"Student Affairs" is an unusual experience in that it is apparently NOT a teen sex comedy set in a highschool, but a movie ABOUT actors FILMING a teen sex comedy set in a highschool. It feels like a documentary about the filming of a "Porky's" rip off. But does that sound interesting to anyone at all?
I balked when I saw it was another Chuck Vincent b-movie. The last couple of movies of his I saw led me to conclude that he should have stuck to his career as a gay pornographer.
Gotta love the fact that all the promotional material associated with the movie ignores this and just treats it as a typical teen sex comedy. Apparently the people in charge of marketing it knew that no one would want to watch a mockumentary about the production of a teen sex comedy, especially when it's this dull.
The movie coughs up some nudity at the half hour mark, with a topless woman in bed, who does have beautiful breasts.
One of the characters is supposed to be the son of a famous actress, Janet Wheeler. He tries to keep it from everyone but they find out anyway. In one scene he strips to his underwear - for maximum homoeroticism - and is surprised in bed by a topless starlet who wants to screw her way to the top.
You know what is rare in a SEX comedy? "Student Affairs" actually features a SEX scene. These movies usually have bare breasts, sure. But actual (simulated) sex? That's beyond the pail, for some reason. "Student Affairs"' sex scene is so unconvincing it doesn't really matter, but I thought I'd mention it. It is shot from the waist up, and looks like two people bumping into each other. It is impossible to believe penetration could occur from that angle.
The movie does have quite a few bare breasts, so at least it delivers on that score. The trouble is staying awake during the bits where the cast is fully clothed.
At the eleventh hour, the movie supplies a villain, as one of the actors, or whatever he's supposed to be, acts mean. The movie ends in hijinks, I guess. People sticking each other's faces in cake and punch, punching each other, and picking each other up. I was just glad it was ending.
