Piratenmassaker

u wanna make a cool trash movie ? Watch this one and u know how u don't do it. Jochen Taubert doesn't know how to make a movie, even a bad one. I'm wondering that there are distributors out there, making his movies official. I mean, it's OK to do anything u want, but Mr. Taubert should check for another work. He can't direct, he can't edit. The soundtrack doesn't fit a bit, taking very bad rock songs from an unknown German band. Lyrics:" One, two, three, four, five, six seven. You're in heaven, you're in hell" promise the worst movie experience in your life. If u want to have cheap trash and slash movies, get some Fulci, Argento or D'Amato. Don't waste money on Jochen Taubert !!!

I rated this movie so high simply because it is so awful that it is good already. The movie production has maybe never reached the 200€ limit, but every singe cent was wasted in a useful matter. so if you like trash movies that are hand made by a group of amateurs, this is your kind of movie. Pirates get hunted by cannibal monks through some forest which is supposed to be on an island. The main character (?) is the captain of the pirates who fights with some half naked girl who's life he has spared. basically everyone else gets killed no matter how nice or bad or old or young he is. my favorites are the monk that makes very funny sounds eating and the pirate that says sentences like:"ja." I will now definitely count this one to my favorites, but it would not be a good movie for people who want some serious entertainment. So I recommend you to have a drink or two with this movie. And don't watch it all by yourself!! Watch it in a group or with your girlfriend. It's not, that it is scary, but it will be more fun to laugh in a group.