesh and Bullets

Horrible movie. Who'd have thought a movie would make me wish I was watching Throw Momma From The Train. When ranking Strangers on a Train rip-offs this movie is so far below the bottom that it's in the basement.

Two guys are to murder each other's ex-wives but instead end up in sexual relationships with the ex-wives, making it difficult to pull off the murders. That sentence makes the movie sound far more intriguing than it actually is.

For a taste of just how horrible the writing is you just need to watch the scene where one of the ex-wives tells her lover/killer that she was once raped by Robert Z'Dar. His response? "At least he has good taste." No wonder she's so much in love with him.

Just no redeeming qualities here. Writing, direction, editing, acting, everything is just horrible. Not even so bad it's good. Just so bad it should never be seen by anybody.

Back 30 years before in 1955 a film that would have starred Cornel Wilde, Yvonne DeCarlo, Cesar Romero and Aldo Ray might have made a few shekels at the box office. But if Marty McFly had brought these four stars forward in time to 1985 all four might have wept at where their careers had gone after seeing Flesh And Bullets.

Could all four of them been that desperate for a paycheck that year that they agreed to appear in this. Opposite 4 leads who never did anything else of note. Seeing that the director of this film cut his teeth in the porn industry I wonder if the leads made their bones there as well.

Two guys who are being slammed with alimony and child support meet at a bar and decide to kill each others wives the better to obscure the motive. But both meet their targets and fall in love with their targets. But both also fear the other will kill them if the agreement isn't carried out.

The direction is non-existent and I've seen better acting at the high school assembly plays. If you have a sadistic frame of mind you might look to see the pained expressions on all four stars faces as they give us their lines. All of them look like they're ready for a trip to the Emergency Room.

And God knows what Hitchcock would have thought had he been still alive to see what trash they made of his Strangers On A Train.

Flesh and Bullets (1985)

** (out of 4)

Two losers casual meet in Las Vegas and get to talking about their lives and realize that they have a lot in common. The most common thing is that both of them are being taken to the cleaner by their ex-wives who got them for a lot of money in their divorces. The men agree to knock off each other's ex but in the process they both fall in love with them and want to back out of their deals.

Carlos Tobalina had directed a number of porno films up to this point in his career but he wanted to try his hand at a "mainstream" feature so he made this low-budget picture, which is basically a take-off on Alfred Hitchcock's STRANGERS ON A TRAIN. This film offers up some nudity, some mild sex scenes as well as some veteran cast members but at the end of the day there's just nothing overly special about it.

The film has an extremely cheap feel to it and in all honesty it looks and feels like the porno movies that were made during this period. Tobalina certainly wasn't able to bring any style to this movie and in fact his direction is pretty weak throughout as there's never any erotic feel, there's certainly no tension and I'd argue that there's not too many good things going on. With that said, the film is far from awful as its cheapness does have a certain charm about it.

The main reason to check this film out is due to the cast, which includes some rather famous faces in small roles. You've got the likes of Yvonne De Carlo, Cesar Romero, Cornel Wilde (straight out of retirement) and Aldo Ray as well as cult sensation Mai Lin playing a hooker. Seeing these famous faces pop up throughout the running time is certainly entertaining and they almost make the picture worth sitting through.

FLESH AND BULLETS isn't a horrible movie but it's not a very good one either. If you're a fan of low-budget films like it then you'll want to check it out.

Wow. I am not sure where to begin. Top-billed "special performances by" Yvonne DeCarlo is literally in one shot. Cesar Romero does slightly better with two shots. Poor Cornel Wilde (with a bad hair dye) and Aldo Ray appear in two short, poorly lit, poorly shot, poorly framed, poor sound recorded scenes. Now onto the good stuff: I actually found the two male leads compelling. Glenn McKay and Mic Morrow have no other credits on IMDB, but they're actually quite good. The film itself, in some strange way, drew me in. It was much better than I expected it to be. Like one of the other reviewers said, I saw the Variety add back in the day and was curious about the cast. I doubt this film got any playdates at all, despite the "theatrical" trailer included on the DVD. I could see myself sitting through this one again.

Oh my god! Yvonne De Carlo, Aldo Ray, Cesar Romero and the return of the great Cornel Wilde in his last role! Well, I have been wanting to see this film ever since it was advertised on the Variety back in 1985 because of the incredible cast, but the 19 year wait was a let down. Yvonne DeCarlo and Cesar Romero played judges in a divorce case and only appeared for 30 seconds (!). aldo ray (who was doing tons of these type of movie) must have talked Cornel Wilde (who was not doing "Z" films) to do a 2min scene (a comeback!) with him, because they both appear in a police scene that look like it was off another film. Wilde who usual do film with political messages or quality work looks tired and looks as if he might have thought this was a student film or something different to be involved in this type of film. All 4 talents are tacked in on a direct-to-video feature about a divorced loser who robs a bank to pay for his child support/alimony payment.

he meets up with another loser who also has the same ex-wife problem. they both agree to help each other by meeting the other's wife and kill them, but they fall in love with other's ex's instead. some sex scenes look edited as if this might have been a hardcore adult film once. the photography looks like outdated 16mm film stock, sort of like those late 70's adult film was shot in. sharon kelly only speaks one-line in a pointless cameo, and look for Robert Z'dar billed as Robert west playing Dan the psycho ex-boyfriend. Seeing what the director made in the past, it must be a ambitious attempt to break into the mainstream films, but a little too late for this film didn't even get any sales on most major countries. I hope to see a English language release of this one day, but with DVD business these days most people will complain over the photograph of the film for it's really grainy.

Only if aldo ray and cornel wilde got out of the police station and did some detective work to add credibility to this film. real shame it's wilde's last film.