- Dad Turner: Timmy... I'm respecting your privacy by knocking, but asserting my authority as your father by coming in anyway.
- [Timmy throws a water balloon at Francis, which misses him and ends up hitting someone in France]
- The French: We surrender!
- Timmy Turner: Dogs have great sense of smell, they can see in black and white, and they can go to the bathroom any where they want.
- Cosmo: So can I, I'm just polite.
- Cosmo: [Cosmo as gelatin] Gaze into my jiggly goodness and see the artificial falsehood of your words.
- Mom Turner: Timmy, you know you're not supposed to make your father scream like a girl three times in one day.
- Timmy Turner: Wow, my mom as a kid.
- Young Dad Turner: Yeah... and she's got a beautiful name. It's...
- [a Mack truck, blowing its horn drives by Timmy and Young Dad]
- Young Dad Turner: ...but everybody calls her Mom.
- Timmy Turner: This is great! A world without girls. I can do whatever I want!
- Timmy Turner: [farts] I'm free!
- Cosmo: [Cosmo sniffs the air] Wow, freedom stinks.
- Dad Turner: [to Mom Turner getting her vegetables ready] Hurry, honey! The judges are judging and the Dinkelburgs are Dinkelburging!
- Timmy Turner: I wish I could leave this room inconspicuously.
- [Cosmo turns his desk legs into rockets. Timmy blasts through the ceiling]
- Timmy Turner: Aaaagggghhh!
- Wanda: [to Cosmo] It means without being noticed.
- Cosmo: Well, if he wasn't screaming, he wouldn've been noticed.
- Cosmo: If Wanda sees this, she's gonna think I'm an idiot.
- Timmy Turner: And this would be news to her *how*?
- Cosmo: Oh, relax, Timmy. She'll probably stop laughing when that alien flower you gave her eats her heart out at midnight.
- Denzel Crocker: [shows painting] And here's another painting... The Scream.
- Timmy Turner: Why is he screaming?
- Denzel Crocker: Because he was wrong! And he got an F!
- [unrolls bottom of painting to reveal a table next to the screaming person, with an F on it]
- Denzel Crocker: Like you!
- [sticks a paper marked F on Timmy's hair]
- Dad: [sees Timmy looking at Mr. Crocker in a dress on his computer]
- Dad: Egad! You know you're not supposed to be on those kinds of websites!
- Timmy Turner: But that's my teacher.
- Dad: Well it does make him look pretty...
- Vicky: All right twerp, time for bed!
- Timmy Turner: But it's only six-o-four!
- Vicky: Well, it's nine-o-four on the East Coast. BED!
- [one moment later, in Timmy's bedroom, Timmy's clock changes to six-o-five]
- Cosmo: Now it's nine-o-five on the East Coast!
- Computer: Uploading proof of fairies. One percent.
- Denzel Crocker: YAY!
- Computer: Zero percent.
- Denzel Crocker: Boo! Curse this obsolete one month old technology!
- Computer: Negative one percent.
- Jorgen von Strangle: For failing to distract the dragon, the handsome fairy loses! However, he is still very sexy.
- Wandisimo: This I can live with.
- Mom Turner: [Timmy is eating ceral like a dog] He sure is hungry.
- Dad Turner: No, no, that's just the way all kids eat cereal now; face first. I'm hip!
- [Starts to eat his cereal like Timmy]
- Timmy Turner: [School bus arrives] School bus! School bus! Chase! Chase! Chase! Chase!
- Dad Turner: Wow, does Timmy love school or what?
- [Sticks face into cup of hot coffee]
- Dad Turner: Oww, hot! It doesn't work with hot!
- Wanda: Look at our chart. 99.9% Timmy. 0.01% Other.
- Timmy Turner: What's the other?
- Wanda, Cosmo: Timmy!
- Denzel Crocker: [Principal Waxelplax has locked everyone inside the classroom] No! I can't be locked in a room with children! I'm not a people person! I'm barely a person!
- [ducks behind his desk]
- Denzel Crocker: HELP!
- Wanda: [Wanda is reading a book in the "All Men are Morons" section of the library] Oh, Hillary! How did you put up with it?