Erotic House of Wax

The Erotic House of Wax is an episode of Scooby Doo without the Scooby gang and with an hour or so of very tedious (when isn't it?) lesbian action thrown in. Be it one, two, three, four, ten, twenty women, every angle (quite literally) is covered (or rather uncovered). On the press releases it says that 'most wax museums are boring, but there's a new one in town' (yeah right - this one really is very boring). Music is grand but key historical figure waxworks (such as Shakespeare) romping with young women is pure idiocy to say the least. Director Sybil Richards makes loads of these Surrender Cinema movies for Full Moon and whilst the music and production is amazing this whole sub-genre is a disappointing project for the Full Moon studio and merely a cash in on stuff never more professionally done but plentiful elsewhere all the same.

Blake Pickett (female) plays the lead character in this soft porn film. The film opens with Pickett and Jacelyn Lovell sitting in their apartment talking when their boyfriends enter the room in graduation gowns. Seems that the foursome are college students about to make their way into the world when the phone rings. Now, for some reason the telephone is packed up in a moving box but is still plugged into the wall (hmmm). Anyway, Blake gets word that her grandfather has died and has left her some inheritance. The four college grads go to the attorney's office for the reading of the will (but for some reason they are the only ones at the reading - I guess their parents weren't interested in their share of the inheritance). Blake inherited her grandfather's wax museum, complete with IRS tax levies for back taxes and bank foreclosure.

The twenty-something college graduates visit the museum and start exploring the displays. They learn a) that their grandfather was about to open a new exhibit displaying the greatest lovers in history and b) that a local civic committee led by Elizabeth Kaitan wants to shut the museum down because of the erotic wax exhibit. Conveniently, the grandfather had an apartment in the back of the house of wax that has plenty of room for all four of them, so they decide to stay at the house of wax and try to get it ready for showing.

Over a series of nights they discover that a strange figure is haunting the museum, and that the wax statues come to life and engage in sex at midnight, but only if a magic medallion is worn. So, in order to save the museum, the foursome decide to open an exhibit and advertise "animated erotic wax figures".

Now, both lead actresses do a pretty good job. Blake Pickett has one of the leanest bodies in the business and she looks fantastic (very trim and toned), particularly in her soft porn scene where she's wearing the medallion and having sex with her boyfriend. She writhes like a snake, and the music isn't intrusive to the scene. Jacelyn Lovell has done enough of the Surrender Cinema films that she's gotten plenty of practice at soft porn. The other actors/actresses are attractive and fit, though for entertainment I tried to count how many had silicone implants (I think Blake does, but I didn't see a scar so I'm not sure). Elizabeth Kaitan is always lovely (and is all-natural). In fact, she looks better now than she did 10 years ago when she starred in the classic "Slave Girls From Beyond Infinity". All those sessions with the personal trainer are paying off, girl! I'm kind of surprised she didn't have a better role in this film, but its good to see her working.

Anyway, if you enjoy costume sex, this is a pretty good film. If you enjoy "traditional" sex, this is a pretty good film. If you're looking for bondage or something harder, you may do better with Cheri Caffaro's "Ginger" films. This film is typical of the Friday night cable tv movies that are/were shown on Cinemax and Showtime. In fact, I remember when Showtime was first starting out and they would show these aerobics clips where 3 women would exercise on a rotating platform with the camera zooming in for close-ups on certain body parts. This movie reminds me of that style of film-making.

I've seen most of them and, like other guys, F-Fwd to the sex scenes. I don't drool over them, rather I look for some level of realism in the scenes, the "eloquence of their efforts" or reality of their faking. I'm REALLY bored with the ho-hum 'undress and caress' stuff Shannon Tweed is notorious for - all of her films were meant for insomniacs!

I pessimistically look for anything that says 'fake' (except the silicon of course) such as the way over-used 'girl riding the guy's thigh' scene, both standing upright with him behind her, either of them grinning their super-plastic Ken & Barbie doll look with 'ain't I beautiful?' smiles, yada, yada yada, you get the picture.

Even though most of the scenes in this flick failed my aforementioned checks there was one scene that I had to have worn out rescanning - I'm still convinced the scene where she's laying on her back on a wall was severely cut by the editors just to scathe the MPAA X rating! This scene alone warrants a 'very-watchable' status for this one, and I'm gonna rent it again...

even by the extra-low standards for soft porn, this movie fails to entertain. if you find yourself up late watching skinemax and this comes on, don't hesitate. turn it right away. (especially because there's way too much exposition before you get to the good stuff.)

Pretty good for its genre, the actresses are at least pretty, the actors are not offendingly ugly. Story's okay, not too good but what do you expect? Not worse than your regular police/sitcom episode. And the girls are extremely(-ish) well built. Enjoy!