Bargain Hunt

When I first started watching Bargain Hunt, I dismissed David Dickinson as a harmless clown. The entire purpose of the show, moreover, seemed to be that the people at flea markets and antique shows always know the worth of their goods and will get the better of the buyer almost every single time. After several seasons, however, I've changed my mind.

First, Dickinson is indeed a bit of a clown, but he also imparts much more realistic and helpful information on antiques and collectibles than almost any of the competing programs. Want to know how to tell cut glass from pressed glass? Interested in spotting fake brass figurines? Has your antique table been hybridized? Is your rare vase a victim of some restorer's attempt to cover up the chips and cracks? You're much more likely to discover the answer to these questions on Bargain Hunt than on Antiques Roadshow or even the otherwise wonderful Cash in the Attic.

So, too, will Dickinson be much more honest with his colleagues in the field, not to mention the poor contestants who blow their wad on some worthless twentieth century imitation fakery. As opposed to the valuers, who almost always over-reach, Dickinson seems to have a much better pulse on the only real value of items up for auction, which is, of course, defined as the money someone is willing to pay--and no more. And especially pity the poor contestant who overpays for some silver plated trifle. How bad it must be to have Dickinson laughing at you on nationwide TV, while revealing that you spent £200 on a POS.

Comparatively speaking, Dickinson is brutal to the people who appear on his program. And what a breath of fresh air it all is. How truly informative and honest in comparison to the pasty faced gnomes who mumble greedy nothings into the ears of the gullible and avaricious lemmings lined up on Antiques Roadshow. Dickinson reveals the real business side of antiques. And when he's through, you'll realize making money in the art and antiques world is not nearly so easy as it seems.

Finally, one other thing to note. If I were a seller OR a buyer, I'd sure hate to have Dickinson on the other side of the transaction.

I will always have fond memories of this.

It's not a show I would ever watch on my own but it made for an agreeable thing to just have on when I visited my grandparents.

It's fun but inobtrusive and the many little trinkets gave grandma and me a lot to chat about.

It was fairly fast paced, very positive, but never lost the feel of a competition with a ticking clock.

The vignette about some type of local curiosity mixed it up swimmingly and they have an army of energetic and likable hosts.

That Scottish chick and look over family jewels any day.

But it's irritating when they say "what's your BEST price?" and they get told it and THEN try to haggle it down. I mean...dude: do you know what "best" means?

Two teams of amateur antiques collectors are given £500 & sent out to hunt for bargains in one of the many antique fairs the length & breadth of the British Isles. An expert is on hand to help with advice on what to buy and how to haggle. The antiques are later sold at a local auction. The team to make the most profit wins.

Doesn't sound like the most exciting show eh? Well you've reckoned without the charm, flair & caddish wit of the one & only . . . the man, the myth, The Duke . . . David Dickinson! With his dapper suits, the spray on tan & classic barnet he is a mix of Lovejoy & Roger Moore with an added dash of Leslie Phillips & a merest hint of David Niven! One eye on the antiques & one eye on the ladies he took the daytime schedules by storm ripping up the rule book of dull TV & is now pushing open the envelope of entertainment in a prime-time slot!

His love of antiques & the ladies radiates out of the screen! The warmth flows from the TV - every man wants to be him, every woman wants to be loved by him! Resplendent in his classic English gent finery & his trademark quips - "cheap as chips", "for the ladies " - he is never afraid to take the mickey out of himself with the many sketches that permeate the show. Nevertheless when it comes to the final showdown, the climactic auction, The Duke knows his stuff! He is honest in his evaluation of the antiques bought by the contestants & is invaribly proved right but is the first to admit when he has misjudged an item. No matter how much you know - & The Duke knows a lot - you can still be surprised. Such is the random factor of the antique buying world!

Whilst interviewing the contestants & throughout the show there are various asides to the camera. Knowing glances. Wonderful quips. He involves the public at home. Whether in council flat or castle millions of bums are on the edge of millions of seats. Will the contestants make a profit? What witty aside will The Duke come out with next? Throughout we are referred to as Bargain Hunters not viewers! Its true, aren't we all in some way Bargain Hunters of one sort or another in the great antique fair of life?

For so long the sole delight of the daytime viewer - the unemployable, the chore neglecting housewife, the layabout student - Bargain Hunt is now in a prime-time evening slot. Make no excuses! Delay no longer! Watch one episode & become hooked! You know it makes sense!

A very entertaining programme based on the simple premises that you try to buy articles cheap at antique fairs and then sell them at a profit at auction. There are to teams of two each with an expert to help them. My favourite expert is Phillipa Deeley from Tunbridge Wells although she is not that good. My least favourite is Michael Hogben who appears to be a bit of a wide boy from the south coast. I do, however acknowledge the expertise of David Barby and James Braxton. The star is David ( Duke ) Dickinson who presents with warmth humour and knowledge. The programme has been transfered to prime time but it has suffered from two things. 1. It has been up against the very popular soaps 2. They have tried to inject too much humour into it.

The pitch befell the rain before the pitch of tents to sell, Eight hundred antique dealers pitched their wares and wants so well. But through the throng, as ancient songs did hum from gramophone Did enter David Dickinson, with Blues and Reds along.

"I hereby give two hundred quid. Go, ye, find me a bargain!" As off did run the Reds and Blues, with cameramen a joggin' And experts following behind, not keeping with the pace, and knowing well some team will spend before they reach that place.

David, he did look abroad, then to his camera, quipped. "This here's the Sheffield's finest sale, but the weather's sunk a bit. "So though the prices would be high, the water's wearing down. "Disaster for the sellers, but Bargain Hunt's in town!"

The Reds, they found an hourglass of minted silver and stone. "That thing's a hundred and twenty quid," the keeper spat, alone. The expert said, "I don't believe its price will come at sale." But when Reds bought it anyway, his eyes did roll and wail.

The Blues, they found a coffret made in eighteen sixty two. "Slightly damaged," said the expert, "But that price will do." So they didn't haggle much as it was only fifty quid. Time was of the essence, two more items left to bid.

An hour passed, and David looked upon the gathered lot, To scour and to scowl at each of the many things they bought. His scrunched up face did quite deface Red's investment there. While Blues were quite content, excitement static'ed in the air.

A week to clean and polish before Red and Blue did seat Along with David Dickinson at a Lime Street auction meet. The hammers snapped, the sales ran, the time had quickly passed. And found the Blues deep in the blues, for they did come in last.

And so, with wry humility, the Duke did sigh and grin. For only time can tell the tale of just which side will win. "The winners this week were the Reds. They netted fifty four." Then flashed his grin, "Come back next week for two contestants more."