Dark Walker

DARK WALKER begins in Hobbs Grove (1878), where a man steals a pumpkin from the wrong patch, resulting in demonic doom. We're whisked away to the present, and Hobbs Grove is now a Halloween haunted house attraction.

When it comes to unoriginality, this movie hits the jackpot! There's a "creepy old caretaker" who scowls at everyone, as well as the obligatory group of annoying young people, including: The "goth chick", the "stoner dude", the "snobby rich girl", and the "psychic". As soon as any of them open their mouths we start wondering what's taking the killer so long to do his job!

When the moon rises, so does the title creature.

Meanwhile, a tour of the haunted house is nearly as interesting as a trip through a local thrift store, and takes far longer.

Finally, the deaths occur, bringing out the canned-ham-with-hair sheriff, and his idiot deputy. All while the caretaker lumbers around like bigfoot in bib overalls. When the haunted house opens to the public, the true non-terror ensues.

PROS: No low-budget CGI! Therefore, the monster isn't a total embarrassment.

CONS: Everything else.

THE BURNING QUESTION: Is the goth chick's lipstick black, or very, very, very, very dark blue?...

DARKWALKER is an average Teen Slasher film. Unfortunately being "average" as it relates to direct-to-video Teen Slashers does not make it "average" in quality. The film is somewhat entertaining in a dull, mindless, repetitive way. Even for someone like myself, who indulges in these type of movies, and gives every break imaginable, there's not enough meat (much less sense) here to justify 90 minutes of running time.

As a mindless type of film, I suppose it's good enough. It's certainly nothing extraordinary (meaning the two perfect "10" grade for this film is not to be believed), but it is not entirely bad.

Fun at places, but ultimately too generic, even for a genre of films built on a foundation of being generic.

4 out of 10

(go to www.nixflix.com for a more detailed review of the film)

I purchased the DVD from the $1.99 bin at my local video store. I certainly wasn't expecting much, but for $1.99 who cares... I was surprised by the cinematography quality of the film right off the bat, as I've seen much worse from bigger budgets. Director Danny Draven seems to have an eye for details, although the story lacks any real originality. I found the DVD packaged well, with plenty of bonus options and behind the scenes footage. The acting was harsh, but given the script that they had to work with, they did the best they could. I watched it with my daughter, we both had fun and laughed a lot. I'd like to see what Draven could do with a real screenplay, until then, just relax and have fun with it.

Don't buy a movie because it has a cool looking monster on the cover. My friend learned that lesson a little too late. Darkwalker reminds me quite a bit of Scarecrow (another low-budget flick) in that it had a very cool creature design and that's where the good news ends. The Darkwalker looks like the Creeper and Swamp Thing's love child. The film is more funny than horrific. The killings also get repetitive. The creature stalks his victims and rushes them in POV mode, cut to wall, and splat with a gallon of blood. This happens a couple of times. It does feature the biggest damn sheriff I've ever seen though who whips the creature in hand-to-hand combat. That was worth my friend's twelve dollars just to see that.

Think the title is "Darkwalker" (one word), and was "Hobbs Grove: the Movie." It's not worth seeing under any title. Non-acting actors (but the male romantic lead and the woman who plays one of the owners aren't bad); silly demon suit (you can see the head of the guy inside through his mask); boring, nitwit script (including a training speech for the employees at the park); no sense to it anywhere (why is the demon killing people, and why only people who work at the park?); funny commentary by the producer and the director, as if they had made "The Godfather" ("we were so lucky to get this cast"; "this is a beautiful-looking film").

Only reason for this review is to plug Hobbs Grove, the setting of the movie, which has the best haunted house (and the best haunted wood) I've ever been to, and I've been to a few. It looks tacky in the film, as those things always do, but seen in person it's scary and imaginative and atmospheric. Skip "HG: the Movie," but if you're in California around Halloween, check out "HG: the Cool Spook House."