The Graveyard

What do you do with a dopey "film" like "The Graveyard?" Bury it. Bury it deep where no one will ever see it. Yes, it's that bad.

The plot: A bunch of stupid teenagers wandering off alone into dark places at a camp, saying "did you hear that?" and then wandering off ALONE to investigate, having boring sex while they wait to be killed off by some goon in a jumpsuit suit and a bad mask. The goon in the jumpsuit is supposed to be scary but he's actually unintentionally comical. Yes, there is a topless girl having sex and another topless girl taking a shower but you know what's going to happen to them because you've seen it all before in hundreds of other films.

This "film" is so bad it makes Friday the 13th seem like Citizen Kane in comparison. This film is so derivative if you look up "derivative" in the dictionary you will see a definition for this piece of tripe.

These characters act so stupidly you want them to be killed off. Save yourself the time and money and don't waste your time on this dead turkey.

My rating: Total Turkey

The only thing going for this movie is picture quality. There is no shock or horror when the people are killed, only why. And the why, is not worth the wait. The plot is boring, the acting even more so. Sub-plots that are made to drive the viewer away from guessing the killer go absolutely nowhere. The clues that are given turn out to be nothing, the killings are overly gruesome without a reason. And when the killer is divulged, i was as confused as anything. Look, if the people making this movie would be kind enough to explain to me how a person can be in 2 places at once and the point of the cop in this movie, i would be very thankful! Akin to the name, this movie should stay in the graveyard and all will be better off not watching it!

I guess if you spent your life watching every slasher flick ever made, you might be bored by another one. However, if you have only seen a dozen or two horror flick, this one is really not bad.

It had plenty of suspense and creepiness. Sure, I guessed who the killer was within 10 minutes, but that didn't spoil it for me. Seeing who, if any, would escape was worth waiting for - and confirming my guess, too.

The best part was, of course, Eva Derrek. I am so looking forward to seeing her in Werewolf in a Women's Prison, which is supposed to be out this month on video. Let's just say that there really isn't much of her left to be seen, but it will be a great reunion.

Lindsay Ballew (Mr. Woodcock) was great in the lead, as was Patrick Scott Lewis (Zodiac). The Sheriff (Sam Bologna) was a real hoot.

Sure, there are plot holes big enough to drive a mack truck through, but hey, this is a slasher flick, not an Academy Award contender. Relax and enjoy.

My work received a screener pack from Maple for movies released in June. Through past experiences most of the films in them were, well just plain appalling. And I would end up turning them off within the first few seconds. But this movie caught my eye from the very start. The art for the cover was rather dark and somewhat scary looking, so of course I loved it! I found myself relating to the film really quickly. Just brought me back to when I was a teenager and playing hide and seek in a graveyard, good times. So most people can find themselves relating to this movie, which in return makes it much more freaky, cause you start to think about this stuff happening to you, which in all respects it can. Its not one of those movies that are far fetched and just unbelievable.

You get a Friday the 13th vibe in this movie from the very start, mostly from the surroundings and the kills in it. Not to mention the fact that it is based in a summer camp. The one down fall is that the killer is easily guessed. Within the first ten minutes I had a good idea of who it was and why they were killing.

I would defiantly recommend this film to a horror fan. It has all the factors of a good horror film, blood, knives, those characters who you hate and would like to kill yourself, some laughs, but not too many, a straight to the point plot, no extremely unbelievable stories. And finally the whole fear with being able to relate to the story, there is nothing more scary then that.

Truly worth a watch.

This film is one of the more stupid slasher flicks I've seen in a long time, if not ever. There are some major problems with key plot elements, among them:

#1) A person will not be charged and convicted of manslaughter when they did not in no way, shape or form commit manslaughter.

Yet, were are expected to believe that is exactly what happened. Prior to that, we are supposed to believe that just by running, you can impale yourself - all the way through your entire body - on some metal rods. Not falling from a few stories, not being thrown into them or anything, just general running - and apparently you wouldn't instinctively stop, or avoid the rods, or anything else. Then, because of this impossible impaling, the guy's friend gets 5 years for manslaughter - even though he never touched him! MORONIC! At least there is some nice nudity, a few times. But just about everything these characters do and say makes no sense whatsoever.