Kermit der Frosch

although I couldn't put my finger on why. I could have picked it up at Wal-Mart for five bucks, and yet I didn't. There was something about the packaging and the ads I'd seen that made me think "This isn't a Muppet film. This is a kids' movie by people who think they know what kids like" and I didn't know what made me think that way.

Until a few minutes ago, when the answer struck me like a lead brick: Color.

In most, if not all, Muppet productions to date, it has been much easier to ignore the fact that the characters are fairly brightly colored, felt objects, because of the surrounding color. The Muppet Show took place in a dimly lit theater, with dark burgundy curtains serving as Kermit's introductory backdrop. Sesame Street is, for the most part, dark grey. Fairly subdued, real-type places. The Muppet Movie ranges the gamut, but it always takes place in real locations, with no bright colors added for the sake of bright colors. And that's what was missing from (at least the promotional portions of) this movie. It seemed like they were aiming for kids because nothing seemed real. Including the grass. Including the swamp. None of it seemed like it was even *attempting* to be real, and so it was difficult for me to take it seriously enough to even desire to watch it.

It might be a good movie. I don't know. Maybe I'll learn different sometime.

But for this Muppet fan, it was just asking for one unbelief-suspension too many.

Kermit's Swamp Years (2002, Dir. David Gumpel)

Kermit the Frog whilst on his travels back to the swamp he grew up on, remembers one of his earlier adventures. Kermit, Croaker, Goggles and Blotch are sent on a wild adventure into the outside world, when Croaker and bully Blotch and kidnapped and placed in a pet store. It's now up to Kermit and Goggle, with help from a friendly dog called Pilgrim to save them. But someone else has his eye on them. Dr Krassman wants to buy all the frogs and use them in biology lessons.

When you first look at 'Kermit's Swamp Year's', it should be obvious at first, that it is not going to live up to the fun you get when watching a 'Muppets' title, but after watching Kermits life, it's obvious what is missing; The Muppets. Most things are here. The suitable story, the quality of the puppets and even Waldolf and Statler. The songs are slightly disappointing, with the longest song being quite bad. It can sometime feel very drawn out, and makes you really miss the likes of Miss Piggy and Gonzo. But still if you are a Muppet fan, then you should at least catch up on this story, but youngest are gonna like it more.

"I'm not a froggy pants." - Young Hugo Krassman (Hampton Dixon)

This recent Muppet film has been greeted with accusations of cynical "cashing-in" on the part of the producers. These can be easily batted away, however, when one comes to personally experience this re-imagining of Kermit's origins.

With a batch of new, but undeniably 'muppet' friends, Kermit begins life as just another ordinary frog - but it is the fact that he could love and can dream that sets him apart and on the road to fame.

I was reminded of the opening scenes of 'The Muppet Movie', when 'Rainbow Connection', and the spindly-legged creature singing it, stole my infant heart and replaced it with a font of dreams and wandering imagination. At that age I wondered what Kermit was doing on the swamp planet of Dagobah,not recognising the Florida everglades. In a way, I feel that this was a correct, spiritual link to make - between Henson's musical amphibian and Oz's diminutive sage the common truth that it is "not easy being green" is shared.

With Kermit's name in the title, the film is a must for fans, or rather, kin of the muppets. The 'Disney's franchise' years are behind it, unsavoury memories of the corporate-flavoured 'Muppets in Disneyworld' TV special are expunged from the memory and the renaissance engendered by 'Muppets in Space' continues apace.

The original muppet-makers' hands are less in evidence on this film, but don't let that turn you away. In many ways this is the spiritual cousin, and, oddly, natural accompaniment to the Star Wars prequels.

stars: Steve Whittemire as Kermit and other. Bill Barretta as Croaker and D'fly. John Kennedy as Arnie the alligator and others. Dave Goelz as Waldorf. Jerry Nelson as Statler.

Interesting little movie about Kermit when he was little. The good things about it were the great look the movie had due to the cameras they used to film it. It had funny references to the Muppets as they are today, including Kermit mentioning that he doesn't like pigs, an appearance by young men Statler and Waldorf and Arnie the alligator which was a character that appeared on the show and was in the Muppet Movie. The plot was that Kermit and Croaker the frogs are going to be dissected for a school project, but escape. Meant for little kids, but adults will enjoy it too.

My rating: B minus. 81 mins.

Kermit's Swamp Years will likely be a delight for little kids - very little ones - preferably those who have not been acquainted with the Muppets. I employ this statement with emphasis because I feel that anyone who has had any kind of relationship with the Muppet characters we've come to know and love will find this film dreadfully childish and a few steps away from being an insult to the iconic characters' respective legacies.

I can't say they'd be incorrect; this is a pretty immature affair, combining an annoying amount of bathroom humor with a subpar, obligatory fish-out-of-water story that results in tedium and boredom with only a seventy-five minute runtime. It concerns Kermit (voiced by Steve Whitmire, who, I'll say, does a pretty damn good job) who is returning back to his homeland, the swamps, after an extended absence. While cruising down the road on his scooter, he recaps a keen adventure he had with his pals Croaker the Frog and Goggles the Toad, as they naively ventured outside the boundaries of the swamp into, gasp, the land inhabited by shiny creatures (automobiles) and humans.

This lands them in a direct battle with a high school biology teacher (John Hostetter) who wants to collect amphibians for his class's forthcoming dissection. When they team up with a dog named Pilgrim (Cree Summer, who has voice credits on Clifford The Big Red Dog, Drawn Together, and Rugrats), they try and find a way to survive out in the newland and return to their homeland.

For a film titled "Kermit's Swamp Years," very little of the film actually takes place in the swampland. We open with widescale shots, mostly aerial ones, of the swampland and its inhabitants. The scenes provide one with almost a travelogue-esque image of the swamp and warm our hearts with the beauty and the incomprehensible majestic qualities below. Then a fly swoops into the picture, makes some horribly childish jokes, and then we see Kermit on his scooter and the plot begins. We're in the swamp maybe fifteen minutes before we're taken to the archetypal territory of the mainlands, which are no fun in comparison.

In addition, I can't help but feel that Kermit's Swamp Years, in itself, is disrespectful to the proud, invaluable legacy Jim Henson left behind. His Muppet characters had heart and wit, and would never stoop down to the level of inane bathroom-talk as a means of humor and cheap laughs. The relationships with each other - man or Muppet - felt genuine and real; the characters' names you knew for a reason. Watching several Muppet shows when I was a child, I never wanted to get up and leave the couch or have the show end. It was a magical, priceless world I was inhabiting, and I had no intention of leaving it; the real world seemed monotonous and drearily perfunctory. I almost couldn't wait to be done with Kermit's Swamp Years for the exact opposite reason.

I return full-circle to the point I began this review with; this film will be enjoyed by little, little kids. Seven and up may want to move on to old-school Nickelodeon.

Starring: John Hostetter. Voiced by: Steven Whitmire and Cree Summer. Directed by: David Grumpel.