I LOVE SEX is a somewhat dubious title for what turns out to be one of those '70s white-coaters: boring movies pretending to have educational content to cover up their status as porn.

Film opens unpromisingly with a busty blonde being humped on a carpet -no intro. A lecturer identifies the couple as Randolph & Della, but they don't know each other's names (just like in LAST TANGO). He starts to tell us about the personal and impersonal aspects of sex. (I'm guessing already that sitting in some grind house, or in my case at home watching this crap falls into the impersonal bucket, voyeur division.)

David & June are presented as an example of the Personal side, evidencing a deep emotional attachment. She's an ultra-busty Black girl taking a shower, humping tall, white David. The narrator hands out b.s. as we watch mechanical, mixed-combo sex. Voice-over also stresses the importance of marriage, a time- honored "social redeeming value". Maybe with marriage equality now on the books, we'll be seeing a new wave of Gay Porn relying on this hoary device.

Next segment returns to the initial couple: Randolph & Della. They're nude in the kitchen talking that baby-talk porn-speak, as they perform a second sex scene at the dinner table, and "Aquarius" plays on the soundtrack, followed by "Shangri- la" and other muzak. The improvised dialog to fill dead air and very poor dubbing of groans, oohs and ahhs completes the nauseating package.

A nondescript couple is shown next, humping on that same old rug previously used by R & D. It turns out to be another type of rug: Keith Erickson is the guy wearing a bad rug and phony beard. The girl turns out to be a star, Helen Madigan slumming. Keith delivers his reliable "no hands" money shot.

Finale has Madigan again, playing a different character as we're not supposed to recognize her, even though the anonymous geniuses who put this baby together present her segments back to back. She has a little bandage on her leg, just one of those unfathomable mysteries that keep me watching porn intently.