Dark Heaven

I just rented Dark Heaven at Blockbuster and boy was it a waste. After seeing the cover, I thought it was an erotic drama but discovered it was a religious horror film with no horror. Bland and sad, there's no reason to watch it. You could always go play DIABLO or put on your goth makeup. The films plot is a about a man stuck between heaven and heck. My mom still doesn't allow me to say the H-word and she's in the room so bear with me. Anyways, we learn more about the man in flashback but we get hardly any people talking. What's the deal? The film is slow, slow, slow.........slow. Completely depressing from beginning to end. The sets look nice, however. The film would have been great if the director, Doug Schultze, had been able to come up with an interesting premise. He could have either done that or got Triple H to star in it. Triple H is AWESOME!!!! I'd get somebody to loan you this movie if you really want to see it. Now I've got to go, my wrestling show is on. Safety!

Head down to your local Blockbuster and pick up this great film. The cover art is a little confusing as it's more of a psychological horror film. Not much gore to it. It's a very rich, deep film about a cop who seems to be having more than just a bad day. My only warning is that the first 15 minutes are a little confusing but after that, the psychological terror becomes more understandable and not just strange. I'm not going to give much away about the film as you need to discover it on your own. After you're done, listen to the commentary track. It features the co-founders of MPI, the Motion Picture Institute of Michigan. Check it out! If you enjoyed this film, I'd also recommend checking out the horror film "Hellmaster" and the delightful comedy "Rachael's Attic".

I realize people have different taste and different opinions on many subjects, but to actually find more than two people who liked this film (if you can call it that)and would admit to it by writing a positive review is disheartening to say the least.

I picked up this film solely on the recommendation of a co-worker Starky. She told me how wonderful and creepy this movie was and I took a chance. After watching the movie a good year or so ago, I'd rather be stuck watching all 13 episodes of Cop Rock. Nothing and let me underline NOTHING in this movie made sense. I don't know if they were trying to follow the style of Jacob's Ladder with dream sequences or what, but it didn't work. The costumes were horrible and I swear it looked like these Angels had plastic swords and I remember some deal with a floating balloon, that again, MADE NO SENSE!

I've read how some people picked this movie up solely based on the cover art of the DVD box, which at first I found ridiculous, but ever since I picked up the movie Rest Stop, I can no longer laugh. I picked up that movie based on the cover on the box and thinking I had missed a good horror movie at the theater that finally made it to DVD. How wrong I was on that one also. Both movies are bad, the writing is terrible, the acting is terrible, the character's actions make no sense and you just sit her wondering how they get any money at all to make this kind of crap!

...and then the movie ended. I saw nothing in this movie that would have any value. I didn't find some deep meaning that made being bored worthwhile, it wasn't nice to look at (it looked really horrible, actually), it wasn't exciting... Maybe some people could find something in there. But I found nothing that justified me wasting my time and money. I thought House of the Dead was the worst movie I'd ever seen, but at least that had some of my attention with the violence and nudity. The best of that they've got in here is some red paint smeared around and an out-of-shape naked guy. I'm not saying I was watching for that. I can forgive either a bad but entertaining movie, or a good but slow movie. Not both of the bad sides in one. I was interested in the angels but they look like plastic statues and they squirt milk when you stab them. I only kept watching because I thought SOMETHING must happen but it was just a predictable ending. I didn't feel anything at the end because the main character said and did the most stupid things. I understand the whole faith thing but it doesn't seem like it was done well. I'm just an average viewer, and this movie was boring and meaningless to me.

The movie is one missed opportunity after another, you get no sense of the characters because the whole movie just constantly jumps one scene after another w/o any regard to good editing and the acting itself would be good if this was a porno. The whole movie is about dead ends, stating the obvious and what will end first, the movie or your patience with it.

Even the worst movies have that one part that is decent and this one has one as well, but nobody goes to see a movie for the hope of that one good part, so if it is on TV and you have nothing better to do go ahead and watch it, but, past that you are not missing anything.