Malibu Spring Break

This is by far and away the stupidest thing I have ever seen on celluloid. I mean, we started watching it assuming it was a "skinemax T&A flick", but aside from a couple boobs, that was it. I mean, I get the point of making stupid movies in order to show some sex scenes, as they are the sole reason for a movie of that kind to be made. This movie, however, has no sex scenes, and really has no point at all. There is no linear time, the scenes travel around like a fart in the wind, people show up for no reason, then leave, and it is never explained, the plot is never advanced, and nothing happens. I have never been as flabbergasted at how bad a movie was until I saw this. Has the director even been to a film school? Has he ever seen a movie? I don't know, but from the looks of it, he seems to have made some moron proud with this piece of crap, as he is still working. I literally walked away from this movie dumber, but I still recommend watching it, as it should be shown in every film school of the country as an example in what not to do when making a film. Move over PLan 9 from Outer Space, you have a new contender for worst movie ever made.

This movie had lots of potential, beautiful women, cute guys, a beach, beer, a hot tub, a mansion on the beach, a swimming pool, a sexy maid who hates her job, and really nice cars. However, the movie had one thing that doomed it to failure... a full length script and a bunch of sexy women who want to give acting a try because they think it would be a cool idea.

Let's put it this way...

If you find yourself at a party and you have a choice between watching this movie or a childs potty training video from the 70s, choose the potty training video.

Wow, I just LOVED watching all these hot babes! The scenery around Malibu and California was off the fizzy. I could watch it again just to see all that flesh crammed into those tiny, teeny bikinis! I recently saw Pilar Lastra, the steaming hot housekeeper in Malibu Spring Break, as a center fold in my favorite mag, PLAYBOY. She is hot, hot HOT! The opening seen was bitchin. When the two main girls run out of gas and stop at this desert gas station, they drive the gas-guy nuts with their bodies and skimpy outfits! The slow-mo lets me enjoy every inch of them! My girlfriend liked looking at this shredded hot dude too (now I'd like a bod like that) and at all the other hot dudes....and some of the girls too! Any movie that can bring that out in my girlfriend is a 10 + for me!

2 deathly unfunny girls stays a their deathly unfunny Uncle Benny's beach house. Uncle Beeny doesn't like party. But guess what? the deathly unfunny girls have a, yup you guessed it, a deathly unfunny beach party. If you didn't catch the not so subliminal message that I'm trying to convey. First off, you're a moron. I would rather watch a nude jello tag team watching match between Bea Aurther and Cameryn Manhiem VS. Rosie O'Donnell and Jessica Tandy. This movie, and I lose the term loosely is just THAT bad.

My Grade: F

Eye Candy: Kristin Novak and Charity Rahmer go topless, Iva Singer shows breasts and buns

Not an Academy Award Winner but certainly a fun movie for you and a date. If you're home on a Friday night and want to giggle and cuddle with a certain homeboy, then pop in this movie. The girls are hot and the boys are even hotter. You'll both get turned on. The dialog is a little cliché but camp is in, right? There's a little bit of Weekend at Bernie's mixed with Girls Gone Wild. Michelle and Brianne leave Arizona to spend Spring Break with their Uncle in Malibu and yes, you can see where the plot is going but there's a mixture of fun, sun and sexy kids so who cares. The Uncle doesn't want them to have a party but you guessed it, they go ahead and do it anyway. Mayhem ensues. Lots of topless moments from girls and boys. Spring Break is supposed to be fun which is what they did with this movie!