Alien 51

this was probably one of the worst movies i've ever seen. i don't think anyone cared the least little bit about what was being shot, said, or committed to film except maybe the DoP and he seemed to be napping in places. i don't remember ever having seen a movie as unenlightened in the cinematic procedures as this. there is no obvious talent demonstrated at any time or at any point in the film. the acting was as if these people were lobotomized and then just set loose within a certain boundary with a general idea of what they were supposed to be doing. you could almost hear the director in the background (if only in your mind) saying, "just wing it!" this was not entertaining, not amusing, not enjoyable. it left me with the feeling that i was dumber for having watched it. why bother rating it. to rate it would be to insult real movies.

Oh, where to begin my review of this, um, "movie" (if you can even call it that)...

Well, first and foremost, and like my summary states, this is the worst thing I have EVER seen in my life (and I've seen Roseanne naked*)!! This piece of crap is SO bad, I wanted to kill myself because of it.

Why did I rent Alien 51? Well, my friend and I wanted a cheesy "horror" movie to watch - You know, something we could laugh at (ala MST3K). NOTHING could have prepared us for what we were about to watch! First off, we should have known that it was going to be horrible when we found out that Heidi Fleiss(sp?) starred in it. And second, we should have known that it was going to absolutely and humiliatingly bad when we saw that, on the cover, there was a "creature/monster-thing" that was in another, unrelated movie that was made by the same "directors" (I put the word 'director' in quotation marks here because I don't mean to take the grand title of Director in vain). By the way, the other movie was called El Chupacabra; If IMDb.com has it on it's, well, DB, then I'll write a review for that movie as well. But back to Alien 51...

This movie LITERALLY brought us to tears! And I've seen some REALLY bad movies before (i.e. xXx, Fast & Furious, etc.), but this one takes the s***-cake. Hands down!! We couldn't even suffer through a quarter of Alien 51 before ejecting the DVD and burning it (NOT making a copy, but actually burning it!) - And it was a RENTAL!!! So what does THAT tell ya?!

In any case, avoid this pile of nonsensical s*** at ALL COSTS!! Please! For the sake of your sanity, do NOT watch Alien 51!!!

*I have never actually seen Roseanne (thankfully) and I hope I never have to (Hey, I'm crazy, not stupid!). I just wanted to give you some amount of reference as to how damaging, disturbing, and vomit- and tear-inducing Alien 51 is.:)

Well, I'm a horror fan and like good movies about monstrous aliens, but this is possibly the worst movie I have ever seen. The story is non-existent, the actors are very bad and the number of the mistakes is appalling. In the middle of the night you can see everything. In one moment it is day, the next it is night. In one moment a guy is shot and dies, the next he fights with the monster. And the monster... this is some kind of a joke. But it wasn't funny. It is so painfully obvious that it is a guy in a rubber suit, with rubber mask. The infants of the alien 51 (who actually was not an alien) were even more pathetic. In conclusion: do not watch this movie. To the directors: try better next time.

I made the mistake of devoting some minutes I'll never live again to this garbage of a movie. I can't say bad enough things about it. The people who funded (which means they evidently rented a video camera and then attached it to the back of a wild animal, based on the tracking and POV shots) this travesty should be banned from ever making another film. Like Tom Hanks and "Bachelor Party," this is one you'll never see on an actor/actress' resume'. I enjoy bad movies, but even I can't recommend this, on ANY level: It's not campy, it's not witty, it's not even remotely entertaining. Skip over it if you see it on Starz (as I did), and don't spend your hard-earned money/time on it, either. I'm just trying to save you the trouble and pain.

I don't know who to blame for this dead piece of independent film. The acting did not match what was occurring. The camera operators must have been on break the entire time. Half the time the scenes jumped with no apparent reason. The sub-characters IQ's matched their shoe size. The director must not have even been on set the whole time. The story in general wasn't even original. And the flaws with the settings were unbearable. Even the parts were skin was shown couldn't off set the rest of the thing. I wouldn't add this garbage to my collection if they were passing it out for free. I have seen kinder-garden plays with better talent. I watched it out of shear curiosity. It was just an awful film. There is no way possible to enjoy this film. Avoid it at all costs.