I saw this when I was a youngster (8 or 9) on HBO way back in the late 1980s or early 90s. I was fascinated by what I was seeing. I felt for her, I didn't know why. I related to her situation, but I couldn't understand why. It wasn't until rewatching it much later in my life that i realized what was actually happening to that poor girl. Her grandmother would only dish out love for Phoebe when phoebe was in full compliance with her grandmothers wishes meanwhile her nanny, Zelly loved her unconditionally. Hence the tagline. "Zelly never made me choose between being loved and being me." Her emotions are in a rollercoaster of conflict between her two gaurdians. Which made me understand that I had a similar upbringing. My parents only gave me loving attention when they saw what they wanted from me and not who I was becoming. I understand this cannot be compared to children who suffered worse childhood trauma but this kind of treatment plays a factor on your mental health. This is how trust issues arise later in life, how one can become over attached to a superficial relationship, etc. And how you wonder why a child would come to harm themselves when they don't feel loved. In that kind of situation, feeling pain the same way one of you childhood hero's went through might be better than feeling nothing at all from someone who is supposed to love you unconditionally.
I wish this film was more recognized and had a wider audience. It's a shame it's not on dvd or bluray. I feel like this is a more important film to watch as a child of the same age as the main character Phoebe. The pain you see on screen is very real. It's deep emotional pain and that can shape you or harm you later in life. It did me.
If you can watch or find this movie I highly recommend it. Whether you endured similar circumstances or not, this will help you understand that that kind of mistreatment as child, even if adults like to say "this is nothing compared to-". This stuff hurts.
