Two Hearts

Gloria Leonard stubs her toe directing this whimsical Vivid feature, offering little for porn fans to ponder.

She also gets a story credit, but the story is very poor. Randy Spears has a tattoo on his dick put there by his dad which supposedly holds the meaning of life. He's impotent and offers a reward to whichever woman can get him up so the tatto will expand and be readable, with Ona Zee and Raquel Darrian competing.

Lead femme role actually goes to Kim Wylde, playing Randy's sex therapist, and cameos by Veronica Hart and Paul Thomas are a waste.

Not only is the entire movie a waste of time, but the tattoo's secret is just dumb, and hardly worth waiting for or finding out. For German audiences, the movie was stupidly retitled "Pussy-Cat".