Dead Clowns

Jesus Freak ME Christ.. How freakin gay can you get? I mean really.. This other a-hole wrote on here that this film was "GREAT FOR THE BUDGET HE HAD!!" what was the freakin budget, $1.50?!? Seeing my grandma naked in the shower is more terrifying than this piece of poop. Anyone who has a problem with what I just said, or whoever wants to question my criticism, go buy a bag full of male genetalia, eat them, then choke and die. Don't freakin watch this malarkey it sucks. And the one star I gave, this freakin piece of dookie doesn't even deserve it. I just put that because there was nothing lower. Screw this movie, IN THE BUNG HOLE! Now I have to pretend to write more freakin text about this movie.. but it sucks. There's not enough gayness in the world to be able to describe this stupid freakin movie in 10 lines. Except the fact that I'm seriously thinking of suing the people that made this movie for mental anguish. THIS SUCKED! BOO!

I knew this movie was low budget and i wasn't expecting a masterpiece but this was still a letdown. The picture was awful, it looked so bad in parts it actually hurt my eyes. The sound was pretty bad in places too but that didn't seem to matter as the entire story was explained to the audience in the first 15 minutes. Where were the characters? I wasn't expecting a really detailed background for each character but most of them weren't even given names. One of them is known in the credits as the tormented woman. Why was she tormented? We're never told. All she did was wander around her house. The acting was passable except for when it came to the attack scenes. There was no reaction from any of the actors. They just stood and stared as if seeing a zombie clown in your kitchen is the most natural thing in the world. If the actors don't act scared or even bothered then the audience won't be either. It's a shame because i liked the story, the clowns and effects were fine and the movie does have something about it that kept me watching. If it had better actors and a bigger budget this could have been very decent but as it is i wouldn't recommend it. I've watched a lot of horror films and while this wasn't the worst in terms of plot and what happens, it's the most poorly shot film that i've ever seen.

I'm a big zombie/horror movie fan. Not a huge buff... not obsessed... but I thoroughly enjoy the violence, blood, gore, death scenes, screams, etc. Demented much? Anyway, so I was checking out the horror movie On Demand list and we chose Dead Clowns. Read the little description, thought it would be corny as hell, but fun to watch... like most horror movies now-a-days. I'm sipping a beer and my two year old daughter isn't even scared of this movie. It's just laughable. If the actors were half-way convincing it would have been so much better. Even tolerable. And the Security Guard at the movie theater? Come on, man. If that little "Emo" douche bag can't lift a fifty pound board off of his body, why the hell is he allowed to go into the theater alone at night to make sure everyone is out of there and lock up the place? He snorts sugar for god's sake. At least the clown did him a favor and cut his arm for him. Hahaha. I just wish the clown could have crawled through my t.v. and cut out my eyeballs.

Generally I have a tolerance for bad films. But I was fast forwarding pretty quickly through this one.

Plot: 50 year old zombie clowns come back from an underwater grave after a storm.

The Good:

1. I felt like I was in a storm. 2. Special effects are impressive. 3.The calliope was actually creepy

The Unforgivably Bad:

1. Acting was bad even judged by it's peers. A Speak-And-Spell would have delivered more convincing inflections in the dialog. 2. The pacing of this stormy film was like water torture. 3. There was no characterization, I felt more sorry for the clowns than the people. 4.This film was ever made.

I would highly recommend you go outside and take a walk. It's beneficial for you and staring at the pacing pavement is a more fun way to spend your 90+ minutes. I just don't see any merit in watching this film.

I've seen this before at least twice. Many have seen the Fog and the premise is basically the same, but the Fog was much better.

Zombie fans may have also seen Zombie Lake. A Jesus Franco production that was not much better, but it had features this film could only dream of.

I only watched this to see Debbie Rochon. It was also nice to see Brinke Stevens, as I will delve more into her later. Fans of either Scream Queen will be disappointed, but if you are not a fan of either, you will be disgusted at the low quality of this film.

Zombie clowns eating body parts, but that's it.