Honey, We're Killing the Kids

In the first episode, we have a family of five. Dad is average-sized, Mom is–did no one notice? Obese. Guess what, Mom–two of your three kids are fat. Mom, you're overworked and you don't make the time to make nutritious, balanced meals for your kids, so here's what they'll look like in thirty years–decrepit, decaying felons, who, by the way, are also obese. We "know" that junk food causes the "epidemic" of childhood obesity, but who knew that obesity causes moral degradation, poor hygiene, marginalization, and failure, not to mention bad eyesight? Thanks to this shameless program, we know now. "Cutting-edge" technology, quietly abetted by the same tricks and biases employed in the very old technology of before-and-after photographs, tells us so. And so the reality-show takeover of the family's lives begins, with the expected clearing of the refrigerator, and the institution of regimented eating and forced exercise. It's all right, I suppose, for adults to sign up for this kind of degradation, but since children have no choice, the parents' adoption of the reality-show staple Gestapo pose made me squirm. Excuse me, but in the linking of punishment to the eating of "forbidden" foods, I see a recipe for secret eating and future weight gain. And then the audience is expected to applaud as the cameras withdraw at the end of the three weeks. Are we really supposed to believe that three weeks is enough to reverse years of eating habits–and the effects of genetics? In all the reality-show tough talk, where was the mention of the likely effect, in her nurturing and in the genes she passed on to her children, of Mom's obesity? No, it's all video games and television and not knowing that green vegetables have fewer calories than Twinkies; yeah, right. As for the show's premise, linking obesity to every kind of visible decay, did no one notice that Mom, though obese, and forty or so, was also clean, neat, attractive, and definitely did not look as though she had just stepped out of a mug shot? A shameless show.

This is the sort of show that most people will just ignore, and that's actually fine. Even though it espouses some (and I mean SOME) good eating habits and lifestyle changes, it's by and large just drama and half-truths.

Each show begins exactly the same, so you may as well tune in about 6 minutes in. Quite honestly, the entire show could be done in about 18 minutes if it was done without commercials or needless and constant repetitive footage, but I'm getting used to that in today's television shows. If you have TiVo and want to see this show, have it recorded and watch it later, that's what I do and it saves me about 40 minutes a viewing. It's seriously that padded.

Padding issues aside, the show espouses a nutritional attitude very reminiscent to the vegetarian Nazis we all met in college (or will someday, age depending). You know the sort of party line - meat is evil, everything you could possibly ever need is obtainable from vegetables and fruits, and everyone obviously has the free time to go to the grocery store every other day to reacquire the "fresh healthy foods" that go bad in a day. Oh, and everyone also has the free time to spend upwards of an hour (often up to TWO hours) preparing an evening meal.

Whether you agree with this agenda is one thing, but it's hard not to do a double-take at the utterly confrontational and unrealistic way the nutritionist approaches the concept of teaching someone to eat "healthily." The families involved are undeniably out of shape and in need of a kick in the pants, but they're forced to drop every food they've ever liked and go straight into a vegetarian (or near-vegetarian, they seem to be relenting a bit the last few episodes) diet. For example, tofu stir fry. If you don't see a dinner-table mutiny coming when that's on the menu for kids who've lived on pizza for 10 years...

Oh, and if you haven't already laughed at the highly-touted "aging technology" they use to show the kids at a hypothetical 40-years-old, well, you'll get your chance to do so. If you've ever seen a 2am weight-loss drug commercial, you've seen these trick before/after style images. It's shameless, but perhaps it serves a good purpose if these patent lies (bad eating habits keep you from shaving regularly and make you wear 70's style glasses and mullet hairstyles?) get the parents to take notice of the way their kids are living their lives.

The long and short of it is, this show has some good thought behind it. People need to be made to realize that how they live their life will have an impact on their future health, their children's health, etc, but the show goes about it in a manner sufficient to irritate a saint to violence.

Truly the Learning Channel has finally lived up to its lofty title. Admittedly, I have learned how to trade homes with my neighbors and do some redecorating thanks to 75% of the shows on this channel, despite the fact that my neighbors continually call the police on me when I break in and rearrange their bedrooms, but that's beside the point. Finally, thanks to Honey, We're Killing the Kids, I have opened my eyes.

As a young lad, I used to eat little more than bacon and motor oil and as a result I too grew into a bit of an unwashed, bespectacled ne'er-do-well with a penchant for porno, crooked teeth, a rather cheesish funk that clung to me like a baby koala to its mother, and a wall eye. If only this magnificent TLC technology was available to my parents! And if only my parents hadn't sold me to a traveling band of acrobats! Had my parents not sold me and been caring and seen this show and gotten us on the show, I can barely fathom the changes it would have wrought. Doubtlessly, after 3 weeks of eating soy protein and beans I would probably be Brad Pitt right now. And I don't mean I would look like Brad Pitt, I just assume I would be him. And why not, it seems as though TLC possesses reality altering futuristic technology. Or just lame crap. But I hope it's reality altering futuristic technology.

In short, "Honey, We're Killing the Kids" is informative and not remotely ridiculous in any way, shape or form and should not be equated with the televised equivalent of massive head trauma brought on by an alcohol induced sense of invincibility that leads one to try to crack walnuts on the pavement with one's own skull.

Bless you, The Learning Channel, for providing quality, non-sensationalized programming that increases the intelligence of all who watch and does not make me wish someone would insert a Braun hand blender into one of my head cavities and whip my brain into the right consistency to appreciate something so absolutely pathetic and devoid of soul. You rock!

This show had an interesting premise. Unfortunately, it was torpedoed by an awful host, a complete lack of compassion, and sensationalist producers. Holding children up to ridicule and insisting that parents do things their kids are guaranteed to hate -- just to get a reaction -- should be prosecuted for the child abuse it is. Watching this show amounts to an immoral lending of support to such behavior. If consenting adults want to subject themselves to such treatment, that's one thing, but to do it to kids is unconscionable.

Spare your blood pressure and give this one a miss. Unless you can convince yourself that these are just actors and that, in actuality, no children were harmed in the filming of this drivel. In that case, if you like shock or horror programming, go right ahead and watch it.

Honestly, I feel it's a half and half for me! I mean the diet is way to strict, I mean, TOFU? Who eats tofu why can't you have grilled chicken breast? But the good thing about this show is that overall it does help people, I mean sure they could be being more of actors then realistic, but overall it does help in the long run! But I do agree with the other people leaving comments, it has so much commercials and wastes so much time, if they didn't review everything that happened and didn't have 3 and 1/2 minutes in commercials it would be at the most 25 minutes long! I do think that it is a good idea with the future analysis though, because it really motivates the parents to change they're children's eating and exercising habits, but most of the time i think that some of the families will not stick to the diet I mean come on have you seen the parents on here, some do not take charge, some get lazy and get McDonalds, and some just can not go from having fast food 3 times a day 7 days a week to eating broccoli and carrots! And Parents lead an example for the kids! And sometimes 3 weeks don't change that!