Parole Violators

Took a chance on this one after seeing a RLM best if the worst and seeing the positive reviews and this movie does not disappoint from the heavy gunfire, explosions, roundhouse kicks to the driving synth soundtrack that never lets up for a second in the movie. This movie kicked ass, made me laugh and kept me entertained, that's the mark of a b movie gem.

This movie's a masterpiece of crap. I don't think I've witnessed so much action in one movie, it literally goes from one action scene into another. The female lead is wooden beyond belief, I really can't explain how special her acting is. The bad guy pedophile is supposed to be Mexican but looks more Asian, and his sidekick who also is supposed to be Mexican is clearly white. The lead guy gets kicked in the head about 50 times and generally gets beaten up throughout the movie, yet continues on like nothing happened. The ending was really a thing of brauty, health and safety had nothing to do with the making of this . There are countless one liners, funny scene's and continuity errors to look out for. It's as if the makers worked in a karate school and invited their students to be in a movie. I loved watching this and have done 3 times, it's one of the best bad films of all time. If you like ninja terminator, samurai cop or killing American style; this is the movie for you.

If you scan reviews for 'Parole Violators' you'll quickly see two camps. The first know it's a low budget flick, but welcome it's camp style, effort and laughs (mostly unintentional) while the latter see it as a big waste of time. Honestly this works best if you're up for a pic that doubles as trashy fun & a modest vanity project from the Donahue father (director) & son (star) team.

Ex-cop Miles Long (Sean Donahue) flexes his brand of vigilante justice by recording criminals in the act and busting them up for his "Parole Violator" tv show. Then hardened criminal and child sex offender Chino (Rey Garcia) a man he once put behind bars gets out and quickly falls into old habits, revenge. Chino and his thug posse kidnap the young daughter of girlfriend Tracy (Pamela Bosley) who is a cop herself.

The name of the game here is extreme physical pain. Numerous fist fights, Miles tumbling off rooftops, hills, outta windows, over trees, freefalls, vehicles hitting him. The fact of the matter is he gets put through the ringer start to finish. He dishes some out, but also gets the brakes beaten off of him. There is also the requisite gunplay near the finale. In between you get some cringe but funny dialog, scene where a certain someone certainly doesn't know how to make spaghetti and a simplistic synch score. Of course, some poor acting too.

'Parole Violators' has it's moments, but I wouldn't go as far to say it's "downright charming" to watch. There's a level of kitsch like an IA cop obsessed with writing in his notebook. Story, villains are kinda hokey, but with a 80 min runtime and funny bits not all is lost.

Sean 'Blood Hands' Donahue is the implausibly resilient, zero tolerance Miles, disillusioned ex-cop turned righteous video vigilante, using one steely, muscular hand to film the parole violating skells, the other as his clenched, iron-hard hammer of ultimate vengeance, always primed and cocked to permanently retire recidivist criminals, sending their ragged, busted-up remains to the misbegotten hell that spawned them! BOOM!!!!! It is a genuinely elusive thrill to discover a bodacious B-Movie that is quite so generously stuffed to bursting point with audaciously entertaining weirdness and untamed psychotronic madness, but 'Patrol Violators' is all that and a freebie packet of gin-soaked prophylactics! There's a trauma-inducing, super-freaky logic to the Donahue brother's energized,low budget, high-test, high impact fight frenzy schematics! If you don't understand something, kick it!!! Shoot at it!!! Shout at it!!! Or throw yourself manfully on top of a rapidly moving vehicle! Right on! Miles is one tenacious Video Cop!!!

From the gutsy opening sequence wherein the despicable sleaze, Chino (Rey Garcia) is released from a 5-year stretch, the giddy viewer discovers somewhat ironically that 'Parole Violators' takes no prisoners, as pint-sized, powerhouse kickboxing crim-killer, Miles and his honourable Kung Fu crusade to righteously clean up the skell-encrusted streets is an unrelenting tour de force of spleen-shattering, Bad Guy busting, bullet-thrashing bellicosity that is wholly unsurpassed in its relentless, fur-flailing ferocity! The vivid, non-stop action and hyperactive weirdness makes 'The Miami Connection' look like month old baloney! As the dangerously nerve-strafing stunts, stupendously earnest, unfiltered 'acting' and frequent grisly-gory fight scenes overwhelm you like, Jim Van Bebber's 'Deadbeat at Dawn' on tainted Donkey biscuits!

Rigorously maintaining DTV action movie protocols, the 'maniacal climax in the Abandoned Warehouse' is a triumphant symphony of generously blood-spattered, awesomely acrobatic svelte-limbed savagery and gonzo Gun Fu mayhem! But be prepared to put reality into a blender while you experience 'Parole Violators' as you shall never see action movies in quite the same way again! In summation, I sincerely feel that the astronomically bonkers 'Parole Violators' has the kind of singularly frenzied, hyperbolic madness you only generally see in a Godfrey Ho 'cut n' paste-Ninja epic', and if Wile E Coyote made B-Movies it might well resemble, Patrick G. Donahue's vastly under praised, dopamine-injected DTV doozie!

Although my summary might suggest sarcasm, I assure you that I seriously consider this to be one of the funniest movies I have ever seen. I received this movie as a gag birthday gift and my initial reaction to the DVD cover was "Wow, this looks awful!", but I decided to give it a chance anyway. To my surprise, this movie turned out to be a comedic gem. What actually makes this movie so hilarious is that it takes itself so seriously. I am sure that the makers of this movie had every intention of creating a gritty action/crime drama, but they failed on every level. Between the unbearable acting, terrible dialog, God-awful stunts and absurd characters you are left feeling visually and mentally raped if you take a serious approach at watching this movie. Instead, watch this movie with a non-critical eye, trying to see it as funny and you may actually end up thoroughly entertained. As a serious movie it is a complete crap fest, but as a comedy I give it a 9 out of 10. The only reason I didn't rate this movie a full 10 was due to the lack of gratuitous nudity. You will find that there are many scenes where nudity or sex seems inevitable, but never happens. In my opinion, this is the only disappointing factor. Regardless, sit back and enjoy the masterpiece that is "Parole Violators".