The Adventures of Tracy Dick: The Case of the Missing Stiff

Tracy Lords is a detective whom, along with a nerded-out Tom Bryron has to discover the secret of Stacey Donovan's husband.The humor is as juvenile as Tracy is, the only thing that made me crack a smile was her reading a book called 'the G Spot', she of course had a part in the MUCH better "The Grafenberg Spot" of the same year. Plus I just plainly never liked Jesse Eastern, nor Heather Wayne, something about their looks put me off.And some of the close-ups to some of the girls genitals lets you know they've been in the industry for a tad too long. All I can say is loose lips sink ships, if you get my drift.

My Porn Grade: D

A silly plot with a sex detective (Traci Lords) is called upon to get the rich guy to reveal the heirs to his fortune. Early sex scene with a nebbish like assistant Tom Byron gets the movie off to a good start. Eventually Traci gets to the house of the rich dude but never has to have sex with the guy to solve the case. Instead Traci has her usual encounters with a guy (Peter North) and a lesbian scene. The scenes are fairly non descript except for Traci's scene with North. That is on fire hot. Sometimes when watching Traci the audience is left to wonder whether she stays on script always or improvises dialogue that equates with her mood or feelings at the moment? It's what made her performances draw her audience in. In this scene while North is giving Traci world class oral enjoyment she moans and groans as she grabs the back of North's head and presses his head between her legs. As she is doing this Traci is moaning with pleasure while saying over and over again "It's been too long....too long". One wonders if Traci is ad-libbing here indicating that she has not had sex with North in a long time and is excited and yearning for North to perform great sex with her or just acting? Only Traci knows for sure and given her revisionist history on her time in the porn industry it is highly doubtful she will ever tell us her secrets.

Stacey Donovan in interviews claimed she never liked performing in porn, only kept going to make lots of money, and that she was a virgin before her first film. The third part of this statement is often used by models to keep their porn career a secret from boyfriends and relatives. Watching one of her films made me doubt that part 3 was true. Stacey has the best scene in the movie with Traci Lords {Tracey Dick) and Tom Byron where the two detectives coach her on ways to cure her husband, Hannibal, from impotency. The second best is between Peter North and Traci, stretched out too long with a strange hiccuping noise she made. She grew so excited I was afraid she might hurt herself. This picture is kind of like a home video of a swinger's party with movie star guests, thinly plotted around a way to cure Hannibal long enough to read his will which might be written on his male organ.