Produced by the prolific William Dancer (LITTLE GIRLS BLUE, EXPENSIVE TASTE, CHOPSTIX) and directorially credited to one Tom Janovich, who seems to have vanished without a trace since, this lighthearted porn comedy provides a veritable grab bag of sexual variations performed by a large cast of genre legends and heavy duty fan favorites. While not a blockbuster by any stretch of the imagination, being driven by flimsy premise rather than well-developed plot, you could do a lot worse than spend an hour and a half of your precious time on this title.
Following the hilariously foulmouthed title song, we're whisked to the offices of Playaround Magazine and its editor Harry Freeman who's in the middle of interviewing the four finalists in a sexy short story contest with a $ 50,000 first prize attached. In order to win, the girls have to act out their fantasies for real with assorted ringers acting as judges. If you're wondering about the point of all this, you might be better off sticking with what's playing at your local multiplex. This is adult though, so sex is the point. Two of the contestants, blonde Anne (Sharon Kane) and brunette Barbarella (Valerie Darlyn), kick off proceedings with an expertly lensed outdoor Sapphic grope just for fun. For the grand prize, Anne orchestrates a fling on the deck of a luxury yacht with the equally blonde captain (Jesse Adams) while Barbarella moonlights as a gypsy fortune teller with unhappily married Kandi Barbour (the perky receptionist in Cecil Howard's PLATINUM PARADISE) and Jon Martin. Sharon, of course, stood at the beginning of a very distinguished dirty movie career that continues to this very day and still had hair down to her buttocks. Valerie only made a handful of movies but registered strongly in every single one. You may recall her playing wicked stepmother to SERENA in Fred Lincoln's 1979 showcase for the superstar of the same name. That same Serena pops up here as Danielle, performing the popular Lady & Limo driver routine with chauffeur John Seeman (clumsy inspector Blackie in Bob Chinn's superbly silly HOT AND SAUCY PIZZA GIRLS), teasing him from the back seat with gigolo pickup Blair Harris before letting him sample her wares himself to the tune of Johnny Pearson's timeless "Sleepy Shores". Now there's an overworked piece of porno music.
Ravishing redhead Dorothy LeMay is stuck-up rich girl Cindy who gets some attitude adjustment (yeah, well, it's that kind of film) from cackling maniac Aaron Stuart (who played the shy husband of Jesie St. James in Anthony Spinelli's TALK DIRTY TO ME) who straps her to a revolving St. Andrew's cross. What could've ended up as disparagingly nasty is ultimately played more for (sick) laughs with Stuart's over the top ranting and his spur of the moment use of a banana as what was then euphemistically called a marital aid. She's rescued, if such were necessary, by David Morris who then has a bit of literal slap 'n' tickle himself. Knowledgeable fans are well aware of the sometime confusion between Morris and the aforementioned Blair Harris. The actors resembled each other facially but Morris was much shorter in stature. Look closely and you'll spot him wearing platforms ! LeMay had a profitable career carved out playing air-headed girlfriends to the likes of Mike Ranger in Kirdy Stevens' excellent TABOO (1980) but would astonish even mainstream Hollywood people with her acting ability in Rinse Dream's groundbreaking NIGHTDREAMS (1981) playing the demented Mrs Van Houten.
The story's resolved in the most perfunctory way imaginable, i.e. Freeman can't make up his mind and decides to grant each of the women first prize. This cop out hardly matters as the plentiful poking effortlessly holds the attention with the action running from tender (Sharon and Jesse's beautifully shot lovemaking on the ship's deck) to rough (Dorothy's ordeal) with plenty of good old fashioned raunch in between.
