Coronado

The Coronado DVD was for sale very cheaply in one of the Danish department store chains, so I bought it. I have to say I'm pretty happy with it.

For one thing - the main thing, actually -, it stars Kristin Datillo. I haven't seen the Chris Isaak Show that has apparently made her something of a household name, but I saw her on Hull High, a 1990 TV series, and never forgot about her. I didn't even know what her name was until I got this DVD, so that was a very positive surprise. She's fabulous. Very strong on both looks and personality. And she fits this movie incredibly well, because there is a red thread of subtle self-irony that goes all the way through this movie, and Datillo has the same sort of attitude, while at the same time being a serious and convincing actress and giving a very cool performance.

The extra material on the DVD clarifies how incredibly far the producers stretched the budget, getting a grand, epic and expensive-looking movie out of a meager budget, a lot of well-done computer and miniature prop effects, and a cheap on-location shoot in Mexico ($30 to have a train speeding by: they bought the train drivers lunch!). Very impressive! Considering how difficult it is for the actors to pretend that they're in completely different situations than they really are, the performances given must be said to be all-round excellent.

The movie itself, storywise, isn't much. For a long time, there is *no plot* other than Datillo's character running around looking for her fiancé. As they get embroiled in a central-American revolution (with both sides getting weapons supplied by the U.S.), the plot picks up somewhat, but remains an excuse for the SFX. Technically, it's an interesting package, but the story really is quite weak. It is saved by Datillo's charisma and the genuinely suspenseful and impressive-looking action scenes. It ends on a kind of critical note in terms of U.S. foreign policy, as the rebels are abandoned by their U.S. weapons dealers (who decide to back the other side), but manage to seize power anyway, thus bringing a more democratic government to the country instead of a U.S. controlled puppet government.

All in all, this movie is (and was most likely made as) a study of just how impressive a special-effects spectacular can be created from a very small budget ($4.7 million), and as such it is quite successful. The DVD cover even claims that it looks like a $100 million movie, which in fact is almost true.

6 out of 10.

Being a bad-movie aficionado, I was immediately intrigued by the prominent byline on the DVD case boasting about the special effects team--not the lead actors, director, or producers--the SFX. I figure this film looks bad, the DVD is only $1, and I'll give it a go!

This is not a terrible film; it was obviously made by professionals. It's competently shot, lit, and edited, it's in focus, and the sound effects and dialogue are well-recorded. The orchestral score by German composer Ralf Wienrich is surprisingly good, several cuts above most low-budget features. The action moves along very well; this film is generally entertaining and never downright boring, except possibly during the plodding opening credits. The actors do a half-decent job, with heroine Kristin Datillo and dictator John Rhys-Davies standing out. Reviewers who accuse this film of being the "worst ever!" belie their unfamiliarity with genuinely boring and incompetently-made snooze-fests by directors such as Coleman Francis. In summary, the film is well-made, coherent, and fun, and the filmmakers obviously knew enough not to take themselves too seriously.

The main problem is the script. It's badly clichéd, overly frenetic, not as genuinely funny as the filmmakers want it to be, and blatantly contrived to link the SFX-laden action sequences together. These factors in themselves aren't fatal, as some low-budget films manage to overcome these flaws. The big problems hit during the movie's second half.

The film's first half is your basic McGuffin setup in which stylish California wife Claire (Kristin Datillo) tries to surprise her fiancé Will (Michael Lowry) on business in Switzerland, only to discover that he is actually in the mysterious Central American country of El Coronado, and may be involved in an ongoing revolution there. She connects with journalist and adventurer Arnet McClure (Clayton Rohner) and his cameraman and sidekick, go on a quest to find both her lost fiancé and the mysterious rebel forces, and wind up being pursued by the El Coronado military. Much of the dialogue is silly, with numerous one-liners falling flat, but this segment of the film is pretty good overall; the bridge sequence in particular is very well-done.

Then Claire is found by the rebels, whose base is hidden in a cavern housing hidden Mayan ruins, accessed by flying helicopters through a waterfall(!)... the shark jumps here.

From this point forward, the story goes in too many directions at once, veering down plot dead-ends and frequently becoming illogical at best and ridiculous at worst. Our heroine supports the revolution for reasons that never become clear--perhaps because the movie would end if she didn't. She finds her fiancé, who seems set up to be a villain, but he never seems very villainous because he gets very little dialogue and then disappears from the story. Rebel commander Sancho (Daniel Zacapa) is introduced, but he never really does anything except behave roguishly charming and rescue Claire when the plot demands it. Rebel leader Rafael (Byron Quiros) and dictator Presidente Ramos (John Rhys-Davies, in the film's funniest performance) are introduced; however, we never learn why the revolution is occurring, other than some vague blather about tyranny. OK, Rafael is photogenic and gives good inspirational speeches, and the Presidente is a pompous buffoon--which makes one wonder how effective he is at oppressing people.

This scattershot plot is accompanied by heavy-handed CGI effects that haven't held up very well and quickly get overwhelming. Any viewers familiar with real-world aircraft and military operations will roll their eyes frequently as the filmmakers disregard basic military tactics and the laws of aerodynamics; the film almost seems like outright fantasy towards the end, as the director tries to overcome the story's shortcomings by throwing more CGI helicopters, tanks, and giant torch-wielding crowds at the screen. The viewer's disbelief must be suspended VERY high.

Older children will be entertained if they don't scoff too much at the dated effects. Fans of bad movies and seekers of cheap and ridiculous entertainment will enjoy it for the sake of laughing at its flaws. Other viewers may want to stay away.

One thing this movie has going for it is that it's over-the-top tone, shtick-laden dialogue, improbability, and ridiculous SFX absolutely beg to be riffed on "MST3K: The Return"; Jonah and Joel, are you listening?

I'd compare this film to the made-for-TV movies by TNT titled, "The Librarian" (Quest for the Spear, etc). Like that series this movie contains:

• Relatively unknown actors; often nonsensical plot twists; cheesy dialogue; and out-of-place, over-the-top special effects.

Yet somehow, like the Librarian TV-movies, it had enough entertainment value to keep me sticking around to see it to its end. Granted I have no plans to ever watch it again, but to see a movie of this budget produce the effects it did made me glad I watched it.

If you are expecting blockbuster quality steer clear you will be very disappointed, but if you can accept it as more of a campy made-for-TV type movie and understand it only cost 5$M give it a peek.. you might just be impressed too.

Well I was at Blockbuster looking for something to fill part of my Saturday and ran across this one stating the effects were from the team of Independence Day. That was the draw, and I just finished watching it.

Kristin Dattilo is the redeeming factor in this and I would like to see more of her, so I logged in here to see what else has has done. But as mentioned, that film is not a great piece of work. It is a good Saturday afternoon movie and not a waste of time.

The story line is a bit weak, but I was not looking for an in depth film, and I did laugh a few times. It is nice to see a woman as the action hero, granted this is not a Laura Croft movie, but it was worth the $4.

I bought this film off the bargain shelf. Which is just where it belonged. The story line (is there a story line in here?) has our frantic Blonde, Clair, chasing from the perfect surprise weekend in Switzerland to the dry dusty and sometimes tropical banana republic of Coronado. All because her boyfriend lied to her when he said he was going on a business trip to Switzerland. And once in Coronado, Clair becomes the centerpiece of a revolution. Sort of a low Budget "Romancing the Stone". It is not great, it is not really good, but it fun. My 13 year old daughter loves it. The film is campy, so get out your sleeping bag, make some popcorn and enjoy a good B grade adventure flick.