Terror Firmer

Debbie Rochon as a blond? Wow, this is something different! Of course, this whole movie is something different.

Lloyd Kaufman has really pulled out all the stops to give us the grossest film I could ever imagine. No, I would be Lloyd Kaufman if I imagined this stuff - this is waaaay beyond my imagination.

Extreme amounts of blood and gore and body fluids and solids. This was the ultimate in gross, but you had to look.

Once again, there was a perfect part for me. I coulda been a contenda in indy film.

Not for those with a weak stomach.

Since I heard about this film back in 1999 I have been trying to get my hands on it and finally about a month ago I received the Director's Cut. This movie I will just say makes most Troma films look like childs play. Not necessarily for the gore (it was very gory) but for the sick and disgusting last 20 mimutes of this film. I really just don't want to even go into that right now as I have already watched the movie about 5 times with numerous friends and my brain really feels as if its gone down the toilet. This movie genuinely makes you feel gross. But from Troma, this is what you are going to get. Basically the story is about a group of low budget filmmakers start filming another Toxic Avenger movie and in the background there is a woman running around brutally murdering people. You're exposed to this right away as the opening scene is the killer ripping off a mans leg and beating him to death with it and then randomlly ripping a fetus out its mothers stomach. Pretty typical for Troma and rather hilarious. But I will give warning about the end of the movie as it has grossed out everyone I have shown it to. I don't know why I watch these films (I guess I'm just screwed up in the head). Anyway, this is still a great Troma film and it truly goes hand in hand with Tromas next big movie "Citizen Toxie" which is a must see also. 8 stars

Indy directors schooled in shock had two options when Hollywood stepped in and stole their thunder with bad taste comedy hits like THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY and American PIE.

1. Become like John Waters, lose your edge and deliver much tamer (and much more bland) stabs at the establishment or...

2. Up the ante in terms of nihilistic gore, nudity, amorality, cruelty and cheap toilet gags.

Lloyd Kaufman has, with this film, undoubtedly established himself as the poster boy for the latter. So possessed is this man to disgust, offend, shock and give viewers an alternative to good, decent, Speilbergian entertainment, he has whipped out a film that includes, but it certainly not limited to, dismemberment, decapitation, impalement, castration, breast mutilation, urination, scat, puking, incest, rape, child molestation, drug use, cheesy sound effects, flatulence, deformed sex organs, full nudity (male and female), a fetus ripped from a womb, soft core sex and gore-dripping overkill in any and every other possible department. I must say, that it's a hectic, erratic, messy film, but I was never once bored while watching it.

Since the story takes place around the set of an independent movie (invaded by a hermaphroditic serial killer who hacks his/her way through the cast and crew in an effort to shut down the production) we also get some commentary on how the film industry works (and how it doesn't) and on the comedic virtues found in the lowest of low human behavior.

All four of the leads (Will Keenan, Alyce LaTourelle, Trent Haaga and Debbie Rochon) are great. Kaufman himself also shows considerable on-screen appeal as Larry Benjamin, the aloof director of the film in question, who also happens to be blind, an idea copied by Woody Allen for his acclaimed (but apparently not all that original) film Hollywood ENDING in 2001!

Fair enough to say that not everyone will be able to endure TERROR FIRMER, but be grateful someone has the audacity to slap Tinseltown in the face by beating them at their own game. The video and DVD both contain deleted scenes and outtakes and are available in uncut or R-rated versions. Watch for a cameo by SOUTH PARK creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone and Motorhead's Lemmy during an amusing end credit sequence.

Just like Lloyd Kaufman's awesome book, All I Need to Know About Filmmaking I Learned from the Toxic Avenger, this movie is an offbeat, hilarious, gratuitously sleazy (in a good way) item about the world of independent filmmaking. Everyone who reads this should stop and go see the movie if that is at all possible... NOW!

The makers of a Troma film, including its director Larry Benjamin (Troma head honcho Lloyd Kaufman) are both hard at work and hard at play. Some of its crew members get targeted by a crazed mystery woman (Sheri Wenden), who's busy slaughtering people in inventive ways.

It wouldn't be inaccurate to consider "Terror Firmer" a magnum opus, as far as Troma product goes. It goes on a LOT longer than a typical film from the independent studio, clocking in at almost two hours. As a result, if you're not on board with the kind of crude, graceless tomfoolery on display, that will make sticking with this difficult if not impossible.

Of course, if you're a fan of Kaufman and these guys & gals, you'll be amply rewarded with an amazing plethora of bad taste gags and twisted characters. In his review for the excellent sleeper "Def by Temptation", Leonard Maltin referred to Troma as being "aggressively schlocky", which is as good a way to describe them as any. Here they have tremendous fun just tossing anything resembling decorum out the window. They've always *embraced* the tackiness to be found in many a B picture, and you can certainly see that in a lot of the hammy, campy performances and the onslaught of hilariously crude gore effects.

The cast is enthusiastic as Hell. Future Oscar winners they might never be, but they give this production everything that they've got. Will Keenan, Trent Haaga, and Alyce LaTourelle play the love triangle at the heart of the story, with the appealing LaTourelle cast as the script girl who gets a chance to be an acting star. Uncle Lloyd himself is a gas as the flamboyant director, who happens to be blind. B movie icon Debbie Rochon is fine as temperamental actress Christine; look for cameos by such people as Ron Jeremy, Lemmy, and Joe Franklin.

*Obviously* not to many tastes, but if you love Troma to begin with, you'll likely have a good time.

Inspired by the book "All I Know About Filmmaking I Learned from the Toxic Avenger", written by Kaufman and Troma alumnus James Gunn.

Seven out of 10.